I always had a deep love for the idea of love, but I also wasn't sure what that was even supposed to look like. Was I supposed to have a guy that was going to help me check off all of my desires before I died like in
It was the day after Thanksgiving, 2017. I was lonely after breaking up with my boyfriend in October and this was the first time I spent a holiday without him. I had this friend whom I also knew was quite lonely and depressed during the holiday so I thought I would hit him up to have dinner. I felt bad that he didn't go out of town to spend the day with his family as he initially planned and I knew he was alone and lonely and could've used some good company, just as I did.
Ethan* was the new kid in sixth grade. He called me on my home phone the week before Halloween and asked if he could go trick-or-treating with me and my friends. He wore a "punk" costume, complete with mohawk and skin-tight pants. We were close ever since, weaving in and out of each other's lives for almost 15 years. He asked me to be his girlfriend at some point, and I said no: I knew something wasn't right, and that if we crossed that line, our friendship might never recover.
My worst date was a date with the guy that I thought liked me. I have had some pretty made dates, but this one was so bad I pretty much forgot about it. Let's start at the beginning and let's call this guy Fred.
It was two years ago when I had gone on this date with a "guy" who was two years older than me. He was 18 years old and I had just recently turned 16.
As children we grow up watching how “happily ever after” turns out and it’s always the most romantic thing ever. We find grace and beauty when the prince rescues the princess, marries her and lives a long happy life. Since our first Snow White tale and Cinderella fantasy, we start to imagine our lives with our true “Prince Charming” and how life will be forever after. However, our wonderful movie creators and authors forget to mention a lot about how living with someone can be stressful and how life isn’t as easy as wishing upon a star.
Long late night phone calls — or early morning ones — love letters, the belief that distance making our hearts grow fonder. The idyllic dream of the long distance relationship being a book worthy tale which more often than not can end up being a bunch of unanswered texts or phones calls, and wondering whether staying up in the middle of the night because your partner is in a different time zone just to have a 5 minute conversation is worth it.
So, I’m four years post-high-school-graduation; I’m in my senior year of college sitting in some humanitarian-type-communication-studies-like class. I can’t remember the title of the class for shit, but I CAN REMEMBER that it was when I received a Snapchat from MY OLD HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH THAT I NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO BONE. We didn’t get a chance to get down n’ dirty during high school for various reasons. First, I was dating a different guy all of high school. Second, not sure if he knew who I was in high school? THEN, my high school sweetheart WENT OFF TO COLLEGE WITH said high-school-hottie that I never got the chance to bone but I DID GET the chance to admire him from afar when I went to go visit my boo thang during his freshman year of college.
My worst date was with a guy I met online. He messaged me and told me I was gorgeous. I believe his exact words were, “What is someone as gorgeous as you doing on an online dating site?” I really didn’t mind this message. It was better than, “You are pretty even though you have bags under your eyes in that picture,” or “Hey let's have sex." So I thought he was really nice...even though he really wasn’t the best-looking guy out there (Get it? I put a little irony in there). I’m generally a bluntly honest person, so I simply replied his question with: “I’m lonely, isn’t that why anyone turns to online dating?” He didn’t seem very pleased with that answer, but we kept talking and moved on.
It's funny. The moment I clicked to start typing... my fingers froze and my heart started beating fast. This is my first time telling anyone (besides my mum) about this. Yes, it's a true story. I can say it's terrifying. Terrifying to write it all down... but I want to come out with it and help anyone who is going through something like this to identify their situation and GET OUT!
Tinder has always, and will always be known as the dating app that really isn't a dating app. As a woman in her mid-twenties I am aware of this, but still hope that I meet one of the men of the 5 percent that want something more meaningful than a hook-up. Don't get me wrong, I have indeed met men on there just for the sake of being friends with benefits, but even that doesn't always go anywhere. When will a girl learn? About a month ago is that answer, I finally learned about a month ago.