Breakfast at Brittany’s

It’s been more than three years since my divorce. Three years of feeling empty inside, three years of being lost. Three years of still finding pieces of my life to fit back together. More than anything I just longed for somewhere to belong, someone to love me. Someone to make me feel whole. I divorced my husband because I was more than sure that I no longer enjoyed the company of a man. I needed something more concrete, I wanted someone who also wanted companionship, and nurturing, and who could reciprocate that more than a woman? Who could understand that words like ‘yes’ and ‘ok’ were not conversational pieces more than a woman?” He became uninterested, or he was just uninteresting. And here I was denying myself of my own sexuality. So I did it my lawyers drew up the paper work, and two months later I was a divorced, gay, woman. Yet still, 3 years later I lay in my bed depressed like always waiting for life to start. I don’t know what I was looking for in particular but I knew, that it would grasp my attention when it was time. I decided to get up and make myself breakfast. Breakfast is something that I haven’t physically done in a while, food in general is something that had barely graced my lips since my husband left home. There was no need for something so savory and sweet now that I’m alone, because nothing in my life is savory and sweet. I blamed myself for ruining something so perfect. We would always be what we needed to be, when we needed to be it. He just became so predictable, too dependable, too absent. Life was routine for him! He knew what to say even if it was robotic, he fit the mold. I no longer wanted to fit the mold. I needed growth! I needed chasing after, I wanted to know that I mattered! Not my status, my money, my mind, but my soul. I got out of my California king sized bed, and walked the cold teakwood floors that lined my penthouse apartment. The glass walls seemed so transparent into my body and mind, as if they told the sad story of a middle aged woman. The kitchen was big enough to host a grand dinner, but I had no one to fill it. “What shall I cook, what will I eat?” I have been filling my body with wine and ice cream, my body probably didn’t understand nourishment. I decided on an omelette. I looked in the fridge and all I could find was forty bottles of water that had probably a been there for months and a block of fresh farmed cheese. I battled with if I should go lie back in bed, or if I should drag my ass to the grocery store. I haven’t seen the inside of a grocery store in at-least two years. Normally my assistant Mandy does my shopping for me. But since it was Saturday and she had the day off I had to take care of myself. Riiinngg* I could hear my work phone ring miles away. I hated that my job was so demanding. I just wanted To draw into myself, without interruption. I threw on a cashmere Chanel sweater, grabbed a pair of lululemon tights and headed into the Manhattan air. The closest grocery store was Whole Foods. As my driver entered into the parking lot and parked the big black Escalade in front of the opened doors of the store my chest began to tighten. I dreaded walking in and having to put on a fake smile like my insides were not falling apart just as much as my life were. My driver Rodney handed me a pair of Chanel sunglasses, and gave me a shy smile through the rearview mirror. As if he was telling me everything was going to be ok. “Thank you,” he nodded and I opened the door and walked into the store. It was busy as always. Filled with PTA moms dressed for yoga, with nothing to do with their day, but judge any socialites that had a real life. I walked to the back of the dairy section and grabbed a carton of egg, and milk. Scanning the room for what’s next on my list I realized I needed turkey from the deli. The line was so long I went to survey the wines to grab two or three for later. On the top shelf there was one more bottle of Duckhorn Three Palms Vineyard Merlot! I had to have it! Normally you have to travel to Napa Valley to get this type of find. Reaching for the bottle I seen another small dainty hand with the wine colored fingernails headed for my treasure find. Before looking back I said “sorry excuse me, you should probably go find another choice, this is rather expensive.” She had a cute little chuckle that mocked me. “I am well aware of the price, but thank you for your concern.” I turned around and there she was. Sometimes you just know, you see someone and know everything they stand for, how great they are, how happy they could make you. She was tall and platinum blonde. She had to be just a baby, 25 maybe? She had green, that looked like God himself took a paint brush and hand painted specks of blue that could be confused for purple. Looking past her face I noticed her tight athletic body that must have hugged her soul. She smiled at me, “what’s your name?” She sung, “Taylor Avon, top designer of Taylor Von wedding gowns!” I introduced myself with the same manner as always, She laughed right in my face. “Is that your introduction? Do you feel as if you say how much money you make people will care?” She shifted her oversized Gucci from one should to the other. The bag was atleast worth 10,000 grand used. I stared at the bag because I didn’t know what to say. She was right, maybe I did feel that way. I was defeated, and humiliated. As soon as I try to interact it was a complete failed attempt. I handed her the wine, she wrapped her beautifully manicured fingers around the bottle as she tapped her flip flop on the tile floor. She looked at the bottle then, looked down at it as if she was in mid thought. “I’ll tell you what,” she looked up at me and sucked her teeth. “you’re really hot, I think you’re funny, how about I pay for it, and we drink it together?” The corners of my mouth curled into a smile. But I could also feel a fire in my vagina that needed to be put out. “What’s your name? I asked? “Brittany Seal, CEO of Sealed by Seal.” She was making fun of me. She stuck her hand out as if this was a business meeting. I laughed out loud, and free, gladly shaking her hand. “I’m headed out for breakfast at my favorite breakfast restaurant, you can join me, and we can pop this baby open to celebrate!” Whatever it is she wanted to get from me, she got it. She was smart, corky, allusive, funny, the list goes on. “What are we celebrating?” I asked her, she looked at the bottle of wine and spoke with her head down “meeting a new friend, and this great find of a bottle” She finished. Was she inviting me on a breakfast date? “Ok, I’ll follow you.” “No we can ride together” She flashed a pair of keys to an Audi. She walked with me to put my groceries back up in its proper place we paid for the wine, As we walked outside the day seemed much brighter than before. The sun felt like it was filling me with its rays of energy, as if I was being recharged, instead of shining unwanted light into my darkness. As Rodeny pulled to the front of the store, I gave him instructions to follow behind. He smiled really big and nodded. She and I walked to her car and it was a periwinkle blue Audi coupe, looked just like something I’d thought she drive. She watched me stare at her very noticeable car choice. I looked up and she was studying me. “Whats the difference between my car and your very flashy car? They are both conversation pieces that screams rich. Mine just screams care free, and yours screams too many problems.” She keeps insulting me with the truth. “I had a car just like this when I was your age, but mine was red.” She smiled and turned red when she realized she read my face all wrong, now it was her turn to put her foot in her mouth. “When is the last time you drove?” She asked. I pondered on that, before I could answer, she walked over to me and told me to drive her car. Placing the keys in my hand, it was the second time we touched, and at that moment I wish her fingers were else where. Shaking off the thought I occupied my mind by getting over in the driver seat and immediately felt alive. I could feel her blushing at me from the next seat. She typed in the directions to her favorite breakfast spot ‘Over Easy Momosas’ and we were off! She sat silent the entire ride. Probably soaking it all in, because I knew I was. The ride was silent but not awkward . We were at peace, no need for fillers, just feeling each other’s energy. We pulled into valet and they she was greeted as if she owned the establishment. Immediately. The place was buzzing with people, I did not know if we were going to be able to find a table. A man with his hair gelled into a high pony walked out, dressed in a black suit and greeted Brittany a if she was the the person funding the establishment. “Ms. Brittany! It’s always lovely to see you here, I see you have a guest, May I offer a private sector for breakfast, or would you prefer something else?” She hugged the man, and told him she needed the sector. “Can you also get this chilled for me?” She asked so sweetly, the man grinned after seeing the bottle,” “This must be some special friend!” He left in a hurry with our bottle, and a woman lead us upstairs to a room. As we walked in the places buzzed with morning banter, and the walls were white bricked. Each table had beautiful vases filled with chilled water, and white roses in an overdrawn hung bouquet that hung from the mini chandeliers. There was so much light filling the place it didn’t need much decor. We were lead upstairs down a hall, the walls were bricked as well but with a cherry cement, our waitress opened a huge heavy door and my eyes lit up. It had a grand table that went from wall to wall, and a veranda with a smaller table. In the corner there was a fully stocked bathroom with a shower, and a 75 inch tv, that took control of the entire wall facing the veranda. Speakers filled the corners of the room. There were paintings of beautiful sad art on the bricks, that told stories of chaos, and triumph, and love. It told the story of life beautifully. “Brittany looked at me, have you ever seen something so grand?” I shook my head no. She grabbed something out of the bowl that sat on the big wooden table and turned on a little music. Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat drifted into the room, making its presence into the energy. “What were you buying those eggs for in the store?” She asked, I found my voice “I was going home to make an omelet.” I stammered. The waitress who was waiting patiently in the door way spoke up “and for you Ms. Brittany? The usual?” Brittany nodded and the young lady was off. I went to the restroom to gather myself. Just this morning I didn’t want to get out of bed, and now I’m in a beautiful breakfast nook with a beautiful woman! I could smell the Roses oil fussing through the unlit candles that dressed the decor in the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, suddenly dissatisfied with my choice of clothes, and laziness with my unkept hair, and took off the shades that was once supposed to make me feel invisible. “You’re ready for this.” I whispered to myself, I tried so hard to believe it. Examining myself in the mirror, I had beautiful brown skin even under stress held it’s natural glass and blemish free structure. I took a deep breath and opened the door. The room has been filled with bold sunflowers, and roses, The bottle of wine had been put on ice, with a glass pitcher of sparkling fresh squeezed Orange juice. One of the flutes were missing and I knew Brittany was the culprit. I poured a glass of Merlot, and joined her out on the balcony. The wind blew and it was the first time I took in her scent. It was citrusy, with a little cinnamon and vanilla. She smelled so good and natural. “Isn’t it beautiful?” She broke the silence. I used to come here and just think, not even eat my food. I struggled in the beginning with my sexuality, my dad dying never knowing who I was, and I couldn’t live another day fighting and going to war with myself. I was the heir to the company he built. So I do that to make him proud and for me.” I watched her as she relived that part of her life. It has to be hard to open up to a complete stranger and just become so transparent. She looked at me. I don’t know if it was for e to judge, or just to see how I was retaining the information she poured. I cleared my throat and spoke. “I think I just exist sometimes.” I admitted, I’ve went my entire life just being what I thought I was supposed to be, eventually I was so unhappy I had to stop . And Now I don’t know if that was the right decision.” She listened so carefully before she spoke. “Everything that most people for themselves, you have someone to do for you. Drive, cook, clean, and whatever else. Did it not feel good to get out and be amongst people today? People you don’t have on payroll?” I laughed, and looked down into the crowd of New Yorkers that strolled the strip. Our food had arrived and it was placed on the outside table, behind us. The egg white omelets topped with fresh tomatoes , onion and celery and sprinkled with cheese looked amazing, a broken yolk also sat comfortably on top of two pieces of whole wheat toast. I looked back at Brittany, finished my glass and responded. “We will see,” she smirked as we sat and ate. We talked about childhood, my failed marriage, her coming out, me never having children, and our jobs. She gave so much wisdom it was like she had lived this life before. She loved her father, not really close to her mother, and loved adventures. I could listen to her all day! As we sipped on the delicate blends of cherry notes and aged barrel. The glass of Merlot turned into three, and soon the bottle had one more share left. We forgot our cups and took turns sipping from the bottle. As we loosened up. So did the conversation, we moved the conversation to inside, as we talked about what we wanted in a next partner, and sexual encounters with other women. I shared my secret that I haven’t slept with a woman in 12 years. She was perplexed, never understood how I could go so long denying myself of that pleasure we both craved. I was sure my truth had her more turned on then concerned. She touched my inner thigh. It was like instantly my body began to feel unstable, and a tingle crept down into my most intimate part. She noticed the instant change of mood. And waited for an reaction. I had none. I wanted so badly to taste the remaining Merlot on her lips. To feel her soft cinnamon fragranced skin, to have the parts that made us a woman intertwined. “I’m sorry, the Merlot has definitely taken over me.” I confessed. “What spell does it have you under? What is it telling you to do?” She responded without her eyes leaving my lips, and her hand slowly making its way to the middle of my tights. Thank God I didn’t wear underwear. I wanted to feel her soft fingers tease me. I went for a kiss, spilling over the pitcher of orange juice all over our laps. Humiliated I spring into action cleaning my mess forgetting all about the steam that she and I produced. She laughed and called for someone to clean the mess. I jumped up soaked in the liquid vitamin C and so was she. “I’m really sorry, I don’t know how that happened I..” before I could finish groveling She had taken her shirt off, two beautiful soft milky beast bounced in place. “Let’s shower?” I couldn’t speak, but the fire that was burning inside my tights was suddenly back that the OJ had temporarily put out. I texted Rodney and asked him to get two sets of sweats from Mandy. And followed her into the shower. Her tight long body looked even better wet. I was memorized watching the water ripple down her frame, she stood in front of me, facing me Waiting for me to enter the shower. I didn’t want to ruin this moment with sex but I wanted to have her here and now! She pulled me into the soaked shower and planted herself against me. Her lips tasted as she smelled, before too long you couldn’t tell where she began and I ended. Her fingers strummed my body as if I was a guitar. For me it was a bit like driving the car, something I haven’t done in a while, but definitely freeing. I felt her erupt as I had, 20 minutes ago, and we sat there silent both taken by the moment. “You’re beautiful,” She whispered. In that moment I felt she really meant it. We toweled off, and went into the dinning room dressed in our towels, two pairs of black Dior tights and matching jackets lay out on top of the table, with a huge bowl freshly chopped fruit. We sat on the floor sharing the bowl of fruit before getting dressed. She laid her head in my lap and shared with me how perfect this morning had been. I wanted to see her again. Before I could ask she asked me about Tuesday for breakfast again. I smiled “This time, my place?” She made me want to make breakfast for her. We shared a kiss got dressed and headed back downstairs. The hustle of the restaurant has fell silent, and we headed for the cars. When Rodney arrived, we both beamed if excitement for me. “Rodney I want to drive!” He let out the biggest burst of laughter I’ve ever heard escape his lips, and opened the door to allow me inside the drivers seat. I instructed him to sit in the passenger seat as we both sat in silence On the journey home. I smiled a smile that was so intoxicating. Let down the Windows as Speak by Jhené Aiko surround us in the big vehicle. I was now feeling recharged, full, and optimistic. I wanted to take charge of myself, Brittany was good for me, What a Saturday.