An aspiring writer from the UK
That didn't last long...
The elegant lines of a stingray glided past as my eyes attempted to burn holes in the glass of it’s home, unable to blink away the pain. I felt my mind emptying of all my thoughts and a dark cloud looming, ready to engulf me. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t blink, all I could do was stare.
How many times do you google something to check if it’s right? I often seem to miss a key part of a film or a funny part of a film because I’m googling to see how old the actor is to see which one of us was closer or I’m checking how to spell a word correctly or doing a ‘just in case’ check of the correct bus number or train time. I feel we have it too easy sometimes, always having a way of checking if we’re right but that’s not the same when it comes to relationships is it.
We've got a long way to go
We’ve got a long way to go. How often have you heard this time? I heard it just the other day in fact when discussing LGBTQ+ education but what does that mean? How do we know how long we ‘have’ to go? Could it not be a short way to go? Why do we HAVE to go this long way? Is there an easier way? Where are we going?
Worrying is like holding an umbrella up in the sun, waiting for it to rain
And logically, that doesn’t make sense, right? Why does worrying feel normal and natural and needed? I saw this saying once and I didn’t get it but then when I noticed people around me like my mum and boyfriend worrying for no reason, I realised that I was doing the same and we’ve been conditioned to welcome worry and yet, when we are to compare it something like the analogy above, it doesn’t make sense as to why this is a done thing but it’s done every day by us, sometimes without us knowing we are. Remind yourself of this saying, it’s saved me from myself a lot.
The head of the family
It’s 2006 and 6 months before my dad dies. I obviously didn’t realise it at the time but valuable lessons were learnt in these 6 months and I wish I’d have recognised them when they were happening but the nice thing is that I often look back and think about how they made me who I am today and that’s the lasting effect of memories, cherish or dismissed.
Dad, AKA 'the man'
I remember being stood by the toilets, waiting for my uncle to come out of the toilets and they were next to this really big rollercoaster that I didn’t want to go on, but my dad had said ‘come on, don’t be a wuss, come on with me it’ll be fun!’ This made me not want to go on even more. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed being angry at my dad, or to wanted to contradict him, but it allowed me to side with mum as she would often say ‘he said no, don’t force him if he doesn’t want to’ which pleased me that I got my own way.
All the small things
Kindness – a simple enough word but not so simple to action. For some anyway… I think kindness is something you learn early on in life and it’s hard to create later in life if the foundations haven’t already been established – it’s not impossible to nurture into something from nothing but it takes a lot more work, work people aren’t willing to put in because kindness isn’t something you always have, it comes and goes and evolves and is not always reliable.
Discussing Mental Health
I’ve been depressed. I can say that now as I’ve managed to get to a point where I’ve got a handle of my mental health and I can say I’m no longer in my lowest moment however still being aware of my mental space. Why is it only now though that I feel okay talking about it?