Bad luck in love, why do good people fail in love

Bad luck in love, why good people fail in love

Is your ideal of emotional attachment, good character, and behavior towards the other party the reason for your repeated failures in love

Unfortunately, idealization, giving, and transcendence are already important values for any relationship. But at the same time, it is a double-edged sword that if not used correctly destroys any emotional connection between two parties in the long run.

Why do you face misfortune in love even though you were the perfect party

1. Excessive gratuitous giving:

A good, kind person does everything out of love, compliments, buys gifts, looks for luxurious places to go out, waits, cares, and constantly communicates with his/ her beloved. And in return, the same thing is not expected from the other side permanently or in the same way. Unfortunately, not expecting or waiting for the opposite in the same way from the other party is a big mistake that most romantic people who sincerely love, acting under the influence of sincere emotion, make.

Giving in itself is not wrong, on the contrary, giving is considered the most important and strongest reason for the success of any emotional relationship. But the mistake is not to be reciprocated in the same form between the parties, and not unilaterally. It is wrong to do everything for the other party, while not waiting for him to give in return.

To do everything well and correctly and strive to be the perfect partner free from flaws and mistakes makes you feel over time that you are exhausted and exhausted. While the other party gets used to the idea that he does not have to make any effort for the continuation of his relationship with you. There are even some people who feel towards excessive giving and carelessness are being bought, although the truth is not so!

But, unfortunately, a person who evaluates giving in this way is difficult to exchange his beloved for the same, on the contrary. His reactions often carry a lot of arrogance and selflessness as a result of his erroneous assessment of the Giving of others.

2. Reward the other party for his mistake :

Many people who sincerely love the other party, tend not only to ignore the mistakes of the other party in their own right and the right of their emotional relationship, but they often respond to those mistakes in a positive way that carries the form of reward!

Example: (to buy your girlfriend a gift after she behaved arrogantly towards you, to exchange your lover with expressions of love and affection after he abused you with hurtful words or inappropriate description).

A calm, kind, loving person, he does not like the idea of discord, conflict, or problems. And sometimes he thinks that when he responds to the negative or arrogant behavior of his lover with a good and positive attitude that the other party will certainly appreciate it and be ashamed of the mistake. Thus the situation will be contained and the problem solved!

Unfortunately, this is a big misconception. Especially when this is the way to react to all the negative actions of the other party and in the long run in their relationship. It's like you're rewarding the other party for their negative actions towards you!

It is the nature of human beings that they distinguish error or wrong behavior as a result of its consequences. Negative consequences, of course, are a consequence of the wrong behavior and are therefore a motivation not to repeat that behavior. And the positive consequences of any behavior motivate us to repeat it as long as its result was positive! And what happens is that when you act positively towards the other party after his mistake against you, you subconsciously motivate him to repeat that matter with you again, and therefore the tension space in your relationship gradually increases.

3. The other party's view of love and giving:

It is not always necessary that the reasons for the failure of the relationship are related to your style or way of giving, but there are reasons related to the other party. It's like having a personality that views love as a weakness. This type of personality often carries their reaction towards the other's expression to them of his love and feelings of much apathy and arrogance. Of course, they also force the expression of their feelings, no matter how strong, because they refuse to admit that they are weak.

Also, there are a lot of characters who see in their subconscious that love is necessarily connected with a wound. Thus they unconsciously refuse to reciprocate or continue an emotional relationship with a loving, caring, and loyal other party. That unconscious rejection and the desire to retreat and not continue a serious emotional attachment increases whenever the other party is someone with advantages. The more sincere he is in expressing to them his affection and interest. Under the influence of this is the belief that the more beautiful and romantic the beginning of the love story, the more likely they will suffer a big wound at its end.

Therefore, people who look at love with such a prickly gaze expect from him a wound, not happiness. It is very difficult for them to respond in their relationships normally. Even though they may have sincere feelings and are interested in the other party, and even though they are aware that the other person is loving and sincere in his interest in them.

Unfortunately, most of them tend to either deny or have adverse reactions as a result of complex psychological dimensions in their personalities. They are often unable to respond to a sincere person normally. There are even those who tend to avoid emotional attachment in any way at all and prefer the state of loneliness because for them it is a safer situation, and much better than being exposed to a situation of weakness or harm!

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