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Doing to Do For the First Time

Talking about my first time having sex.

By J.C. MariePublished 7 years ago 4 min read

Sex is a topic that surrounds us. From TV to ads online to porn websites, there is no escaping the influence of sex on the everyday American's life. Therefore, when I had sex for the first time, I found myself comparing and contrasting my experience with the expectations society has forced upon me. With that in mind, here are some things I noticed during my first time I had sex. Disclaimer: all of these are based off my own personal experience and may not reflect what you have experienced. With that in mind, let's go.

First, let's discuss noises.

One of which, for me, was moaning. If you have ever watched a sex scene on TV or movies or in porn, then you know what I am talking about. Those over exaggerated moans that happen continuously from start to finish and only seem to increase in volume as you go on. When my boyfriend and I were having sex, sure, we moaned every now and then, but it was nowhere near as often as one might expect it to happen. At first I felt like I should constantly be moaning, but when I realized he wasn't either, I felt comfortable enough to just do what came naturally to me as I continued rocking on his dick. Furthermore, we ended up laughing more than we did moaning because we were both trying to figure things out and were a bit unsure. So don't be offended by laughing. It can help make what can sometimes be an awkward and uncomfortable experience more comfortable for you both.

Second, let's talk about pain.

There is a common myth in a lot of media that the first sexual experience for a woman involves pain. I am here to say that is not necessarily true. While I am sure it can happen, it would likely be for reasons such as the woman not being aroused or your partner being too rough. Pain is not a requirement of your first time, and you are not weird if you do not experience pain.

Third, length means nothing.

I love my boyfriend and his dick. And he isn't exactly nine inches long. A longer dick doesn't necessarily mean more pleasure. Honestly, it could sometimes means less. As long as you are with a person you want to be with and are both looking to have a good time, the sex will be good regardless of length.

Fourth, orgasms may not necessarily happen.

In porn and on TV, orgasms are a given regardless of the person or situation. However, reality is not as perfect and idealistic. As it is, I only orgasm from clitoral stimulation. With that in mind, clitoral stimulation can be a little difficult while having sex. So no, I did not come while we were fucking, and there is nothing wrong with that. Orgasms are not a necessity when having sex. While they are nice, no one should expect them, especially on the first time when you are just getting the hang of it. Maybe in the future I will have one from penetrative sex, and maybe not, but it is okay no matter what.

Fifth, and finally, it is time to address positions.

So when I pictured sex, I always imaged we would do it missionary style. However, it ended up being more cowgirl. My advice is, just go with the flow. Don't let hang ups of expectations get in the way. You may picture it one way in your head, but that may not be the way it happens, and there is nothing wrong with that. Eventually you will likely try out that position, so is it really that important if it happens your first time? I can't lie, I was self-conscious being on top at first. However, I got the hang of it pretty quick and just went with the flow.

I think that is the biggest advice I have: go with the flow, don't overthink it and try and force expectations and ideas of what it should be on the experience. Sex can be a wonderful experience, and it should be for everyone. Part of that is letting it happen as it does and working with your partner to have a wonderful experience together. As long as you are happy with you are with and you both have a good time, you shouldn't have any problems.

advicehow torelationshipssexual wellness

About the Creator

J.C. Marie

J.C. is a graduate student who enjoys music, love, and cats.

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