Scour Your Mind

How many times do you have to tell people to pick something up, throw something away, or just clean up?! If you are a mother, then it seems like you do this every moment of every day. If you are a father, same thing. However, what happens if you are just a married woman who spends the majority of her days working? What then? What happens when your brain goes so fast that you just don't know how to physically catch up?

Seemingly it is as though the deck is stacked against you, I mean me. Let's be honest here about who this is really about. As a reader, you may be able to identify with everything that you are reading right now. However, as for me being a writer, I know every detail to a finite point. I am all too familiar with living a married life for everyone on the outside to see. However, in my mind, I feel like I am single and the only person that can understand anything that scrolls through my brain.

I suppose that is why I am always drawn to my writing. My mind begins to boil over with stress and anxiety and I begin to feel worthless. I tried to draw in as much determination as I could. But it is never enough. I have tried to keep a journal, but that doesn't help. I either lose it or I get tired of writing in it. I figure, hell, why bother? I am the only one that cares about the words on the paper.

However, I am in love with writing. I love freelance writing the most. Ghost blogging is my favorite. Simply because no one knows it is me who put those words out there. My name is not attached to it, I am not responsible for the outcome. When I release those words onto a website and it is an open game for every reader in the world, I just hope they enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Consistency is key. We hear this everywhere, right? People tell us to be consistent and to make a pattern. It is true to a point. Being consistent in writing is really a good thing. If you dedicate at least 30 minutes a day just to writing down your thoughts, it can help with anxiety and stress, and even give you a sound sleep. I have also been told to just go with it, just deal with it. I have sat down with my keyboard in my lap and just written whatever comes to my mind. I figure if it is in my mind it needs to come out. It eliminates the list-making and the checking of boxes for me. It allows me to just get every thought out of my mind, good, bad, or ugly.

Sometimes I go back and reread the work that I have written. By rereading my own work I can tell what type of mood I was in. I can tell the inflection in my own words. It will prove to me whether I was having a good day, or not. My readers don't know that trick, just me. But it is cool to go back and actually read my own emotions in my writing. It helps me to step back and just reflect a little bit on every single word that I have chosen, and why.

The title references scouring my mind like I scour the bathroom. The ridiculous fact is that I hate scouring my bathroom. So what does that tell you about me scouring my own mind? There are a lot of demons stuck up there that I am truly trying to get out of there. One day, they will be gone, and I believe that day will be when I am gone.

Until Next Time; Kristina