Dealing with marriage breakdown

Marriage breakdown is the most painful and difficult challenge anyone can experience in their lifetime. Trying to manage and deal with a broken marriage is like having to physically hold together the broken and crushed pieces of a broken marble statue that have been put back together without any glue. Even at the best of times, it's a balancing act indeed, and a creepy one at that

Ending a long-term or short-term marriage can bring up all sorts of emotions and issues that can overwhelm and ruin a person.

Dealing with a recent divorce can even make you question yourself, your confidence, and your self-esteem, and make you wonder if you are good enough to be anyone's partner, spouse, or wife again. It can make you feel desperate, worthless, and unwanted as a human being as well. No one can be devastated by the breakup of a marriage without having to deal with financial loss, emotional roller coaster, physical stress, legal proceedings, and legal consequences. Even the strongest people in the world can be crushed under the emotional weight of a devastating breakup. When the issue becomes a personal attack on your character, personality, well-being, and psyche, your mind also plays games with you - What did I do wrong? How come I didn't see this happening? Why are they lying to me? Am I not good enough? No t I good-looking enough? Is it something I said or didn't say? Was it something I did or didn't do? How could they do this to me? Why am I not good enough? Do I think they love me? Am I a horrible person? Is it my fault? What could I have done differently to prevent this from happening in my marriage? My God, what would people think? Did I cause my marriage to fail? Is it all my fault?

Just for now, allow yourself to step back, take a deep breath, and put these questions aside for a moment. Get control of yourself and make sure you feel confident and secure in yourself. If you are unhappy and are experiencing severe depression and despairing thoughts, or if you want to hurt yourself or others, you must seek immediate medical help. Take a timeout for yourself. Think about what you are actively trying to do with your life right now, rather than blaming yourself for the breakdown of your marriage. Don't deny or refuse to believe what has happened; procrastination won't make things easier; it may make them worse. Decide if you want to save your marriage and talk to your partner. If your partner expresses his or her feelings, the idea, and the desire to end it or work it out and fix it, this is your signal to take action. It will give you a clearer idea of which direction your relationship is going and whether it is worth saving or destined to end peacefully.

Also, try not to get consumed by your emotions, even though things are getting tough. The breakup of a marriage is one of the most catastrophic things that can happen in anyone's life. It affects not only the unfortunate couple but also friends and family. They find it hard to get through it at first, but pick themselves up and many, even couples, emerge on the other side as stronger, happier, more confident people.

If you have children, you should always protect them, especially the young ones. They are the innocent victims of a broken marriage. Explaining to them what is happening in the simplest way possible will not confuse or worry them during this unfortunate time. If there is disagreement over who gets the children, seek legal advice immediately and try to keep any issues regarding custody, confidentiality, and closed doors confidential. Your child does not need to see or hear you discuss these things until a positive outcome is achieved. Seeking the help of a therapist to advise you on how to talk to your children about your situation is a wise decision.

Dealing with the breakdown of a marriage can be devastating on many levels. Be sure to slow down and take all the time you need to care for and look after yourself. Don't allow yourself to dissipate mentally, be physically exhausted, or mentally drained. No matter how gut-wrenching it all seems right now, it won't be this bad in the long run. If you need to, take baby steps, one day at a time, one hour a day, on your way back from a marriage breakdown. You'll get through it and hopefully become a stronger, better, more confident person.