Diary of a Caregiver: Confession #1

Waiting for the Bus

I've been my mom's 24/7 caregiver since November 2020 (overall I've been her caregiver since April 2013). It all began around noon on Tuesday November 10, 2020.

I went to work as normal on Tuesday morning. My brother, Chris, worked an early morning part-time job so he could be with my mom before I left for my job. As usual I called the house at 2:45 pm, from work, so I could talk with my mom while on lunch break. My brother answered the phone and after I asked to speak with mom, he said, "I don't think you should talk with her." I asked him why. He told me that she was sitting on the edge of her bed thinking that she's at a bus stop waiting for a bus to take her home. I asked him to give the phone to Mom so I could talk with her. Sure enough when I spoke with her she thought she was waiting for a bus to pick her up and take her home. She said that she had been waiting for a very long time and was hoping that she didn't miss the bus. This shook me up. I was rattled. I immediately got up from the break table and went and spoke with the manager on duty to let them know I had to go home because there was something very wrong with my mom. I left that afternoon and never went back to work.

Figuring Out What Was Going On With My Mom

The first thing I did when I got home was to sit with my mom and talk with her. But she was in a state of mind I had never seen before. She was seeing people that weren't there. She kept thinking she was sitting at a bus stop waiting for a bus that would take her home. I was devastated. My mom was hallucinating.

It was now around 4:00 pm and I called my mom's doctor. Of course, I got her message service and they took a detailed message. But since it was close to the end of the day, I knew I probably wouldn't get a call until the following day. As expected the doctor called back on Wednesday afternoon. I described what was going on in detail. By now my mom was talking back to the people she was seeing. The doctor told me the obvious, that she was hallucinating. She said that we would figure this out by doing a process of elimination.

The Process of Elimination

The doctor began with a round of questions. She asked me if my mom was urinating more than normal. I said, "It does not seem as though she is." She asked me if she was running a fever or experiencing any pain when she urinates. I answered no to both questions. She asked a few more questions along the same lines and ruled out the possibility of it being a urinary tract infection that was causing the hallucinations.

Next the doctor had me discontinue giving my mom a prescribed diabetes medication called glipizide. She explained that sometimes an elderly person can experience hallucinations when the glucose level gets too low. So, I stopped giving my mom the glipizide. After a few days the hallucinations became worse and worse and my mom's blood pressure was erratic, running high one moment then tanking very low the next. My poor mom was very frightened as were my brother and me.

Prescribing a Medication

Now, on day seven with the hallucinations and agitation getting progressively worse the doctor concluded that this was happening because my mom was sleep deprived. She ended up prescribing a medication called Seroquel. Seroquel among other things helps to decrease anxiety and calm your thoughts. The first dose I gave her was horrible. The side effects were very strong. My mom became dizzy, and she kept saying that her heart was beating too fast and that she felt like she was going to die. Her face turned red, and she said she was scared. I did not give that to her again. The side effects far outweighed any benefits.

The Big Decision

Day eight arrives and my mom is progressively getting worse. My brother and I talked about taking our mom to the hospital. We agreed to let her get a good night's sleep and if in the morning she did not show any improvement we would take her to the hospital.

Morning comes around and it's November 19, 2020 which also happens to be my mom's 84th birthday. Surprisingly she woke up seemingly normal. She went downstairs to the kitchen, and we had breakfast and all. But within two hours the hallucinations came back full force and once again my mom was very scared and agitated. But my brother and I really hesitated in taking her to the hospital because we knew that she would not want us to take her. The idea of taking her felt like we would be betraying her. So, my brother and I agreed one last time that if the hallucinations continued the next morning, we would take her to the hospital.

November 20th came around and our mom slept until three in the afternoon. When she woke up, she seemed okay. But that only lasted about an hour or so.

At 5:00pm my brother and I helped our mom get dressed. It was cold outside so we wanted to make sure she would be adequately dressed. We explained to her that we were taking her to the hospital so they could figure out what was going on with her. Fortunately, she agreed so we got her in the car and off we went.

"Diary of a Caregiver: Confession #2" Click Here

This will be a multi-part series. I will have Confession #3 coming in the next week or so.