The Long Con
For L.C. Schäfer's Fucked Up Fairytales - An Unofficial Challenge (word count: 366)
Evening arrived on the backs of the dwarves. Those bloody dodgers came out, singing, bringing the party. Hadn't bathed in days, but they came prepared. They traveled on foot, the seven of them, carrying pickaxes, hammers, head lamps, and climbing rope. The two at the rear carried more boom sticks than anyone had dared to bring within three clips of the Queen in a stone's age. The middling two wheeled a vat of snowy white hooch they called mineshine.
The dark web, operated by Charlotte and her gang, plotted the long con, tapping out instructions to their inside man, ahem, woman. Told her to expect to be called "Ho" a lot, but to get over it. If she played her cards right, she'd be swimming in luxury by the end of the season. The dwarves, see, they were on a mission from God.
Cindy had it all. Golden looks, singing, dancing, patience. She'd already earned quite the rep. Art theft. She'd gotten cozy with Vincent, a star-gazing knight of the realm, who couldn't tell his Manet from his Monet. From there, the world was her oyster, complete with Girl with a Pearl Earring.
"Coming, Stepmother." Cindy acquiesced.
"As you wish, Stepsisters." She smiled through her disgust.
"Course, I can chop more wood." Whatever it took. She was a player.
Oh, she was brilliant. Had the locals eating out of her hands. The birds were industrious, but the real hookup came from foxes, squirrel, and deer. Simply put, they knew people. Not like they knew his name. But they all called him "Mr. Bean." He sold a few -- pumpkin spice coach with exploder ring add-on -- to Fairy Godmother for a cow, and some muscle relaxers for his nutter sciatica, and the rest was cake. Wedding cake.
Cindy crushed in Sleeping Beauty's wedding gown. "It's not like she was going to use it," the princess said whilst slipping off her glass Jimmy Choos.
As for the prince, he slept in a van, down by the river, happily ever after.
*
Copyright © 04/06/2024 by Christy Munson. All rights reserved.
*
This microfiction was created for L.C. Schäfer's Fucked Up Fairytales - An Unofficial Challenge. Word count: 366.
This fun little mix up features players from the following fairytales:
• Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Can you spot the other Easter eggs? If so, mention them in Comments!
* * * * * * * * * * *
Dearest Reader,
If you enjoyed my writing, please like, comment, and or add your insights. Thank you! I also invite you to read more of my stories and poetry whenever you have time. Your interest lets me know my writing connects.
If you'd enjoy being alerted when I publish new material, consider subscribing. If you really fell head over heels, I'd relish a Tip! Keeps me in coffee while I work my magic.
I also strongly encourage you to check out other writers on Vocal. Talent abounds. You can find recs in my Welcome article.
Thank you for reading!
About the Creator
Christy Munson
My words expose what I find real and worth exploring.
Top Stories: 🥳
Unofficial Challenge Winners:
Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.
Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Keep reading
More stories from Christy Munson and writers in Fiction and other communities.
On my way
I walked for hours. Until I couldn't feel my feet. Until I couldn't feel the blisters borne of worn-out threads that once held. I walk until my soles weep, and my soul shakes, and I shuddered to think. I walk until I convince myself I can no longer feel my heart shattering, even as the last shards of winter's light fall to the forest floor, a dizzying array of starlight pooling at my feet.
By Christy Munson3 months ago in Fiction
Comments (5)
Hahahahahahahaha this was like a fever dream! I freaking enjoyed it. I didn't spot any other Easter eggs though 😅
Haha! Christy! You’re on fire! Do many clever references…. Love Charlotte’s (dark) web. Great stuff.
Wonderfull story full of creativity really admire your writing skills
Christy, this was completely wonderful, like Alice in the WONDERland kind. So creative and loved how the prince slept happily ever after. Was the "mineshine" the Easter eggs?
I loved this, Christy. But I'm embarrassed to admit that I did not catch the Charlotte's web or Jack and the Beanstalk shout outs (I blame the latter on the goofy image of Rowan Atkinson's face that appeared in my mind when you mentioned Mr. Bean but have no excuse for the former). Naturally, I caught all of the art references to include Vincent Van Gogh since I love him, the impressionists and Vermeer (Girl with the pearl earing is one of my favorite paintings). I'm guessing I missed the other Easter eggs even after reading this three times! Mineshine is a hoot, Bytheway! My wife and I attended the incredible Van Gogh exhibit when it was at the National Gallery in DC in the early 90s. Starry Night is a monolithic canvas. The show was the best we ever saw there (and we've seen some incredible ones). But Starry night in person took our breath away.