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My Husband Is Not Contributing Financially (I Support My Husband Financially)

Are you worried about your marriage, saying to yourself my husband is not contributing financially? If so then it's important that you don't make the mistake that most women make in this situation. If you're in a situation where you're saying I support my husband financially, then this might be the most important thing you've ever read.

By Diego IvanPublished 2 years ago 5 min read

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

You don't need me to tell you about the dire state of the American economy and the reverberations being felt around the world. While you're probably well aware of how this is directly impacting your bank account, home value, and nest egg, there is a hidden casualty that doesn't seem to be getting any press:

Marriages are buckling under the stress of these uncertain, stressful economic times.

Money is a sensitive and complicated issue for many couples. Arguments and power struggles can easily result and couples often feel blindsided by how a once strong relationship can be pulled apart by conflicts over finances. Here are five steps you can take to help your marriage survive this economic crisis.

1. Make the decision to keep your marriage a priority

It is easy to lose sight of the importance of your marriage during tough economic times (or during any stressful period). Many loving couples lose their way when worries about job security and money begin to take center stage in their relationship-intimacy is temporarily compromised when you or your spouse become overwhelmed by fear; the very bond that supports your union can be weakened when your fears become a mainstay of your marriage.

Becoming conscious of this danger is essential to the health of your marriage. Make it a habit to check in with each other and acknowledge the importance of your relationship-you both need to make a conscious effort to help your love transcend the hurdles you face. With a little planning you and your spouse can create "no-worry-zones" throughout the day--protected moments where you both give one another permission to only think about each other, about the positive aspects of your marriage. Think of these as temporary pit-stops that can allow you both to refuel the marriage.

Remember, if you're anxious about money and/or job security, it will take effort and practice for you to be fully present with your spouse in these moments.

2. Acknowledge and accept changing roles

We all play different roles in our relationships (and in our lives). For instance, you might be the "go-to person" during times of trouble; or maybe you're the joker who makes everyone smile.

Often changes in family income bring about changes in the roles that were a natural part of your marriage-the bread-winner who took pride in supporting her family may now have to apply for unemployment (or take two jobs just to make ends meet); The full-time parent may now be forced to leave the children in someone else's care and search for work. Beyond defining us as individuals, many of our assumed roles give particular meaning and value to our lives-and we can feel shaken at our core when stripped of these roles.

Share your struggles with your spouse and supportive others if you are having difficulty transitioning into a new and unwelcome role in your life.

3. Find new ways to connect and enjoy one another

Your income and resources may change drastically during a financial crisis-or you may live with chronic anxiety that your finances can drastically change at any moment. Money that you originally allocated for vacations, dining out, gifts and other leisure activities may suddenly be needed to pay the mortgage or rent, be used for food, and utility bills (or saved for future expenses). Your marriage needs to change with the changing tides of your finances.

The challenge is for you and your spouse to seek out new ways to connect and enjoy each other without the constraints of limited finances. You'll need to adopt a new mindset for this to occur and you'll each need to sacrifice. As your inspiration think of the starving artist or broke college student who are able to create meaningful relationships despite being financially destitute. Try to forget the trappings that money brings and head back to romance basics: holding hands, long walks, movies, games (is anyone up for charades?), making each other laugh...brainstorm together on how to have inexpensive, low- to no- cost fun.

4. Learn to ask for help/seek support from each other

Denial and stoicism aren't useful, especially if you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Unfortunately, some couples keep their collective heads in the sand and act like it is business as usual until something drastic happens-well, something pretty drastic is happening, so now may be a good time to get your head out of the sand.

There's no way to sugarcoat this: It's dangerous for you and your spouse to begin withdrawing from each other-you'll now be faced with the anxiety of a troubled marriage on top of everything that's playing out across the global economy.

5. Understand how you each cope with stress

Lack of financial security creates anxiety in all of us. As your anxiety level escalates during these uncertain times it becomes easy to displace your reactions to stress onto your spouse.

No matter how healthy your marriage is, it is common for conflict to escalate when you and/or your spouse are under stress. Ideally couples will learn to rely on one another to get through the difficult times that are part of every life. The reality, however, is often different.

A brief example of how financial stress negatively affected Vince and Karen:

Vince recently lost his job as a systems analyst at a large insurance company. In order to make ends meet, he needed to find work quickly and took a job making significantly less money. For the first time in their marriage, money was extremely tight. Rather than seek out Karen for support, Vince became more withdrawn and began to feel inadequate as a husband--his self-esteem is tightly wrapped around his ability to support his family. Confused by her husband's behavior, Karen began to confront Vince about his "bad attitude." Repeated conflicts replaced the once peaceful terrain of their marriage.

Part of the problem for Vince and Karen (as well as for many couples) is that they each have very different coping styles when faced with stressful life events. Vince withdraws and ruminates (rather than seeking support from others) and this triggers a fear reaction in Karen who begins to worry that their marriage is in trouble.

Is there a solution to this dilemma?

Become mindful of each other's coping style

Often a marriage is damaged not by the stress itself, but by the way in which you and your spouse cope with stress. The more information you have about how you both deal with the pressures of life (your typical patterns of coping), the more understanding and empathy you will have for one another during relationship rough patches.

Don't spend another day wishing your marriage was different. If you want your spouse to treat you differently, make it happen. You can have the deeply connected, fulfilling relationship you've always wanted. Experience what it feels like to have a spouse who will do anything and everything for you - Learn More Here

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages, then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done… All my best to you and your spouse!


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    DIWritten by Diego Ivan

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