In 2003, online dating was not a very big thing, nor was mobile data plans. T-Mobile had a service on their data. There were no pictures, just some instant messaging, games, and connections. Through this wondrous doorway, I met and started chatting with a girl from a small town near where I lived. We had many things in common and enjoyed chatting late into the night. This went on for 3 months.
Let's face it we all have had our fair share of bad dates, whether it was with someone that we knew/kind of knew or perhaps the worst dates of all—blind dates. For those of you who have never had the pleasure or lack thereof meeting a complete stranger, you may want to stay clear of the whole online blind dating hype, just a bit of friendly advice.
All my life I never really thought about dates. Relationships to me were a way for one person to keep tabs on another by controlling where they went and when they went there. I had spent my whole life trying to gain the confidence and knowledge to someday become a powerful figure in society and I did not need someone coming along and ripping that from my fingertips. I was always more of the independent type. If I went on a date I’d probably stress out the whole time about who’s going to pay for dinner. Typically I would pay because I hate for someone else to buy anything for me. The idea of that always made me uncomfortable. But a small part of me still wanted to know what it was like to go on one. And not the cliche, Hollywood cinema, stereotypical, retro diner type of date, either. I wanted a normal date. And by normal, I mean dinner at Applebee’s and possibly a movie at home. Finding the person to go on the date with was the hard part. I didn’t want to just go with anyone random, and I definitely did not want to do the blind date thing; that would be terrifying. So that is exactly what I did. I never would have thought that my worst date would also be my first and possibly my last, but it was exactly that. My best friend set me up on a blind date with one of her best friends’ ex. Now that already sounds terrible. Your best friend's ex? If I would have known at the time that that is who I would be going out with, I would have immediately declined the offer.
Only a few weeks ago, if even a month, I had decided I was lonely and bored one night. I wanted to have sex and conversation. So I, a woman who's picky about my kinks, decided I would message a guy I talked to some time ago on Tinder. We never had much conversation, but we had similar sexual interests; we both were into rough stuff AND casual dating. I hadn't talked to him since Thanksgiving, when I was upset my brother didn't come over and he asked if he could come keep me company. I said yes, but that I wasn't looking for sex that night...I should have taken his response as a red flag. "I'm not going to drive out this late if it's not for sex." So, months later, I decided to message him again, because I was looking for sex and I was desperate. I didn't want to hook up with anyone that wasn't into what I like—I was craving satisfaction and he seemed like the kind of man who could give it to me.