Instant Connection

As she passed me, a terabyte of information was exchanged through our eyes. Most of it was subconscious and impossible to put into words. I read the information passed to me but it was as if she skimmed over then transferred the information I sent her to the recycle bin. Still, she noticed its glow and time stopped while the exchange took place.

That day I learned that humans can recognize souls in the bodies of strangers. That love at first sight is real. Those few moments will stay with me forever.

I don't always know when another woman identifies as a lesbian when she dresses like a tomboy and has hair with both feminine and masculine qualities. But, during our exchange, I knew without a doubt that she was a lesbian. Maybe it was because the way we looked at each other had a hint of checking each other out to it. I don't know. Also, the way she looked hadn't been my typical type but I was so strongly attracted to her as if we were magnets. It was powerful like the world stopped just for us for a few moments.

The first thing I saw in her eyes was all the pain from her past and how she had overcome it. However, it lingered on within her serious expression. Below is a poem that was written to describe this part of the exchange:

Later, after the exchange, when I asked her about her favorite song, it confirmed she had experienced immense pain in her past. Below is a link to the song:

The next thing I noticed in the exchange was how it felt to really be noticed. Until that point, it was as if everyone else that had ever looked at me had looked at me like I was just another face in a crowd of identical faces. Even though she sent me to the recycle bin, she felt something intense before deciding to do it. I saw a shape to my soul form when she looked back at me.

Something else that happened was inspiration. This was a result of more than one reason. First, it was the feeling of being seen. Then, it was wanting to improve myself after she later rejected me when I revealed how the exchange made me feel. Below is an excerpt on this from Conditions, a poem in my short book of poetry, Overmorrow. It refers to the fact that I am an air sign and she is a fire sign in the zodiac, which is said to be a great match for a couple.

I was air filled and seen

Dancing in the shape of her flames

Something that the exchange taught me was that people are not always what they seem to be. I feel I am a very strong person just from the fact that I keep going everyday and I keep trying to follow my dreams no matter how slow my progress is at times. However, her rejection gave me thoughts of inadequacy even though she never gave her reasons for rejecting me. Later, I learned that the negative things one takes from any situation are actually problems within themselves. I noticed that the reasons I thought she may have for rejecting me are also reasons I might have for rejecting others. I vowed to try not to reject anymore based on those reasons. I knew I should look deeper into a person because I look like a loser to others on the outside but inside I know I am not. This kind of misinterpretation of people happens a lot. Let's all strive to look under the surface of others.