Good Ol’ Quality Time

Birthday presents were never my thing, to me the concept was all materialistic and no meaning. If anything, I preferred sentimental gifts; quality time was always better than stuff. But when my buddy texted me saying that something was arriving at my apartment later, I groaned.

When I finally got home, I saw a large box blocking my doorway. Leaning over it grumpily, I unlocked and opened my door, awkwardly shoved the box inside. I didn’t even want to open the damn thing, or my eyes this morning for that matter, but I guess I was curious.

Opening the box, I carefully reached in trying to feel under the packing peanuts. I felt something almost…smooth. Then, it started humming.

“Touch recognition activated, TouchBot recalibrating, body expanding”

I yanked my hand away instantly and watched as this being rose out, packing peanuts shedding like confetti to a buff and totally bare body.

“I am TouchBot, your intimate companion who dutifully fulfills your wants and needs. Please state your name.”

I was utterly shocked. What the fuck was this? I gulped and let out a “Sol.”

“Hi Sol, based on your first touch, I have finished processing your memories and have created a short list of names that activate you. Please choose from the following to be my name: Sammy, Pauly, BigDaddy9, Jason Mamoa, Jesus Fuck, and Lionel. Please choose now, or I can repea-”

“Jesus Fuck! What is this?”

“Hi Sol, my name is Jesus Fuck!” the bot said, stepping out of the box, displaying its full body. It’s very naked and packin’ body. “It’s nice to meet you, may I come touch you?”

I panicked as it began advancing. What the heck is this thing? Why was it so realistic? Why was it’s dong practically winking at me? I knew birthdays were a bad idea, why did I even have friends anymore? How did this robot process all those names just from me touching it!?

I whipped out my phone from my pocket to a text that read, “Happy birthday bro, I know you always wanted some quality time, now you’ll have lots!”

So L.C. Schäfer had a prompt challenge where she wanted someone to write her a story about a sex robot. Here ya go L.C.~

And remember friends, even robots ask for consent first~