From Illness to Inspiration:

As I sat at the massive wooden kitchen table, accompanied only by my sweet little dog, the oppressive August heat seemed to weigh me down more heavily than usual.

I tried to tell myself that I felt this way because this day was hotter than normal, but deep down, I knew the truth—I was sick. Despite having endured many hardships in my life, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this time might be different—that I might not make it through this one.

As I sat in the stillness, waiting for my COVID test results, I couldn’t help but reflect on my life and all the decisions I had made to bring me to this point. Here I was alone, in trouble, in a foreign country, without family, and in an unfamiliar medical system. My heart sank as I realized the predicament I was in.

My body soon succumbed to sickness with incredible force and speed. The following weeks were a blur of fevers, medical professionals, IVs, and a relentless onslaught of self-criticism and regret.

Despite the overwhelming illness, I made a conscious effort to shift my focus toward gratitude. I was thankful for the blessing of receiving treatment in the comfort of my own bed with my little dog by my side. And even when pneumonia infiltrated my lungs, I was grateful for my strong swimmer’s lungs, which fought fiercely. Though there were moments when I was keenly aware that I teetered precariously between life and death, my body refused to give up the fight.

As I lay in bed those weeks, I found myself in rare moments of stillness. For the first time in what felt like ages, I was able to just be without the pressure of constant productivity or the noise of the outside world. At first, it was uncomfortable because I was always busy between teaching, swimming, and living life. But like many people at that time, I had no choice but to accept the situation I was in.

It was during these quiet moments that I found myself reflecting on my life, my choices, and the things that had happened to me that contributed to the person I had become. As I thought back on all the pain, disappointment, and triumphs, I was struck by a deep sense of gratitude.

For all the struggles I had faced, I felt more like myself and more authentic than I ever had before, and that was a place of inner peace as well as personal power. At that moment, I was okay with whatever was about to happen.

However, there were a couple of things that were bothering me and felt like unfinished business. Ever since I was a child, I have loved the written word and the way it could transport me to different worlds and different times. Crafting the ideal sentence that precisely conveyed my thoughts and feelings always gave me an immense sense of fulfillment. But I never wrote anything beyond fragmented snippets of ideas and stories.

As I lay there, I asked myself why I had never really tried to get serious about pursuing a writing career. Sure, I had dabbled here and there, jotting down ideas and writing technical pieces, but that was not my passion. I had never truly put myself out there, never taken the risk of putting my words on paper and sharing them with the world, and when I asked myself why, I already knew the answer—fear.

As I reflected on this realization, I felt a sense of sadness and regret wash over me. Looking back, I can see that I made some critical errors as a young adult because I allowed fear to influence my decisions when I should have followed my dreams. And now here I was, coming to the last phase of my life.

"What if I had tried?" I thought to myself. What if, regardless of the outcome, I had taken that leap of faith and pursued my passion? Would I be lying here now, consumed by regret?

At that moment, I thought, "Wait, what have I got to lose?" So I began to write my first book. It was a story that needed to be told because it is filled with love and hope, and I knew the story would pretty much write itself. It was the story of my precious dog, Kina, her rescue, and how the universe brought us together.

After completing my first book, entitled My Name is Kina, I realized how much I loved writing and how much it meant to me. I decided that I didn’t want to stop there. I was determined to keep writing and sharing my stories and experiences, especially those that dealt with overcoming obstacles and leading the life you want.

As I continued to write, I discovered that my confidence grew with each piece I completed. I'm no longer concerned with criticism; it's more about releasing what has been trapped inside of me for so long.

Now for the biggest surprise of all:

I had pretty much given up on the dating scene, especially after being single for over 20 years and going on countless horrible dates (but that's a story for another time). I was sad because I felt I still had one great love in me, but I was nearing the end of my journey and had missed my chance. Never in a million years did I think love would find me in the midst of my darkest hour.

I had met someone about 8 months before who had become a good friend. I hadn't heard from him in a while, but I had been too preoccupied to notice. One day, completely out of the blue, I received a picture message on my phone. "Hey, how's it going?" Because my friend is a paramedic, the timing of his message could not have been more perfect. So, naturally, my response was, uh, not so great.

We started messaging and video chatting several times a day from then on. It was then that I realized he was a really great guy! Why hadn't I noticed that earlier? But it wasn’t until I was forced to slow down and reflect that I realized there was something deeper between us. We had a connection that went beyond friendship, and I could feel it in my soul.

However, it was an unusual situation at first because it was so unexpected, and well, I was busy fighting for my life. But as we talked and explored these feelings, and as we became closer, it became clear that we were meant to be together.

Since then, our relationship has blossomed into something beautiful. My soon-to-be husband has since moved to my city, and now we share a home with my little dog, Kina. We support and love each other in a way that I never knew was possible. We are both incredibly thankful that we were able to connect and make it through the pandemic's difficulties together. I have no doubt that we were meant to meet at this precise moment and that the universe is always conspiring on our behalf.

Final thoughts:

Despite the challenges I’ve faced, I’ve gained a more optimistic and appreciative outlook on life as a whole. While COVID-19 certainly took a physical toll on me, it also allowed me to discover who I really am and grow in ways I never thought possible.

COVID-19 may have brought me sickness, tragedy, and heartbreak, but it also bestowed upon me unexpected gifts. As I battled through my illness, I discovered the resilience and strength within me to live in alignment with my true self. With renewed passion for writing and a fearless capacity to love, I emerged from the experience more whole and complete than ever before.

If I were to give any words of wisdom about that period of time, I would say that you don’t have to wait for something so tragic or life-altering to start pursuing your dreams and living more authentically. That final chapter of your life comes around pretty quickly, so don't waste time! Finally, you never really know what wonderful things are waiting around the corner.