Let go of people who are not ready to love you

Anthony Hopkins said:

"Let go of people who are not ready to love you.

This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important thing.

No more difficult conversations with people who don't want to change.

Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence.

I know your instinct is to do everything you can to gain the appreciation of those around you, but it's an impulse that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.

When you start fighting for a life of joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you to that place.

That doesn't mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren't ready to be with you.

If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you spend time with, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to give them your energy and life.

The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.

This is what makes it so special when you find people with whom you have friendship or love.

You will know how precious it is because you have experienced what it is not.

There are billions of people on this planet and you will find many of them at your level of interest and commitment.

Maybe if you don't show up, they won't look for you.

Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship ends.

Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for weeks.

That doesn't mean you broke the relationship, it means the only thing holding it together was the energy that only you gave it to keep it going.

That's not love, that's attachment. And give a chance to those who don't deserve it!

You deserve so much more.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy because both are limited.

The people and things you give your time and energy to will define your existence.

When you realize this you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, activities or spaces that do not suit you and should not be around you.

You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you is to protect your fierce energy more than anything else.

Make your life a safe haven where only compatible people are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving anyone.

It is not your responsibility to convince them to improve.

It's not your job to exist for people and give them your life!

You deserve true friendships, true commitments, and full love with healthy and prosperous people.

Deciding to distance yourself from harmful people will give you the love, respect, happiness and protection you deserve.”

I was physically shaken by this text. I felt my legs start to tingle and my stomach tighten.

Hurt me.

But I reread it again and again and again. I felt the pain even stronger, deeper, sharper, until it reached my soul. Inside him. I felt my chest burning, my heart pierced by a thousand swords, words I didn't receive but waited for, thoughts that didn't belong to me but accepted as and how that was the truth, but it wasn't. It wasn't my truth.

The truth is that the truth is beyond us and our power of imagination. Which also comes from the mind.

The truth is that truth is beyond physical pain and suffering. Which also comes from the mind.

I read such texts almost daily, it's true, that few touch my sensitive points like this one did.

But at the end of it all, I'm always left with the question:

And how do they do that? How do I get to the truth? My truth? How do I get beyond? Beyond my constant need to help, to make myself useful, to leave myself to others, to ask nothing for myself because I don't deserve it, because I haven't worked enough, because I haven't done enough , beyond the need to be seen, appreciated, accepted, loved?

How come? What are the steps? How can I make myself feel good?

The theory has always been the simplest. Writing about how bad it is to choose to exhaust yourself for the benefit of others without receiving gratitude and love is the easiest. Or that time is limited and we only have this life to enjoy it is a drop in an ocean of days in which you wonder what else to do to make the house good, how to gather your patience from the corners like stop yelling at the children, secretly crying so you don't have to explain: why is mom crying? because "my eyes sting" doesn't last anymore, out of desperation that he doesn't answer your messages anymore, that he doesn't want you anymore.

An ocean of days in which you hear:

– Nothing is needed, you are ok as you are! It's ok the way it is! It's ok the way I am!

And you still want to do something. Something else is needed. Can be even better. I still don't deserve this ok.

– Time is limited! is heard again in the echo.

– But I can't stop! comes the answer from your heart suddenly.

Instead, how can I stop having to constantly fill my glasses of love through suffering, this yes, practical exam with sure propulsion towards the Absolute!

How come?

I'd like to tell you that it's as easy as a walk in the park. Or as the specialist books say, accept yourself as you are, talk to your inner child, have a very good friend with whom you can talk about your suffering and many other things that are said and which may or may not apply.

I'm not one for prescribed steps, not in this situation.

I believe that each of us is unique, even though the suffering may seem the same or even identical, in reality, each one manages it according to their own strengths, capacities, intuition which makes the resolution so personal.

How many times have I not heard:

– I don't understand why you can't get over it!

- Come on, that's it, the past is the past, move forward!

- Forgive and start over!

If only it were that simple.

And yet, when I began to delve into the issues, the same people told me:

– Now I understand why it's so hard for you!

Because everyone has their own story and decodes it differently.

There are people who choose to die rather than heal emotionally. Because as silly as it sounds, it's easier to die than to move on, in emotional healing.

So, there's no way I can give you a prescribed regimen to take every morning on an empty stomach.

Instead, I can tell you what I did.

I trusted LIFE!

As simple as it is difficult!

I surrendered to the power of life. It's incredibly hard to just let go, to stop controlling anything, but not to stop caring, but to have the strength to look beyond what you get and trust that it's what you need to- be well Even if at first glance it's bad.

I'll give you an example.

Those who were rejected in childhood or felt rejected, either because they had an older brother and the parents did not handle his birth properly, or because he comes from a divorced family and the parents did not properly handle the separation, or because he wanted to be aborted and escaped, or was a so-called "problem" child, and the parents avoided him, they will develop unhealthy relationships in adulthood, as the actor above also speaks. Unhealthy attachment relationships. They would be able to do absolutely anything, in any type of relationship, whether we are talking about professional or personal relationships, as long as they are accepted, seen.

That's why we have friends who don't use us but we stay stubbornly there, or couple relationships where we think we can still do something because maybe, maybe our partner sees us too, or for fear of being rejected and abandoned again.

I lived for years proving that I am a model employee, a model mother, a model wife, a model woman without anyone asking me for anything. It was only in my head.

And I still had something to do.

Confidence in Life came when I had the courage to say that I don't want it this way anymore. With fear I gave up the job, my most sensitive point, because it no longer fulfilled me. With fear I assumed the fact that I will no longer post on the blog page every day at 9. Not even at 10 or 11. But when I feel that I can convey something useful. And not to be seen.

I don't need to be seen anymore. Because I am already seen. How much and I'm ok like that.

With fear I said to my dear friend: the conversation with you does not help me, it really hurts me. I cried for 3 days and 3 nights, but then, I regained my strength.

With fear I went to my good friend and told her: I was wrong, I'm sorry! I didn't know how to manage my anger and fear and helplessness. It was so, so hard for me to accept that I might not be the perfect friend, but my biggest fear was losing her. And I didn't want to even then, I left myself to the will of Life and she forgave me.

With fear I accepted that I had lost a much loved earring from a pair I had received from an ex-girlfriend of mine that I thought I would get back, and we would make up. But Life told me that it was ready and that it was ok to accept that that was it.

With fear I told my husband: I'm changing and maybe I won't be the woman you want in your life. And he told me: it's important that you be happy, and then, see you later!

With fear I took my children and told them, mommy is going through a difficult time, but I love you and I will always be with you. And they helped me peel potatoes, clean the house and water the plants, with the cat and were quiet when I asked them.

I did what I felt, even though I had a visceral fear in me that I was losing control, that I was losing my job, and my family, and the people around me, that I was losing meaning and direction.

Life has given me a completely different trajectory that I am now learning to enjoy!

He left me the people I need to grow, to develop, who accept me as I am. Who love me and not because they need me, not because I answer a need, but simply,

Because they are.

I will iron laundry and make cocoa snails for the kids.

I'm going to cry for a while, for all the years I smiled and it wasn't my smile, but I trust that I'm starting to live the life of my life!

And God, how much I like myself!

I hope it will help you!

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