humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
Never Date a Kangaroo
It’s always trivial when a man brings you to an ethnic restaurant of his said culture, and openly speaks a language you don’t understand to other guests in the dining room. If I had the option to redefine rude, I would file this under the description without blinking. This happened to me on a first date with a total stranger, and I have to say although the food was great, I left with a bad taste in my mouth. Finding out that he was trying to invite our waitress to have a threesome with us later that evening is a whole other story. Kudos to him for thinking he could make it that far, though.
Melissa SantellPublished 6 years ago in Humans#MyWorstDate...NYE
#MyWorstDate wasn't really what I would call a date... It was NYE 2016 and my friends threw their annual house party. I was wearing my favourite scarlet red mini dress I had bought in Montreal and I was in peak party mode. People were filtering in and out of the house throughout the night and I, being the social butterfly that I am, was wandering around and briefly chatting with whoever paid any mind to me.
Charlie ParisPublished 6 years ago in HumansTinder Matched Me with a Drug Dealer
After being named the "world's hottest app," having 100 million downloads, and the fact that it's considered the "#1 grossing lifestyle app," I'll admit—I was sold on installing Tinder to "find friends, dates, relationships, and everything in between." As a matter of fact, being a member of the LGBT community, dating apps have been one of the many ways I've met long-term friends, whom I was once matched with—and after a bad breakup, I was ready to get back out in the dating field. Ultimately, there's nothing like swiping right on some stranger 20 miles away, only to find out that "You're a Match!"
Kennedy BrownPublished 6 years ago in HumansMy Worst Date Story: Do You Wanna Get Burritos?
So back when I was still single and ready to mingle, I finally gave Tinder a try after many failed attempts at meeting people in real life. I was just too weird and awkward to start conversations with strangers face-to-face and I had no idea if they found me attractive or not. I sort of thought Tinder was a way of "giving up." Like yup, you've finally admitted it to yourself, you suck at social interaction. Welcome to being a Millennial.
Riley BatesPublished 6 years ago in HumansMy Worst Date Story: Bulgogi, Barf, & Bae
Strap in, folks. This is going to get wholesome (and gross). *** It was a dark and stormy night... Just kidding, it was a mind-numbingly normal and boring night. Couldn't have been less interesting if it tried, in fact. I was laying in bed on a Saturday night, and I'm pretty sure I had only gotten up that day to pee and eat. I wasn't depressed or anything, just lazy.
Chelsea B. KendrickPublished 6 years ago in HumansThe Winners and Losers From Elementary School Graduation
I was in fifth grade; tall, smart, studious and athletic. I loved to swim, had a few really close friends, good grades, and a happy family to go home to everyday. My parents kept my busy with swim class, after school activities and a brother and sister each to chase after constantly, but despite all that, I was a daydreamer. I loved music and was actively playing piano as well as just beginning to write my own songs at the time. I was a happy kid, and life was easy. This is the story of one of the fondest memories of my childhood.
Delilah JaydePublished 6 years ago in HumansBrutally Honest Relationship Memes All Couples Should See
I'll be the first to say that meme culture is not something I'm really that big a fan of, especially when it comes to the often-toxic relationship advice people get from them.
Sasha KonikovoPublished 6 years ago in HumansShould've Swiped Left
#MyWorstDate While I was in college, I was on a quest to find my prince charming. I looked everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Unfortunately, my looking led me back to high school where I clearly should have left all of those love interests.
#MyWorstDate
My submission for #MyWorstDate isn't so much a date, as it was a hookup gone wrong. I was visiting my friend at her college and staying with her for the weekend. Us and a few other of our friends were going to go out to a few parties for the night and she was going to show us around her school. I knew before I visited, based on the school's reputation, that it was a lot less liberal than the school I attend and much less diverse as well. I didn't realize what a moral dilemma this would end up being for me later. So we get to this party and I'm meeting a bunch of new people and my friend introduces me to this really cute guy. Before you know it, we're talking, then dancing, and then making out. Nothing bad so far. Then he invites me back to his place. A freshman dorm building. So we Uber there and I'm like ehhhhhh okay well I get it I lived in a dorm once too and he says his roommate isn't here so its fine. We get to his dorm and turn on the lights and the first thing I see is a flag on the wall with a giant picture of a rifle on it with something along the lines of "Don't take my guns" written along the top. There was a fridge with a ton of Republican-esque stickers on it, such as "MAGA" and "build that wall" and a bunch of others supporting Trump and the first amendment. Being a passionate liberal, I was instantly turned off to find that his side of the room was the one with the stickers and the flag. But with me being drunk, and him being cute, I decided to overlook my morals, sleep with him, and get out of there. Big mistake.
That Date
It was September 2014 and I was only 15 years old. I myself had never been on a "proper" date and I really liked this girl I had met at a musical competition. I honestly didn't even think she liked me back but I asked her out anyways and she was immediately asking where I wanted to go and when or what we were gonna do. I hadn't even thought of what we were going to do initially I was waiting to see what she would be interested in divulging in with me. We talked it over and she decided she had some cool places she wanted to show me in the town she lived in. I agreed and sure enough a week later both our parents and ourselves met at and ice cream shop called Sugarbear Shop. First her mother was upset because my dad and I "took too long" to show up. (Keep in mind we lived 45 minutes away from where she did.) She then also brought her little Jack Russel Terrier whom which bit me when I tried to pet because I adore any dog I see. To which her mother replied a chuckle and "he's just playing." She insisted she have my phone number but I hadn't ever have service on my phone. She got angry at my dad for not making sure she could get a hold of me, while her daughter had a perfectly fine phone. She just refused to contact us though. Anyways, my dad was over it and we were too so we went in and bought some ice cream. We made sure to slip out the door on the opposite side of the building to avoid her mother and made our way to the boardwalk across the street. So we're walking, talking, laughing, having a good time and we're making our way to the backside of this cafe so she could show me a waterfall she had seen before. We passed underneath a bridge and I, being edgy as hell, stopped and used the sharpie I had with me to write "butts" on the concrete. I thought we had been alone but someone in the cafe decided they didn't like what I was doing and yelled at me not to damage property. We decided to bolt before they could come outside and yell more. While we were scurrying I climbed a concrete wall and lost my shoe in the water. To retrieve it I had to carefully climb out on this ledge over the water so I could hook it with my toes and get it back. Then we had to run into the woods to avoid getting caught by the person on foot behind us. After that we ended up going into the woods and seemingly anytime I tried to kiss her I ran into a tree or spider web, so I gave up. We were walking along and we heard hooves before I almost got slammed by a giant doe. She said something along the lines of "Look at that deers." I could never get over the silly mistake I kept repeating it to her and making fun. This took like an hour of time so we were walking along and I announced that a slushie sounded good. She and I found a gas station and bought some slushies. We were strolling along and I tried to lean over and kiss her but I lost my grip on the slushie I was holding and it hit her in the boob and broke spilling it all over her from knee to toe. Then I tripped and rolled down the hill we were on into a herd of geese. There was slushie on her and goose shit on myself. Needless to say, I called my dad on her phone and had him come get me. I apologized for all the dumb shit that happened and told her regardless I liked spending time with her. She said she needed to go because it was chilly and the slushie drenched her feet, so I kissed her cheek and we separated. Later that night she texted me and told me that we needed to see each other again and that's when we went on the date in the photo above. It was much nicer than the first time around.
Corry JayePublished 6 years ago in HumansMy Worst Date Ever
So, I was asked to sum up my worst date. So here goes. It started with me getting comp tickets to my old Theatre Company's show of Hairspray. I knew a friend of mine had been into me for a while (years), so I figured why not ask him and see where it goes because he's really nice and smart and I like his tattoos.
Katie WerthmannPublished 6 years ago in HumansMy Worst First Date, or Why You Should Never Trust the Bank
$177.86 was the ultimate price I paid (literally) in order to get home from the streets of Brooklyn on a cold February night back in 2016. While this tale is a #WorstDateStory, I want to preface that the date itself was, for the most part, fine. This is more of a cautionary tale to those using mass transit to reach their dating destination. Do not make the same mistake I did, or else you'll never that $178 ever again.
Dylan GonzalezPublished 6 years ago in Humans