Lessons That Continue to Be So Important to Me

Authors Note: Many of the following sayings I don't know who originally said them, but they were all helpful to me in my life!

My son was born on July 21, 1978. One month later he stopped breathing. He was diagnosed with sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). His father and I were struggling in our marriage.

We went to a marriage counselor who told us she couldn't help us and she gave us meeting lists and a chemical dependency assessors name and information.

She said to work with us would be like pounding our heads against the wall and we wouldn't get anywhere.

I started meetings that week. Our son turned 48 this week. In one month, I will have been in recovery for 48 years.

My husband went into treatment soon after. During our marriage he went to treatment five times. We divorced; he remarried and had another child. He died from the illness at age 46.

Some of the things I learned are below. And like it says above, I am still learning.

Denise Estey Lindquist

Live in today only
With one foot in yesterday
and one foot in tomorrow
You are peeing on today!
~
Say the serenity prayer
and many times, each day
It will help you to stay
in the present today
~
You don't have to like anyone
but you have to love everyone!
How do you do that?
Look around the room
and with your eyes say I love you.
~
Pray for those you resent
For two weeks, pray
that they receive
what you want for yourself
~
The three C's of family recovery
You didn't cause the addiction
You can't cure the alcoholism
You can't control the disease
~
You can love and pray for
those family members
that are struggling with
addiction and alcoholism
~
You are powerless over alcohol
and your life has become
unmanageable. Admit powerlessness
Turn it over to a higher power
~
If you always do
What you always did
You will always get
What you always got
~
Being restored to sanity
Is possible in recovery
Insanity is doing the same thing over
And expecting different results
~
No one saves us but ourselves
No one can and no one may
We ourselves must walk the path.
~
Pray for your children's partners
You will love them and their partner
and not be critical of their choice of partner
You will not be a difficult mother-in-law
~
We don't all recover from this disease
Stick with the winners
Meeting makers make it
Don't quit until you find your people
~
How important is it?
Is it worth my serenity?
If it is, I will say what I need to say.
If not, I will walk away from a fight.
~
Religion can help people
It is the support of others
Culture can help people
It is the support of others
12 step programs can help people
It is the support of others
Treatment and Counseling too
It is the support of others
~
Recovery is doable as a We program
~
Good morning!
This is God. I will be
handling all your problems
today. I won't need your help
so have a good day!
~~~~

Author's Note: I was told I had to choose the restaurant to meet at every other week with a friend in recovery. After six months she told me it was because of my perfectionism. I thought it was so that I would have an easier time making choices. It was both.

She explained that if something went wrong with my choice then it would be my fault. She then said that was perfectionism. I didn't know that. It helped. Now I have no trouble with choice, and the perfectionism is gone too.