Forgive And Forget

By: Marlene Affeld

If you have been hurt by the words or actions of someone you love, or a person whose opinion you value, you can hold on to resentment, anger, or thoughts of revenge, or you can forgive, release your anger and move ahead with your life. Do you want to be happy or miserable? The choice is yours.

We often think of forgiveness as something you give to someone else. Wrong! Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Holding on to past hurts, resentments, and betrayals eats away like acid on the soul. It is hard work to stay mad. Holding on to anger drains energy and sucks the sunshine out of the day.

Whenever we experience the toxic emotions of anger, hate, distrust, envy, or jealousy, our nervous system automatically reacts, signally the brain that “this is an emergency.” In response to an emergency signal, the nervous system activates, preparing the body to deal with the threat.

Strong emotions stress the body’s major systems, such as the respiratory, heart, and nerves. Breath rate increases as our bodies try to take on more oxygen. As breathing speeds up, the heart pumps faster. A fast heartbeat increases pressure on the arteries. Anger impedes circulation.

In response to destructive emotions, some people may experience stomach or chest pains or have trouble sleeping. Levels of adrenaline elevate. When angry, many people break into a sweat or find their pupils dilate. Our faces may turn a flushed red or become very pale. Hands can turn clammy or cold; muscles tense. We may realize we are trembling or shaking.

Anger and prolonged stress activate the release of the stress hormone cortisol, causing anxiety, sadness, fear, depression, irritability, and lack of concentration. Prolonged anger or stress can lead to strokes or a heart attack. Nursing old grievances and thinking of another with anger does not harm the other person. It only hurts us. “It is like swallowing poison and expecting someone else to get sick.” If you do not practice forgiveness, you may be the one that pays with your health or your life.

The toxic emotions of anger, hate, or resentment have consequences. Often we lash out verbally, hurting others with our words. Sometimes these emotions provoke physical violence. Following an angry outburst, we often think critically of ourselves, ashamed of our actions. Anger lowers our mood and causes us to withdraw from life. We cannot be happy, joyful, or at peace when we are angry.

Identify the hurts and past injustices you are harboring in your heart. Who do you need to forgive? Focus your thoughts on that person and allow the noxious hostility, anger, and pain to exit your body. Imagine the negative energies you have been holding on to flowing out of your body, picturing the anger as dark, oily smoke leaving your body with each breath you exhale. Let it go! Picture a healing white light entering your lungs with every healing breath you inhale.

When we are angry, we tend to blame someone else for our misery rather than take charge of our happiness. When we forgive, we start to live. Releasing old grievances allows us to act in the present rather than exerting energy focused on the past. When we forgive, we regain our power.

References:

Thanksgiving Meditations – The Bible Meditator. https://thebiblemeditator.wordpress.com/2013/01/10/thanksgiving-meditations/