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In a Word, "Friendship/Platonic Love."

The "other" Love Languages (as spoken BEYOND words)

By Kent BrindleyPublished 2 months ago 7 min read
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In a Word, "Friendship/Platonic Love."
Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

"I love you."/"...Yup; luv ya, bro/babe."/"Lotsa luv to ya."/"Love and appreciate you."

These sound familiar; in fact, even in my lifelong season of singleness, I used them ALL OF THE TIME with close personal friends, my nearest and dearest coworkers, and platonic pals.

I'm trying to step back to an idea where "I love you" is INTIMATE (and those who still hear it from me should feel so very close to me).

I don't appreciate those who no longer hear it as often any LESS than I ever did; and I, personally, always meant it sincerely. It's just that, after a while, it can SOUND a little hollow and a misunderstanding of just how much I really mean it could arise...

Here are a few other favorite options from my own personal experience lately.

There are so many "Love Languages" between even friends and platonic pals.

Some of my personal favorites:

*"Let me know when you get in safe..."/"...I'll be happy to do so; you get in safe as well."

Then I, or both of us, follow through.

This one's my favorite and Facebook is PERFECT for these back-and-forths; be it over a shared status or a more intimate message. (Also, since I'm out and about on the local tavern scene every single night, these back-and-forths HAPPEN every night with friends who know that I don't drive).

*(A random message reminding someone that you're thinking of them, wishing them a good day, or to remind them that you're there for them in times of trouble).

By Solen Feyissa on Unsplash

You're going through a bad day; and just a really bad season (okay; maybe that's just me. Okay; that's me).

"I'm love-sick toward an unrequited Specific Person." "I'm exhausted." "I'm tired of fighting for something that was never on the table (but, by-golly, something COULD BE there!)" "Maybe I'm the problem..." (Food for thought).

*PING!*

"Oh BOY; is it...?"

No.

It's an old friend reaching out to me in concern over my musings lately and just to remind me of her support for me; even offering me the safe space of a direct message to bend her ear. I won't take her up on the last part; but I so-do love that an old friend who, to this day, means the absolute world to me should continue to reach out...

*(Friend bails me out of a bad situation)/(I at least say thanks as all of my attempts to RECIPROCATE backfire).

By Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash

Hello, modern-day "Specific Person." (It's a fancy phrase for "crush" since I'm now pushing 40).

By Leonardo Sanches on Unsplash

Anyway, we're talking about the type of individual who is always there for those people who are there for her; whatever that may look like.

...and I know this because she has now bailed me out of at least four, if not five, difficult situations since at least last September.

I mean, there was the other woman who was especially "handsy" with me one night (and, therefore, what I was "saved from" was my own temptation to buck inhibitions and respond in kind to the type of female attention that I, honestly, yearn for; from a party who is sober enough to at least REMEMBER the advances if not be sincere about them). "Specific Person" was there to intervene.

There was the time when, in simply trying to protect her from another guy, a third party mutual friend of ours misread my intentions with my Specific Person. Specific Person made sure to let me know the TRUTH of the situation and that she (the victimized party of another guy) hadn't misread my intentions.

There was the moment when another guy at the bar was getting loud and belligerent with me and I finally reached the breaking point where I got loud back (I don't know what my next stop would have been if getting loud hadn't worked. I'm not usually a physical guy; then again, it takes quite a bit of needling, baiting, and pushing to make me get loud either [that; and I'd had a hell of a day anyway]). She knew and understood the situation and used her role at the moment of representing the work environment to call the guy off before an altercation could happen.

Anyway, that leads us to...

*(A mutual sense of caring and respect for one another).

By Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

I deserve to have been written off a long time ago when my words and actions always appear, even in my eyes, to be way out of line.

By the good graces, we're close enough as friends where a mutual sense of respect and caring is a crutch for me to lean against even as I idle into "neutral" for a while as I determine my next steps.

By Karo Kujanpaa on Unsplash

*(Showing a friend a sense of understanding even after their words/actions could be easily misinterpreted).

By Heather Mount on Unsplash

...and we're back to our earlier points.

*(Lending a helping hand as necessary; but, sometimes, giving others the space to ASK for one).

By Jackson David on Unsplash

Okay; this one DOES have to do with me; especially at my seasonal job.

I'm a "seasonal" worker for my favorite tavern. These fine folks are my friends. Therefore, I stop in for a visit; my next natural instinct is to yearn to HELP (especially that they know and I know that I don't drink beer, I rarely order food, my sodas will be comped, and water is free to begin with).

By Kai Pilger on Unsplash

...I have a notorious longing to help even in my off-season; they know this and, as far more seasoned veterans in the industry than I am, THEY know how to ASK for a hand.

The fourth time that I "owe" Specific Person (and probably the one time that I reciprocated her past attempts properly): "It was a longer day for her, she was solo, and the dam had just burst of bar patrons. Fatefully, I had been occupying a bar stool over a soda, water, and bowl of soup for upwards of 45 minutes. She asked my hand with a few tables for a half-hour-forty-five minutes, I aided her and abetted her, and she reminded me how grateful she still was of me..."

*(The delivery of a favorite coffee for a longer shift, vitamins/medicine/cough drops when you know that a dear friend's health is struggling, or a warm embrace and soothing words to help mend just a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day).

By __ drz __ on Unsplash

*(Building up the nerve to honestly inform a friend of your boundaries; or trying to read the room and situation for yourself).

By Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash

Face it; I'm a life-long single guy (not by choice) and, obviously, don't know what attractive girls are going through on a daily basis.

Sometimes, I do need a reminder about where my lane is with close friends who I'm sometimes cosy with; other times, they're not so comfortable with my cosiness.

Obviously, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone to pump their brakes and let them know where your boundaries are. "Look; I'm having a VERY different day than I had the last time I saw you." "I don't wanna be rude." "What if they get AGRESSIVE?" "Here I am, just trying to make some honest money and represent the tavern..."

...If I don't know for CERTAIN where/when I've crossed a line that didn't used to be there, I can't come correct.

(Yes, some of the ownness to READ THE ROOM does rest even with the guy; when they're social morons, it could take them a while to reach the right conclusions on their own)...

*(Even the attempt, however awkward, to remember a person's boundaries and try to respect them).

By Kevin Butz on Unsplash

So, I've been told that my (totally platonic) "Love Language" has crossed a personal boundary (or I've actually read a situation for myself; accurately).

"RESPECTING a person's barriers/boundaries" IS an important "Love Language;" especially with friends who you love and respect enough to want to keep around you (and ESPECIALLY when you're talking about, you guessed it, your Specific Person).

In short, there are a plethora of "Love Languages" beyond a simple word and I appreciate everyone who's shown them to me lately.

singlelovefriendship
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About the Creator

Kent Brindley

Smalltown guy from Southwest Michigan

Lifelong aspiring author here; complete with a few self-published works always looking for more.

https://www.instagram.com/kmoney_gv08/

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  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Wonderful love words!!!💕♥️♥️

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