"LIES YOUR NARCISSISTIC EX TELLS TO DEMEAN YOU"

I am editing this on January 19, 2025 to include this statement I will be written at the top of certain stories.

This is not all about me. I author these stories about abuse to helpn others see the dilemma of being involved with people. This story and many other stories are authored by me to inform people about these psycholigical issues of relationships. There are times I "I" because the story was written in 1st person scenario. "I" does not always mean that it's about me. I am 75 years old. I actually wrote articles that were found that I wrote at 16 and 17. So,

IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT ME! FYI! Enjoy all! LOVE, PEACE, UNDERSTANDING.

LIES YOUR NARCISSISTIC EX TELLS TO DEMEAN YOU

FLYING MONKEYS REGURGITATION OF NARCISSISTIC EXES

I recommend watching or listen to the music as you read the article.

This is a story article to explain about what happens after one breaks up with a narcissistic selfish human being. NPD abuse happens in diverse types of relationships. It can occur in LGBTQ couples, family members, men, and women. I have written this from my point of view as a woman who was in several NPD abuse relationships and survived. I did not know what NPD abuse was until 2016. The universe supplied me with articles, therapists, and light.

There are so many possibilities of continued abuse by the narcissist. I have researched the internet about different steps of possibilities that a revengeful ex can do to the person who leaves them.

1. They blame you for the breakup regardless of who initiated the breakup. You become the scapegoat of their excuses you broke up or however it happened.

2. They belittle your worth. They undermine your achievements by making you feel you appear as a worthless human being.

3. They run a public smear campaign tarnishing your reputation by spreading false rumors about you. The term for that is “flying monkeys.”

4. Narcissists involve a third party such as a family member or friend to create jealousy or insecurities. You must maintain your emotional distance.

5. Narcissists try to exert control over you even after the breakup. They manipulate you emotionally, financially, or through shared assets. You must set boundaries.

6. Some narcissists use you for sex to maintain a connection.

7. Some narcissistic exes send texts, calls, and show unannounced. Block their access and limit communication.

8. If you have children together narcissists may try to portray you as a bad parent. Document interactions.

9. Some narcissists even try to suck you back into their web of lies. They might apologize by telling you they will change. They play mind games with your emotions as they know what buttons they need to push to either hurt you or make you love them.

10. Narcissists may weaponize legal proceedings during divorce and custody battles. Maintain no contact.

11. Mind games, gaslighting, and manipulation are the arrows they use to “shut you down. “

Self -care is crucial when dealing with a narcissist. You need a support system to help you, either the friends who they did not get to or family who did not believe them. Seek out a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse.

The story I have told bits and pieces about in songs, stories and poetry are just that. I found it hard to not be defensive. The narcissistic ex tells lies to the children and anyone they can to harm you as a human being. They belittle you as a human being. They lie to your children to turn them against you. To not go on the defense is difficult but find that a better solution is to defend yourself by being careful with your words and use a voice intonation or writing paragraphs that sets boundaries. You must be strong and remain with no contact.

With children it is difficult to remain 'no contact. What is even more disturbing is back in the day women were not the ones who won as they do now. The courts have changed a bit through the decades. Women used to be painted as the ones on drugs and whoring around even if they were not on drugs and only had one boyfriend after divorce. Remember the so-called good ole’ days when men could do whatever with women? If you do not remember, then you must research those decades before the 21st century.

Narcissists put their victims on the defense during marriage and after divorce. Learn to state your position by speaking directly without attacking your narcissistic ex.

These are only a few tidbits I have picked up through my narcissistic relationships. NPD abuse is a very extreme form of abuse either learned by their home environments or genetics.

You must walk away

To learn to say

Hell no

Do not talk to me in that tone.

Say you own

Your own body and soul

As I told

You in the story above

Be safe.

Set boundaries!

Go no contact as much as necessary unless kids are involved.

Get professional help.

Get a restraining order if necessary.

Take care of yourself.

Peace out!

Breathe in

Breathe out slowly.

Run about your life

One day at a time.

Remember you are not the ‘whore

or Scarlett woman as they have portrayed you to be.

Remember the friends or family you lost because they believed your ex narcissistic partner then they were never your friends, and just because someone is family does not mean you have to hang out with them, because they are not your friend either.

Mind games have always been popular with human beings. Domestic abuse and violence have always been around.

Look for red flags. Keep a list of the red flags then bale out of the toxic relationship.

Namaste

Peace out!

Written by

VICKI LAWANA TRUSSELLI

AGE 74

MAY 21, 2024

This is for information about NPD abuse. There are so many books and articles that one can read about narcissistic abuse. It is okay to tell people about your situation. Be safe and leave when necessary.