Being Single in your 30s

Dating has changed so much over the years, with everything mostly virtual and so many sites being known for hookups only. I am not here to judge anyone, if you're into just hooking up that is okay! I however should have been born in another generation because for some reason I am still a hopeless romantic. Doesn't exactly go well in a hookup culture. My most recent conversation with a guy on a dating app. has brought me to writing this story today.

For once it was actually a decent conversation, something I wasn't expecting. This did however lead me to reevaluating what I am looking for, as well as realizing how different my situation is compared to a lot of single people my age. Me and this guy began talking a lot about music, as we are both music lovers. As the conversation went on I began finding out that he did have two young kids which he had full time custody of. He was also still going through a divorce that had been on going for almost 3 years.

All of these things are fine, but for some reason it all overwhelmed me. I don't have kids so it was hard for me to understand all resposibilites that come with it. Then due to his divorce he said he never wanted to get married agian. While marriage has never been a big deal to me it made me think what if one day I wanted that. I know how it sounds why are you worried about all of these things when all you were doing was talking? Well for me these days I just don't want to waste anyones time, or have them waste mine.

A lot of people have told me that if they were truly the right person than none of those things would matter to me. Maybe that is true, but I am just finding it difficult to date considering that my situation is drastically different from most my age. Have any of you exerinced this in dating? Sometimes I feel so alone in how I am feeling when it comes to this. Sometimes I feel like I am turning into Bridgett Jones, which isn't a bad thing I love her!

So how has dating changed for me from my 20s to 30s? For me personally its been online dating. Back in my 20s dating apps weren't a thing, and it just felt so much easier to meet people in person. I have friends that even back in the early/mid 00s that would just meet people from Myspace and Yahoo chats. At the time I was meeting people through friends and at concerts so I meet alot of my boyfriends that way. So when everything began shifting, I wasn't really sure how to navigate things.

The dates that I have had from dating apps have been horriable. Everything from conversation being bad or the person not being who they were in their profile. I've also noticed that in the talking process being behind a screen gives people confidence to say some pretty outragous things. I have also noticed that most people don't take relationships seriously for multiple reasons.

All in all while dating in my 30s kinda sucks, and is so different from my 20s I am thankful for so many things. One is learning to love myself again, and knowing my worth. Another is knowing that I'll be okay and happy on my own regardless of having a relationship. I spent many years thinking that if I just had a relationship I would feel happier. I learned the hard way that wasn't true. As a society we've all been raised to think you need to be married and have a family to achieve happiness and that just isn't the case for everyone.

For me personally I have found a lot of happiness in being single, even in my lonliest times. This is something that I didn't think was possiable when I first became single. I tried so hard to find someone because that is something I thought I needed to do. I can say being in my 30s dating takes on a whole new meaning and that is waiting for the right person, and not feeling like I NEED someone. That being said I will continue about my life, and I know I'll meet the right person one day.

How do you feel about dating now days?