Autism Awareness

Autism: what is it? Why should you care? Well, I’ll try my best to explain.

Something I’ve noticed about people who don’t have autism, a lot of them have opinions on autism that are untrue or exaggerated, or don’t know what it is all together. And this includes a lot of people who claim to be “autistic professionals” or people who “studied autism.” So for autism awareness month, I’ve decided to attempt to explain autism from the perspective of somebody who actually has autism. Me. And no, I’m not Temple G! (Her diagnosis was Aspergers but that’s now part of ‘Autism spectrum disorder or ASD, fyi! Like Temple, however, we both had the same original diagnoses before we were lumped into one category.)

Everyone should care about autism because most of us know or have encountered at least one person with autism in there lives. And since we should all try our best to understand each others differences and value them, you should too! You should treat us how you want to be treated.

So, the first thing I’d like to go over is stupid things people say to me that absolutely drive me insane. And I don’t use the word ‘stupid’ lightly, because like most people with autism, I got made fun of in school and one of the many lovely things the kids liked to call me was ‘stupid’ because I was ‘different.’

First, sometimes people hassle me about why I ‘can’t do a certain task faster or correctly,’ because even though I always ALWAYS learn how to do the task, sometimes it takes a little longer. I learn through repetition, doing something over and over until I get it right, but once I learn I excel at the task. So I explain “I have autism, so I just need to be shown how to do the task a few extra times,” and I can’t tell you how many people have said to me, “Really? You don’t seem like you have autism…” like, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT PEOPLE WITH AUTISM TO ACT LIKE? Am I supposed to be walking around singing Disney songs and drooling? (which yes, sadly, this an actual stereo type of autistic people!) like, when people say this, I’m like, “are you serious right now?” Like you literally just asked me why I couldn’t learn the task like a “normal person” so you knew I wasn’t normal, and after I told you why, you don’t believe me? Seriously? So to all those who want to say the same, cut it out! You know we’re not normal, stop stereo typing autistic people to be drooling, singing idiots. WE ARE NOT. Einstein had autism, as did Nikola Tesla, Lewis Carol, and several other successful BRILLIANT people. We are NOT drooling idiots. So next time you want to say “you don’t seem like you have autism,” check yourself. For real!

The second thing I hate is when people say, “look me in the eye.” Another “stereo type” of people with autism is that we can’t or won’t look people in the eyes because we’re socially inept. I for one KNOW it’s polite to look people in the eye and try my best to do so. A LOT of people still say this to me anyway, even after I’ve been looking them in the eyes for long periods of time. A perfect example of this is when someone was talking to me about signing up for a class (and yes she was aware I had autism and fully aware of the stereo type, because everyone in this particular place had autism except for the allegedly ‘trained’ staff, so she should have known better.) This person handed me paper work, and I thought I was being ‘courteous’ by looking at the paperwork she just handed me so I could see what she wanted me to fill out. But she instead said “Alex, look me in the eye. Can you do that? Can you look me in the eye?” That’s what I HAD been doing while she was talking to me. Like, how am I supposed to “look you in the damn eyes” AND look at the paper work you literally just handed me? So stop telling people with autism to look you in the eye. Most of us know we should, and we either will or we won’t. Deal with it!

The third thing I hate isn’t a specific phrase, it’s baby talk. Yes, baby talk. A lot of times when people find out I have autism, they start talking to me as they would a baby, and use a higher pitched silly voice and say something along the lines of “oh that’s great” or “how you doing, buddy.” If you say that to me, I’m NOT your buddy, pal. This is condescending and rude, we’re not babies and we’re not idiots. We’re successful inventors (Einstein) published writers (Lewis Carol) engineers, cashiers, chefs, pilots, lawyers, doctors, and successful people in any other career you can imagine. We’re as smart as the rest of you who don’t have autism, we just learn and act differently. We are not stupid and we don’t have “baby brains.” So, stop that. Stop the baby talk. Thanks. It’s annoying and disrespectful.

Lastly, I’ll share an experience I had growing up, that many people on the autism spectrum share. I got made fun of CONSTANTLY growing up, bullied both verbally and physically. I got called every name under the Sun, freak, loser, idiot, stupid. I had kids (and some adults later on) take money from me only to tell me I’m a loser and ask me why anyone would want to be my friend. I had people throw me to the ground and beat the crap out of me. And the worst part was, when I said something to the “adults and authority’s,” they’d either say “prove it” or the parents would come in saying “you can’t prove anything. My perfect, wonderful child would never bully somebody.” A few of the parents even came in with lawyers and threatened to sue the school if they punished there bully kid because there “was no evidence” aside from my black eye and the tears dripping down my face. So a lot of people with autism grow up NOT trusting authority figures for this reason! So please, if you’re a teacher, teach your students not to tease or harass people who “act different.” Suspend or expel them if they do bully. And if you’re a parent, please, raise your damn kids better. Please stop acting like they’re perfect little angels and would never bully. They’re far from perfect. While a lot of kids are good, a lot of them are the spawn of Satan. They need discipline and to be told bullying is NOT ok, not ever, not even once. If your kids accused of being a bully, maybe he or she is. Try some discipline or at least tell your kid to fix his or her atrocious behavior.

The last thing I’ll say is I got called “stupid” a lot growing up. Now I’m a published writer who in addition to getting a couple “top stories” on vocal, which I’m very proud of, I’ve been published in the Sierra Club newspaper (which went out to hundreds of thousands of people) for a few environmental articles I wrote, I have won prizes and been published in other short story competitions, and got an award for my poetry in my high school newspaper. So clearly, those people who called me stupid were wrong. If you are reading this and you don’t have autism, know that we are not stupid. Just because we act and learn different does NOT mean we are stupid. Just look at my accomplishments, or Einstein, or Lewis Carol. If you are reading this and have autism, don’t give up! Don’t ever give up! Know that you’re smart, you can learn, and you can be successful at doing whatever you set your mind too!

I’m updating this to include one of my favorite quotes by Arthur Fleck: “The worst part of having a mental illness is everyone expects you to act like you don’t…”