Cherry As Mrs. Mata

Every girl dreams of the perfect wedding just not the person.

I'm pretty sure I did not dream of growing up, getting married, and having such a toxic marriage.

Well it happened about 7 years ago I got out of a serious relationship with my high school boyfriend. I had zero plans just wanted to enjoy life. I was going to figure out everything as I went. Cherry became a certified pastry chef after graduating from high school. Cherry found herself back home, back where she grew up, grandma's house. I never paid attention to the neighbors I was always busy in my own little world. Things were great I was grown up, done with school I was ready to be single, have fun. Then the unexpected happened I paid attention to the idiot across the street.

Let's go back a bit, grew up in a small town with about 200 people, so we all sort knew each other, or at least got use to seeing each other around. A new person shows up to a small town everyone becomes curious. I had never seen him before so my curiously got the best of me. It was stupid love at first sight. Blah. Met him just went with it after all I was done with school, had no kids holding me back yet.

We traveled, had crazy fun adventures. Like every guy he promised me the world. Me being naive believed him, fell in love, took my vows serious played my role as a wife.

Let's talk about him a bit he was a criminal not a killer let me make that clear. I'm drawn to bad boys like most girls. I accepted him but that's not the tea, he was a father already to a little girl. First off that is huge to jump into a relationship all in, when they already have a child. It means that child becomes a part of your life, becoming a part of a child you didn't birth yourself is major. I knew I could handle it at some point I wanted to become a mother. He had a drug addiction which he told me when we first met also said he was working on recovering from it. So much baggage with this guy still I stupidly accepted him as is and went along with it.

I figured something out though I was more of a caring friend to him then a wife. That's how he saw me and what I understood from him. See I was a wife. Wife role is support thy husband, make a family, be a family, be 50/50 in everything, have each other's backs through thick and thin. I did it all, I know damn well I played my role as a wife to the T. He was just a broken soul that never left the drug, keep feeding me false dreams, stressed, hurt me emotionally every day. He was never there to help me raise the kids. I went through all four pregnancies alone. My last pregnancy I had major health issues was scared I was going to die giving birth. Luckily the baby and I are well to this day. I have raised, cared, support all our kids alone even while I was married to him. Why 4 kids? I was brainwashed by his words and fake emotions towards me. I didn't want my marriage to fail. Cherry only wanted one marriage, spend the rest of her life with that person go through life with them. I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or easy one. Cherry was young and settled on the first guy that proposed. He would have high paying jobs but his money was his money, not even the kids could touch his money. I had to beg him to give me money to buy our babies diapers, food. Imagine that. He always acted as though he had his own separate life. Let me just say when we first spoke to each other for the first time I made it very clear to him that we needed to establish what type of relationship this was. That way no one got hurt or confused. Clearly he lied to me.

During the marriage we augured a lot he would constantly belittle me make me feel like his salve. He would verbally abuse me every day. Nothing I did for him was ever right. I told him if you show me, tell how you want things done I will do it. He was stubborn expected me to be a perfect wife while he treated me like shit. Cherry was ride or die for him finally when she snapped out of being stupid. She walked away with her 4 kids and keep moving forward.

See you have to think of your well-being, your happiness, sounds selfish, but self-love is important. It's not healthy being in a toxic relationship where there is zero connection just fighting, make up sex was the only thing we had. I fell in love with his fake promises, fake emotions towards me. Men should take care of their women married or not be their rock, best friend, everything. Men you can't expect a woman to be your everything if you are only going to mistreat her. It goes both ways. Definitely lived and learned. Vow to never repeat this mistake. So far I'm doing well-being a strong independent mother.