My Honey Has Mad Flies, Yo
Written in 2016, but so grossly appropriate for 2020
I call this one #MyHoneyHasMadFliesYo
Sometimes it's really hard to choose happiness, but I still do and I want to help you do the same.
Sometimes I don't want to smile back when someone is rude but it's not worth the fight.
Sometimes I want to correct and demand understanding when I hear ignorant sentences but remember my energy is better spent elsewhere.
Sometimes I want to shake my friends and ask them to open their eyes but I realize they'd interpret it as judgement rather than a helping hand or feedback.
Sometimes I want to tell people their opinion is not fact and to please stop treating it as such but I realize it's truly how they feel and to tread lightly, or not at all.
Sometimes I want to tell someone I know they are lying but I respect that there must be a reason they are, one that's not my business.
Sometimes I’m nice, when I do not want to be but my honey has mad flies, yo.
Sometimes I want to tell someone they are being dramatic and that their problem is not an actual problem, just yet - but, it is a problem to them and that makes it valid no matter how frustrating it is to watch someone upset or angry about something you feel is trivial.
Sometimes people are incredibly inconsiderate but have no idea because that level of awareness is something they haven't yet achieved, and may never - and that's okay too.
Sometimes making these choices is a really difficult pressure to put on yourself and it feels like you can't possibly look past it all or smile through any longer. Then, you remember that smiling a big obnoxious smile and trying to make others reciprocate (even when they don't want to) is something you cherish about your family for instilling in you. The ease it inevitably ends up providing you throughout your daily life and how it shapes the choices you make is phenomenally worth every grinded tooth smile that can sometimes makes my eye(s) twitch.
All you want to do is spread the knowledge that none of these matter, no matter how much it can matter. I promise, that sentence DOES make sense.
Sometimes I get really annoyed that people tell me that I'm too accepting of others, I take too much crap from people and I need to stand up for myself more. But the fact of the matter is, is I've got it pretty damn good. My friends and family love and truly care about the real and raw me (which is why some of them are the ones who give me this advice). I know it's out of love, not criticism. I also know that not everyone can comprehend why I am this way, and that's okay. I don't understand why you're the way you are 100% of the time either. I love in full, no matter how much you piss me off or frustrate me. It’s pretty hard to get rid of me.
And sometimes I write lists to avoid doing things I don't want to actually do. Not because I know better, or because I'm a good person, this has nothing to do with that. Although this is technically me complaining in its own right, life is just so much easier when you don't give in to your own natural negativity and instead continue to choose to smile and be happy.
No matter how someone is treating you.
No matter how hard it is to smile.
No matter how thin the silver lining.
And to sign off exactly how I started this post - Sometimes it's really hard to choose happiness, but I still do and I want to help you do the same.
If you've made it this far, I appreciate the fact you gave enough of a poop to entertain my ramblings. #GivingAPoopIsDope
Thus concludes #MyHoneyHasMadFliesYo
(Written October 2016)
Thank you so much for reading. Although it's always a plus, I do not write or share these stories for the Tips so please do not feel obligated. The fact you made it this far means the world to me. Thank you, again!