Jillian A. Weiss
I'm 24 years old looking to put myself out there as a writer and make my voice heard. I write poetry and fiction. I may branch out into other genres too. If you like my work please leave a tip!
The day I let her go
The day I let her go, I held my hands up and looked to God above, always near, always here. That is what I was taught. Everything on this Earth is temporary, here today and gone tomorrow. We don't know what we have until it's gone. And so here I sit at my desk, wondering, how and when this became such a mess? Empathy comes naturally to me, when I see the hurt, no one is free. When a person becomes a part of me. There is no rest for the weary. I know this isn't goodbye, it's see you later. However, each time we are apart. I can't help but think of you and the masks that those other girls will wear.
My hands turned outward and my soul walking towards things unseen. 24 years the earth has stood beneath my feet. So young, yet inside so old. My mind is my sanctum and my enemy. One glance is all it takes to see everything. I'm not better than you, only different. I can't be molded, I can't be shaped. I strive to make the world a better place.
Another cycle, another day, the world turns and she sighs. Waiting for Wisdom to speak to her. She turns and looks toward the the growing abyss. The light has saved her but the world still hates her. She smiles and she cries, because she knows that wisdom never dies. The watcher, watches, but the sword cuts deep. What is it that humanity seeks? A redeemer comes through each cycle. A word, a whisper, a kiss. Yet, it does not last.
Pain, pain, comes again. Waiting, waiting to torment. And so I smile and say "Here we go again. Come and make me stronger." The burdens that we face can make or break us. Out of my Mother's womb, I came kicking and screaming. I lift my eyes to heaven, but slam my foot to the ground, cursing everything that is hellbound. My spirit wanders between two realms.
Gone are the Days
Gone are the days when we sat together. Gone are the days, where we laughed and played in the sunshine. You were the tomboy, I was the little princess. The one that held your hand and told you that it would be ok. And in my child-like innocence, I thought you would forever stay.
Let's play chess
Hello, do you know what my name is? Nevermind it doesn't matter. I saw you looking at me from across the room. I felt like we were playing chess and our board was such a mess. But I cannot seem to trace who had started this game? Was it you? Or was it I? The human mind is so hard to define. What are your goals? Perhaps I already know. Footsteps, footsteps, are you coming closer? Footsteps, footsteps are you moving backward? I watch for the story untold that is worth more than silver or gold.
Fields of Green
I walk through these great fields of green. The wind blows in my face, the birds flying overhead. The sun shines but I have yet to smile in the blanket of nature I find solitude. I close my eyes for just one second, I see every face that has ever crossed my path. I step into the realm of dreams, it is as if I hold a mirror. A mirror that does not reflect myself, but the images of others. We are what we are, no one chooses their gifts, their regrets where they are born. I fear that I can never let go of this mirror it has become a tiresome part of me. Will you look into the mirror that I have for thee?
I miss what we never had
Mother nature embraces me again a tender kiss on the cheek. I find myself once again underneath the shadow of her wings. For who could comprehend a mind such as my own? I am caught between what is and what will never be. I look at the human heart and the human eyes. I see what they say and do not say. I think about the state of our happiness, I think about what I could have done to keep you by my side. Scenarios replay in the corners of my mind like a cassette tape. I speak my heart to Mother nature because she is the only one who seems to understand. The water it rushes by, the rocks that it cascades down, their sharp edges remind me of the bitterness that you held. The prickle of your words when you said goodbye. And now here I am soaking in the bitterness in which you left me with. Farewell, farewell to the love that I thought we could have.
Tired one, tired one, when will you lay down your arms? Tired one, tired one how long will the world scream at you? You look for grace in matters you do not understand. Waiting, waiting, for the push and the pull to stop. Is it a hand you want? A hand to hold? Or do you want someone to walk away on a path of silver and gold. Sometimes the ocean and the sand can be the ones that will help you with your plan.
Be still my heart
Hello, you do not know me and I perceive you but I do not know you. Or at least that's how you may see it. Let me explain, my mind, my heart is very complex. There are times where I am certain of something, then one small question enters my head. That single question it does not matter what it is but it throws me off into a mental tangent. Such is my life, such is how my mind works, furthermore it has been this way for as long as I can remember. I don't often write about myself however I digress this is to show you a look into my mind with the hope of it helping you in some way.