In Memoriam

Tomorrow is Monday, but it is a special day: Memorial Day.

So many of my friends and acquaintances celebrate having a long weekend and I get it, in our busy society, the days available to be with family and just breath are few and far between.

That said, I can't feel the happiness this weekend. We get this weekend to honor and remember what? The death of people who gave their all for our freedom. I feel sadness and grief.

I've never lost a part of my team in the way some soldiers have lost part of their squad.

I've never been a spouse or parent or child that had to say goodbye to a loved one who was serving - sometimes out of nowhere.

I've never had to anxiously wait for news of a loved one.

I've never lost a piece of myself on the battlefield.

But this weekend? This weekend is for all of those families and friends who lost that someone. This weekend is to remember all of those very important individuals and what they gave their lives for.

So instead of celebrating this weekend, I feel like crying: crying because all of those people who gave everything for our continued freedom; crying for those whose hearts ache in memoriam; and crying for all of those who will get notified in this next year.

I have experienced the expectation to show up for the Memorial Day services and not cry because I haven't personally lost anyone. Then, once the service is over, go celebrate with family by grilling, boating, gaming, etc. It feels so insincere and meaningless to me.

It might just be me as I feel the same way at funerals. The urge to cry with the family for an individual who I didn't even know typically overwhelms the mask that society expects me to have. Then, there is the expectation to show up later and eat, drink, and be merry alongside those whose world has just imploded.

When I have lost someone in the past, the casual nature of the majority of people just felt cold and heartless. Life continues for them and ... stops for the grieving person.

Why is it considered weird and abnormal to so many other people for me to actually put myself as close to how you might be feeling as I can? Why isn't it normal to solemnly stand, feeling the pain that other's have felt... and be there for them. Step into a standstill for a while longer than a simple service and acknowledge that the whole day is given in memoriam... not just an hour or two in the morning.

Life goes on and celebrating the freedoms our fallen soldiers have continued to grant us is a great thing to do: on July 4th when we celebrate independence.

I challenge you tomorrow to take a few more moments out of your day and try to imagine how much losing a loved one in war would hurt... and understand exactly how much this extra day off cost: not just those who gave their lives, but also the ones left behind to remember exactly how much they loved that individual.

I may not be able to thank the men and women who have died... but this is to thank those whom they left behind. Thank you for reminding us all that each of those who gave their all were: friends, dads, moms, sons, daughters, etc. Thank you for being willing to share that piece of your heart with the entire U.S.A. and I hope that someone, some where will cry alongside of you if you ever need companionship in your sorrow.