How do I cope with depression?

Three years ago, I was depressed. I couldn't stop crying about the mistakes I had made, and I tried to dig myself out of the black hole. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't go back, and the only way I could see was through death. I want it to end and I don't know how I will live with myself.

I went to see the doctor for a check-up because my body was too tired. When I told her about my symptoms, she immediately asked me if I was having suicidal thoughts.

She saw right through me.

I didn't want people to know I was sad, but I couldn't hide it very well. It shows through my eyes, the way I look and dress, and the way I talk to people. There's a black aura around me that scares people off, and frankly, sometimes I'm afraid of myself.

A year ago, I felt the same sadness coming back and I was in that hole again. I could be trapped in my thoughts for hours. I feel so numb.

Getting up is the hardest thing to do, and I don't think there's any point in being awake. Thinking about my life paralysed me and planning my future felt too scary, so I put off making any decisions about my life.

Give in to the pain

Somehow, I realized that I could control my thoughts, and my mission became to stop them from getting in the way of living my life. I decided to face all my fears, even if they made me sad. Of course, it makes me feel uncomfortable, makes my heart beat faster and my body feel tense, but I know I will live forever.

Giving in and allowing yourself to really feel the pain when you are still is the way to finally get rid of the hurt. I am determined to learn from my illness and turn it into something good. I decided the past couldn't hurt me anymore.

All this time, I've been hoping that someone would come and save me, but the sad truth is that no one did.

I'll be honest with you: sometimes I think it's all nonsense. Just the other day, I was ready to throw in the towel.

At night I cried in the dark, alone, and in a way it felt good, but the thoughts inside me were so hurtful that I wanted to end it all.

Who is responsible?

Past regrets cause me to have anxiety attacks -- all my mistakes replaying in my head. When I woke up the next day, I was still sad, but the sun was shining. I had this quiet moment with the universe as I watched how the world lit up.

I was only outside for two minutes, but it had an effect on my soul; You know that place next to your heart, when you're happy, it lights up.

Some days I feel like I'm back where I started. I feel sorry for myself, but it won't last long. This is because I have become aware of my own thoughts and I know what will happen if I don't break the darkness before it takes over me. I try to always remind myself that I am in charge of my life.

On a good day, I feel like someone is beside me, guiding me, pulling me away from my dark path. I see signs that I'm on track, and I feel relaxed. When you turn the scales from negative to positive, the whole world opens up for you. Sounds simple, right? Here's how I heal myself:

To perfect

I chose to let go of all expectations of life and stop thinking about what could happen. I have to admit that it is a difficult process and it takes a lot of practice to constantly remind yourself to step back from control and let life happen to you, but I firmly believe that if you can master it, you will find true happiness.

I used to beat myself up because I didn't have the perfect body or the right friends, and it made me unhappy to think of all the things I thought I was missing out on. Today, whenever I feel my mind racing into doubt and negative thoughts, I try to slow down.

I take time to care for my soul. Sometimes, it's okay to be yourself, whether you're happy, crazy, crazy, or sad. It's okay to be simple -- not so much a product of education, money, wealth and status. Depression is often caused by the pressure we put on ourselves because we want to go somewhere.

Realizing that you are a significant person right now can be tremendously liberating and release a lot of energy that can make your life much happier. Stop trying to get to the next level; You're where you're supposed to be right now.

Looking for an anchor

Go through all your emotions, crying and getting angry if you have to. Set yourself free, get rid of all the ugliness, and set a date for the healing process to move on to the next stage. Find something or someone to keep you motivated -- this could be a fond memory of the past, an interesting plan for the future, or someone in your life. For me, the thing that really keeps me going after problems in my life is spending time with my nephew.

When I felt indifferent, I remembered the little guy's strength and his cute smile every time he came to our house. Being with him still makes me so happy and loving. I always look forward to our time hanging out. He's my angel, and he's the one who made it all worth it.

I cling to his memory whenever I have a bad day or life doesn't seem to make any sense. It can also help you stick to a particular song, book, or movie that fills you with hope.

During those dark years, I used to read everything I could find on Think Simple Now and other depression blogs, and that kept me going.

I still log in from time to time just to refresh my memory of all the lessons I have to learn. It's a bit like sticking to the promises of all those who have been through tough times and believing that this too will pass.

Very grateful to

There's a lot to be thankful for. You can read, react, talk, understand and walk. Be surprised and fall in love with yourself. Love yourself for who you are. You are a man. You're great.

It's amazing how the body works. Your entire existence is a magnificent mechanism, more complex than any other species. If you feel like you can't be grateful for anything, thank your brain, your fingers, and the way your body repairs itself.

It's strange to me to think about how the right side of your brain connects to the left side and vice versa. It's amazing how everything works in your body when you just breathe.

Why stop there? Be thankful for the way the world works. One of the things that really surprised me was our transportation system -- my favorite was the subway.

I'm always amazed at how it works. There's a whole different world out there! Think about it for a second or two and thank all the smart people who lived before us and created all these incredible buildings.

To dream

For me, journaling is a way to clear my mind and reorganize my thoughts from all the chaos. I always keep a notebook and a pen next to my bed. It helps me keep balance. I write down my thoughts, dreams and prayers.

When I started writing a few years ago, I noticed that when I wrote down a wish, it easily manifested itself in my life. Writing makes the mind clearer. It's a way of releasing what you want into the universe.

The key is to be able to let go of the dream and trust the process. Sometimes you may have to accept that it won't work exactly as you planned and that it will work just fine anyway.

Everything you need is inside you. There is no particular environment or state that you have to reach in order to be happy or to find happiness. If you can't change your life today, change your mind right now. Yes, it's that simple. Give it a try.

My best advice is:

Live in the moment. Breathe in the present moment.

Hold on, hold on.

Appreciate the little things that make life great.

Dream big.

And then repeat.