Motivated Jewish stoner with a healthy appetite for humor, perversion, & a side of hippity dippity.
I was 8 when I made some real money off of balls. So much so, my business was shut down by ‘the man’ quickly and ruthlessly. This is my story.
I call this one #MyHoneyHasMadFliesYo Sometimes it's really hard to choose happiness, but I still do and I want to help you do the same.
Rape seemed like an insane concept. I was intrigued with the power dynamic she spoke of when describing it all to me. It had never occurred to me that a man was more powerful than a woman, or could be. If you were to ask me, the fact that the power dynamic was my first thought about it all meant that Mama was doing something very right. I'm proud to look back and remember thinking more about the fact that men felt they could do this, then about the fact that men do, do this. She told me to warn me. So that when I was approached by odd men or creepy pedophiles, I'd know the risk and stay far away. Do not take candy from strangers. She didn't just want to save my teeth from sugar; she wanted to make sure I didn't have my “candy” stolen either.
Since my main goal in my short 6 years of life was to laugh and make others laugh as well, I was simply fascinated with sex. It was everywhere and it was hilarious. Everyone on TV was making sexual innuendoes and listening to adults (when they don't think your listening) gave me the giggles. I needed to know more about sex, why it was so funny, and how to get in on the jokes and understand why I was laughing instead of just seeing others start to laugh and join in along with them. I decided then, it was time for me to lose my virginity. Who needs it, right?
Growing up, the VCR (the ancient edition of what you now known as the DVR) was a holy and sacred black box in an otherwise unreligious household. My parents are both Jews, but we were far from religious. Other than the actual family gatherings that took place a county over at my aunt and uncles’ home on Long Island, which was about the extent of our religious background. Those stopped when I was 10 but we'll get into that later. The VCR was so vitally important for one reason, and one reason only - General Hospital.