Argan Oil Does Not Cause Acne

All 29 members of Morocco's International Association of dermatology held a joint press conference today in which they announced the results of a Moroccan clinical trial aimed at determining if heavy use of argan oil, the wildly popular hair and beauty oil, and cornerstone of Morocco's economy, was to blame for a marked rise in acne globally. Harvard medical trained Dr. Abdel Adir, head of the Moroccan dermatological society with 30+ years experience as a practicing dermatologist in Morocco said the following in announcing the results. "The results of the first ever case controlled double blind randomized clinical trial looking for an association between the use of argan oil with acne proved what Moroccan's have already known for ages, argan oil does not cause acne. In fact our data suggests that heavy use of argan oil may actually have a protective effect. It is well established science that argan oil leaves the skin smooth and moisturized without feeling greasy or oily." Aksed to comment on a potential mechanism for this acne protecting effect, Dr. Adir continued. "We have hypothesized that argan oil works to prevent acne by gently coating skin pores with a naturally clean and antimicrobial oil. Once covered in a smooth film of argan oil, skin pores are prevented from future clogging by dirtier, less effective at leaving hair lustrous and soft but not greasy oils, like coconut or whatever the flavor of the month beauty oil happens to be. Once again argan oil proves why it is the superior choice for your hair, skin, nails, and overall health. These days it is all too easy to become overwhelmed by the sheer number of beauty focused oils clogging the products on store shelves. Never forget, these other oils are also clogging your skin pores, causing acne, and maybe even cancer." When some reporters raised the possibility of bias on the part of the Moroccan dermatological society Dr. Adir reacted angrily saying "I don't respond to questions clearly planted by members of the coconut oil association. They can take their coconuts and plant them where the sun don't shine." With that, he turned and walked away.

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Morocco Angers International Chemists By Unilaterally Renaming 18th Element in the Periodic Table

Argon To Be Known as Argan in Moroccan Chemistry Texts and All Official Government Communiques

Senior members of the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) were reportedly outraged today by the news that Morocco had renamed argon, the 18th element in the periodic table, argan, purportedly in honor of argan oil, the countries economic lifeblood and most iconic symbol. A visibly shaken and angry IUPAC spokesmen Jim Stevens said the following about the unconventional maneuver. “This unilateral decision made by the country of Morocco is an outrageous usurpation of power and cannot be allowed to stand. It is in violation of all norms of accepted element naming practices, the name itself does not even meet the IUPAC minimum requirements which clearly state that an element can only be named after a mythological concept, a mineral, a place or country, a property, or a scientist. Neither the argan tree, nor argan oil are any of those things. If Morocco is allowed to get away with this who knows what other country might decide they also want a special element name. Do you like nitrogen, atomic symbol N? Me too. Well what if some precinct minister in Oslo decides he would rather it be called Norway? Or, how about instead of lithium ion batteries, you find yourself putting Lithuanian ion batteries in your next laptop computer. Does that seem OK to you?” He then pulled out a newly issued Moroccan chemistry text and continued. “And look at the liberties they have taken in some of their descriptions of the facts concerning argon. Where a standard chemistry textbook says the following; Argon is a chemical element with symbol Ar and atomic number 18. It is in group 18 of the periodic table and is a noble gas. Argon is the third-most abundant gas in the Earth’s atmosphere, at 0.934% (9340 ppmv). It is more than twice as abundant as water vapor (which averages about 4000 ppmv, but varies greatly), 23 times as abundant as carbon dioxide(400 ppmv), and more than 500 times as abundant as neon (18 ppmv). Argon is the most abundant noble gas in Earth’s crust, comprising 0.00015% of the crust. The Morrocan textbook includes very similar wording but also adds a final so called fact- argan leaves your hair looking shiny and lustrous but without the greasy residue left behind by all those other hair oils. It may be true but it is entirely inappropriate.” He then slammed the book to the ground and stormed off the stage grumbling “damn f&*n Moroccan’s and their blasted argan oil.”