How to Become Visible to Your Twin Flame/Soulmate: Step 1

Do you like yourself?

Be honest.

After all, if we can't be honest with ourselves, who are we really kidding?

Believe it or not, how much we like ourselves is part of the first step to becoming visible to our soulmate/twin flame.

But 'liking ourselves' isn't like turning on a light, is it? A light is either 'On' or 'Off'. Liking ourselves is a bit more complex.

I like how kind I am to strangers.

I don't like how mad I get in traffic.

I like how good I am at my job.

I don't like the shape my body is in.

There are many things we like and dislike about ourselves.

The main purpose of asking ourselves the above question (Do I like myself?) is informational. Establishing a baseline/starting point is helpful.

'Helpful' toward what?

How deeply do you Accept yourself?

We all have hundreds (maybe thousands) of different likes and dislikes about ourselves, our behavior, our societal status, our material belongings, etc.

The real question is: How comfortable are you with your likes and dislikes?

How deeply do you accept yourself?

If we do not accept ourselves... do we even want to find a 'twin flame' to that kind of dysfunction? Isn't that what a co-dependent relationship is at its core? Two broken people compensating for each other's brokenness?

Sit with that for a moment, if needed. I understand that language may be stinging for some.

Let's take a small side-track for a moment...

Did you catch the language used in the title: "How to Become Visible to Your Soulmate/Twin Flame"?

Not, "How to Find..."

Not, "How to Attract..."

How to Become Visible to them.

What does this suggest to you about this process?

Is it a 'hunt'? (Hint: No)

Is it an 'enticement'? (Hint: No)

When you and your Twin Flame encounter one another, it is a Happening.

Like a sunrise or a change in season. Nothing can stop it, when its time has come -- and nothing can start it before its time has come. It just happens.

Please note: The above statement is not a fatalist one. Why? Because you are in control of when that time is.

You have direct control over when that moment comes. When the Happening happens.

How do you control this moment? Call it in? How do you make this moment happen right Now?

By Practicing Self-Acceptance.

Pay close attention to language here: practice - a consistent procedure; a routine or habit; i.e. practicing writing, painting, a sport, or a musical instrument.

Think of self-acceptance as though it were a muscle in your body. You have to exercise it in order for it to be coordinated and useful to you.

When we practice self-acceptance as a repeated, habitual process, something magical begins to happen.

The passionate desire within our hearts... that clingy co-dependent yearning that tells us we need someone else... that fire begins to dwindle.

In its place, a new fire rises. It's steady, calm, and confident. This fire tells us we are just fine by ourselves.

Twin Flame? Sure. You can show up if you want. Whenever you feel like it. Until then? I'm good.

^This is how it happens. The only way it ever happens. We have to be entirely comfortable with Ourselves before we can live a comfortable shared life with Another.

In other words: A Twin Flame Relationship is one where two stable individuals co-exist inter-dependently.

Co-dependent is a term with which many of us are familiar. The upside to a Co-dependent relationship is that it can often be soothing to our ego's sore spots and insecurities. The downsides are: It's messy, clingy, and when it ends, it rarely ends well. On a long enough timeline, Co-dependent relationships have a near-100% track record of successful dumpster fire.

Independent is a term we hear mostly in the context of people who have escaped a Co-dependent relationship. The trauma from that relationship often inspires a 'swing' to the other end of the spectrum. An Independent relationship is more of a 'roommates' style of relationship than a trusting partnership. At least one party (if not both) of an Independent relationship keeps one foot out the door. This is done to safeguard against being trapped in another Co-dependent relationship.

Inter-dependent is a relationship that 'transcends' the Co-dependent/Independent spectrum. This is a relationship consisting of two individuals who accept themselves for who-they-are.* Almost as though both individuals are on their own 'spectrum' and those two spectrums run parallel alongside one another. (Different from Independent, who takes the "You do you" approach to the parallel tracks. Divergence in Independent is an inevitability. With Inter-dependent there is continued inspired courtesy and grace offered back and forth, which keeps the parallel tracks running in harmony and magnetism to one another.)

Both individuals are genuinely comfortable being by themselves, but when they encounter one another, they realize they are headed in a similar direction, so... "Wanna ride together?"

Commitment in these relationships is less of an obligatory consideration and more of an emerging truth. The more life Twin Flames experience with one another, the more they realize they have in common. Impossibly small traits and peccadillos which one would never think to 'put on a list' or 'ask for' (Law of Attraction) in a compatible mate. This creates a state of continual re-discovery. Inter-dependent partners 'see one another anew' often several times each day.

^This is what is meant when these relationships are described as a Happening.

* This does not mean the individuals in Inter-dependent relationships are 'done growing'! One great quality of these relationships is both parties allow room for the other to grow and change.

How do we practice self-acceptance?

Is this an article you all would be interested in seeing?

Let me know in the comments, along with anything else you are inspired to share. 💙

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If the content of this article resonates with you, it may interest you to know I am currently creating and teaching a new course: The Self-Reflective Elective. This live, online, cohort-based course will be in partnership with Maven and will be launching in the next few weeks.

This course will also be the first of several. Level 1 is designed to help you craft the foundation of your unique approach to Self-Reflection. Subsequent cohorts will build from there.

To that end, if you are interested in Self-Reflection, what would intrigue you to take a course on it? What would make it valuable enough to you to inspire you to prioritize yourself and sign up?

There are many starting points or places we can begin. I want to share that which is most wanted by You... that which You will find most valuable to know.

If you would like to share your thoughts, I have a very short survey linked just below. No strings attached. You're not committing to anything. I'm still in the process of shaping the exact content of the course and your feedback would be part of the 'clay' in that process!

https://maven.com/forms/c4b937

Thank you, again, for being here. You make our world better just by being part of it... as You.

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https://www.innerconnectivity.com/