Don't Say You Want Out of Your Marriage Unless You Are Willing to Leave

There is something that women do in relationships that can be very annoying. When they are having problems with their spouse, they will tell someone close to them that this is it, and they are leaving or are going to put their husband out. The next thing you know, everything is just fine and they are saying how good the relationship is. Time passes; and when something goes wrong, such as the husband staying out all night, falling off the wagon, or cheating again, the wife is ready to end the marriage once more.

It's understandable that when situations arise, married women want someone to talk to. Emotions run high and things are said in the heat of the moment. The thing is, that you cannot take back something once it has come out of your mouth. When you tell your friend, neighbor, or relative that your husband is a scoundrel, serial cheater, a drunk, an addict, or has lost another job you, are making him look bad in their eyes. When you say this is it, but when things calm down you decide you will stick it out, it makes you look unstable.

If you cannot work things out in your marriage and find you must leave or put your spouse out, then by all means let people know. To complain and make threats you never carry out does no good for anyone. My Facebook news often has posts from women saying how their husbands, boyfriends, or baby daddy's are no good, and they are going to put them out. Within days, these same women are singing the praises of the same man and saying how wonderful he is. One woman told me it is her page and she can post what she wants, which is true. Still, you have to wonder why anyone would make themselves look bad on purpose.

This is my opinion, and I understand that every person has the right to make their own choices. I just don't understand the purpose of airing dirty laundry, only to clean it up, then air it out again and again. The way I see it, if you keep your mouth shut about your personal business, then whatever happens the public will find out in the aftermath. I come from a generation that values privacy but today we live in a Jerry Springer world, where it's the norm to go on television and share your most intimate thoughts and personal details of every aspect of your life.

The girlfriend you tell your secrets to might tell her other BFF who shares with her mom, who tells her co-worker, whose husband works with your spouse, and so on, Why add unnecessary drama to an already troubling situation? I've been in numerous places where people were discussing what they read on Facebook and calling out names of people I knew.

I was hearing folk's business that I had no reason to be aware of. People tell everything, and even make up stories based on their own situations. Ever since age 12, I have had sinus issues and when I get an infection, under my left eye puffs up. When I was pregnant with my third child, I developed morning sickness that happened all hours of the day and night. I never had it with my first two, so this was a shock. I was also 33 and working a night shift job.

One night I went to work in spite of a sinus infection, and was feeling really bad. My left eye was puffy as it always was when I had respiratory issues. As I walked down a hallway I heard one coworker tell another one that she knew my husband had hit me in the eye. A few weeks later she came to work with a cast on her arm, and everyone said her husband had beaten her and broken her arm. She was projecting onto me the physical abuse that she was enduring.

The bottom line of all of this is that women can be petty and jealous, and if they are single, may not steer you in the right direction regarding your marriage. I was in a retail store recently and women were at the counter filling the clerk in on another woman's private affairs. My attitude is that people are going to talk no matter what, but why give them ammunition?