Joe Patterson
Bio
Hi I'm Joe Patterson. I am a writer at heart who is a big geek for film, music, and literature, which have all inspired me to be a writer. I rap, write stories both short and long, and I'm also aspiring to be an author and a filmmaker.
Stories (502/0)
Oval Office
So what do you get when a group of idiot best friends get together and have a contest for who can drink a jug of water the fastest during their break time at work? Well you have an even bigger idiot named Carl Roberts who is rushing home to pee before he wastes his bladder all over himself.
By Joe Pattersona day ago in Fiction
Candyman: Uno Momento
It is a clear warm night in East Los Angeles. 16 year old Bernard Ray is getting ready to go sleep when a conversation he had with his friends earlier in the day comes to mind. His two best friends Laurie and Jason told him the urban legend about the Candyman. They told him that if you say the Candyman’s name five times in a mirror then he will pop up behind you with bees surrounding his essence and a hook jammed into the stump of his sawed off right hand and then he will murder you for calling him by his forbidden named.
By Joe Patterson2 days ago in Fiction
My First Bachelor Party
For many people the date of April 20th will forever be known as the day when stoners go extra smokey, but for me, April 20th will forever be known as the first time I ever attended a bachelor party. When most people think of bachelor parties they think about a wild night of partying, drinking, perhaps even some exotic dancers to usher out that final dance of freedom to celebrate the big “I do’s”. That is definitely not how my experience went.
By Joe Patterson5 days ago in Marriage
Fuego Burger
Charlie is sitting at the dinner table with his aunt Esther, his cousin Michael and his sister Ella. Sitting in front of him at the table is a big juicy, greasy burger with red sauce leaking from its center. The sauce is his aunt Carol’s famous Fuego Sauce which is said to be so hot that no one can withstand its spice for longer than one minute after tasting the sauce. Charlie who loves a good challenge has been challenged by his family members to take a bite from the sandwich to see how long he can withstand the spice of the sauce before needing a drink.
By Joe Patterson7 days ago in Fiction
Catching The Bus
Evan was rushing to find his house key because the school bus would be arriving down the street in less than one minute. He quickly glanced out of his bedroom window and saw his friends down the street waiting for him and the arrival of the school bus. “I gotta hurry up and find those keys.” Evan thought.
By Joe Patterson9 days ago in Fiction
Visiting Some Old Ghost
In the story It by Stephen King there is a part where the character Ben Hanscomb returns to the area where he first encountered the antagonist of the story as a child and when his cab driver makes note of this visit he says he was just “visiting some old ghost”. Just over a week ago I had my own visit with some old ghost when I went back to the city of Chapel Hill, which is where I used to live as a kid.
By Joe Patterson12 days ago in Confessions
Audi 5000: It Feels Good to be a Writer
This week I reached a remarkable milestone in my journey as a writer. I finally garnered 5000 reads. When I checked my vocal stats and saw that my stories had obtained 5000 reads for some reason I felt like I was legendary. It definitely went to my head. In that moment I felt I was as incredible a writer as Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe. It was definitely an egocentric moment. In all honesty I really was proud of myself, but you’d have to know the history bengind my journey to becoming a writer to understand why this is such a big deal for me.
By Joe Patterson12 days ago in Journal