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Why Foreplay is Slowly Becoming a Thing of the Past

As times change, sex changes along with them.

By Anne St. MariePublished 6 years ago 1 min read
Foreplay? Or sex?

Foreplay. The word quickly brings to mind a certain couple and situation . . . usually, a man taking a few minutes to ‘warm up’ his lady before the actual act of penetration, perhaps with slow and indulgent kissing, a sensual massage, a little delicate fingering, or even a saucily-applied vibrator. Sometimes oral sex is included under the ‘foreplay’ banner as well. Nothing like an enthusiastic blowjob before the main event, or perhaps some toe-curling cunnilingus. Anything to get everybody fully and utterly aroused before the P. goes in the V.

That ‘traditional’ model up there has been around for quite a while, but it ---- and, indeed, the concept of foreplay in general ---- is slowly becoming a relic of the past. Why? Well, one significant reason lies in the growing visibility of LGBT+ couples. If two women, in the process of getting hot ‘n’ heavy, have a heated and desperate makeout session followed by tearing off each others’ clothes and finishing each other off with oral pleasure and digital penetration, you won’t find too many people protesting the fact that they’ve just had sex.

If it's sex when you're two women . . .

These ladies almost certainly aren't looking to have 'foreplay'.

The same with a gay couple leading each other to orgasm through blowjobs, handjobs, or any other method of non-penetrative sex. Sure, these are ‘foreplay’ activities, but here they’re just ‘sex’. What happens if a male/female couple do the same?

Or two men . . .

Same with these gents ---- 'let's have foreplay' is probably not the primary thought on their minds.

Or, with the growing popularity of toys, what if the orgasm is happened upon in the context of a heated couple's encounter, but through mechanical rather than flesh and blood means? Is it sex if the couple in question happily orgasm during PIV (penis in vagina) sex, but not sex if she reaches a loud and enthusiastic climax on a wielded-by-him vibrator, while he himself comes apart under her fingers? What if the second version actually feels better for both parties?

There are a lot of stories out there (heck, they may even be the majority) of frustrated women who find themselves unable to come during PIV sex . . . but would most likely be able to do so during the scenario described above. And, especially with the recent focus on more equal pleasure, an increasing number of couples are turning in that direction.

It's also sex when you're a woman and a man.

Item #1 on the list: sex. Traditional or no, but definitely sex.

Foreplay it may have been considered in the past, but more and more those activities are coming to simply be considered sex. Whatever your orientation or genital configuration, something that gets everybody involved happily and passionately to their respective climaxes is a definite something to repeat, whether solo or combined with more traditional penetration. Really, it just depends on what the partners in question enjoy best. Hey, maybe you do enjoy traditional PIV over all, but your partner doesn’t. Having the concept of what constitutes ‘sex’ expanded can only help on your quest for ultimate pleasure all ‘round.

So yes, the concept of foreplay itself might be slowly fading off into the distance, but the techniques involved aren’t going anywhere. In fact, they’re here to stay, they’re here to get even more fun (with new tips, tricks, and devices being innovated each and every day), they’re here to become more widespread, and they’re here to take a level up in importance. Goodbye to warming-up foreplay . . . hello to red-hot sex.

sex toyseroticfeaturefeminismhumanitylgbtqrelationshipssexual wellness

About the Creator

Anne St. Marie

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