Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde

Introduction

My apologies if you thought this was going to be an analysis of the Robert Louis Stevenson creation, it’s not but I am using the analogy to tell you something about my own situation. I have certainly mentioned this in past pieces and hope that it may explain why I am like I am at certain times.

That Was Them This Is Me

I don’t know if it is getting older, actually part of this is. In my youth, I would do things without considering their impact on others. If they made me mad or upset me, I would take any legal action to get my own back in the form of revenge.

These days I always look for a peaceful resolution, which is not always possible, and maybe that has escalated my possible problem.

I see a lot of negative memes and statements which are basically “Someone or something has done me wrong or hurt me so I am going to hurt everyone first going forward”. To me, that is not a good frame of mind to be in and it isn’t even a joke, though people who say this sort of thing always have a defence. I hoped to find an example meme but I will borrow one when one pops up as it inevitably will.

Although I always look to build a peaceful environment, that is my Dr Jekyll side, the reasonable one, but there is a Mr Hyde who wants me to attack others for the slightest of reasons. It will say they hate me, they disrespect me, they are even stealing from me, with no good reason apart from hurting others and just venting.

I have to fight this and beat it down most days and when I do I feel good, and each time it happens I know that beating this bad half will make me feel better and actually stimulate my creativity, and maybe this is the reason why I am so creative.

The best bands I have been in have been a partnership of disagreement and fighting that resulted in some extreme creativity, it’s just that fighting with yourself would not seem the best way to actually do this, but it has resulted in a thousand Vocal stories, and most of my output has been very high quality, though some will definitely dispute that.

This does not make things easy for me, and maybe I should see someone about it, but I really would not know what to say, and would then start to worry that if I did have treatment would my creativity disappear or dissipate? I would not like to go through that and come out creationally sterile.

I always want things to be right and always try my best to make that happen, when there is an issue I want to fix things. I see others who when things go wrong, or not to plan, immediately look for someone or something to blame, maybe their Mr Hyde is the dominant part of their psyche, and often they do get the better of others but are in a continual state of being annoyed with something. That is not me,

Conclusion

I often put headings in my work to give me a framework to hang my words off.

The reason I have written this is that many people may be in a similar situation and I would like them to know that you can actually find benefits from what might seem a decidedly imperfect situation.

Maybe this is why I can create so much, I seldom interact with people creatively, but the few times I have, have been extremely productive. I will leave you with one such poem to prove that I am reasonably ok to work with. Hope that you enjoy it.

Music is "Dr Jekyll and Mt Hyde" by The Damnedwhich from "Phantasmagoria"