Anna Torres
Bio
I’m a 37-year old mother. I love reading, metal music, and writing. I have begun writing again since 2021
Stories (123/0)
Cartilage
It's time to finally summon up the blood and heal this undue trauma. If I could, I would erase every inch of you from history. No trace or hint that you were ever really here. Your existence would be wiped entirely and I will benefit from every obliterated tragedy. I would set the past ablaze along with you in it. I burned the book with your name on every page. You were the cause of all my fruitless endeavors, the root of all my unnecessary quivering. I matter whether or not you ever saw it, whether or not you ever acknowledged it. I couldn't give you any more of what you never appreciated. How much did it cost to sell your soul? Did you ever have one to begin with? Can I transform this roadblock into something better? Can I ever think of you without becoming bitter? You were merely a colonizer taking credit for everything you never earned. I have to un-laminate myself so you can no longer infiltrate me even further. I knocked you down from the top spot in our hierarchy and you resented me for it. Mediocrity became the norm while you forbid me from accomplishing anything without you. Your stamp of approval was required for everything underneath the sun. I kept circling the drain and waiting for the inescapable plunge. We were somehow always predetermined to go our separate ways. We prolonged the unavoidable for reasons that no longer make any sense. Even at our worst, that comfort zone was all we had. I couldn't prevent the loose gravel from collapsing in on me. You were trapped in the rubble after the earthquake. You were abandoned in the mineshaft after the cave-in. You suffocated from the dirt I had buried you in after brief contemplation. You were the vindictive one but I'm the one who's been vindicated. We were lost in the rust and losing our identities. I've learned to embrace these eccentricities but you only embraced yourself. You didn't know enough to realize you didn't know enough. I didn't know who I was without you. You were the still born aspect of my life that just simply refused to let go. Your actions can never be reversed and they will whither away in agony. Your words attempted to lacerate me but your gutless lies can no longer torment me. If I had to succumb and align with the dearly departed, I knew I would find a way to revive and awaken once more. My body will heal and my wounds will mend in time. My bones will be restored and my cartilage will resurrect over and over again. It's not in your nature to overcome adversity but it is in mine. You came back to steal my worth but realized you never could. My destiny is in my own hands which is something you never understood. Your words may echo for a few lifetimes but my actions will echo forever in eternity
By Anna Torres24 days ago in Poets
Atra Mors
We questioned everything but never received any response. No evidence or trace of origin. We contacted the ends of the solar system and still never any roots of a creator. The Black Death is nothing compared to this big, empty, and lonely existence on solitary Earth. I've seen our Pale Blue Dot of a planet but have always taken it for granted. I'm not a stoic any longer. Whatever is approaching is inevitable and impossible to alter its trajectory. One by one, the planets fall victim to this Nihilistic Ball. Decadent Dance. Mars and Mercury will dissipate and Venus is already gone. Uranus will collide into Broken Jupiter. Arid Saturn. Nocturnal Neptune. Pluto has returned but retreated into oblivion. And now it's our turn. We're next
By Anna Torres25 days ago in Poets
Good Morning, Vampire
Good Morning, Vampire. I cannot give you any more asylum here. No sanctuary from the sun, no rosary beads tucked away beneath this masquerade. You tried to storm this castle but I wouldn't allow your unholiness in. What did you think you would conjure here? No spells to be broken because I am immune. Can we really be reborn from this loss of dignity? I let you dilute me until there was nothing original left. You wanted me at the bottom so you could keep me prisoner. Afraid of an uprising when I finally realized this was all staged. Ascending upward was the death of our misfortune. Subterranean miscreant, I will use the rest of my holy water to cure you. I'll send you down to your maker and I hope they bring the violence. You were the sinkhole I kept on drowning in. My mouth full of deafening screams that no one could hear, especially you. The morning light will wash over you and be your undoing. You're the Grim Reaper but the day of reckoning has come. Traitors have been tested and been deemed unworthy. There's something about your existence that makes my blood boil. Without you, my life could have avoided turmoil. I predicted a riot against pity and self-loathing but you always loved me when I was broken. You rose to the top while I paid dearly for the darkness. Spirits lose their spines and have to assemble new ones. I didn't know you wanted me to remain hopeless. To abrogate you would have been the most supreme evil plan I ever conceived. You always returned to capsize the boat I rescued myself in. You created tsunamis to torture me and I always responded with more tears. You were the strain that continuously infected me and my mental health. I slept in a lonely bed waiting for you but you never had any warmness to begin with. Your coffin lay undisturbed while I assembled more garlic and crosses to defend myself with. You were the smoke that always burned my eyes. You were the stake in my heart that wouldn't let me die. You siphoned my sanity and blood out of my well-being. Draining me to the point of exhaustion and suffering. I have the marks on my neck to prove your abuse. I have the trauma you inflicted that I cannot wait to lose. This will circle back to you sooner or later. This will creep back on you but you will never learn your lesson. You always exploited the worst parts of me. You always managed to get on the dark side of me. You contributed more to my misery than you ever tried at my happiness. We are on the do not resuscitate list and it's time to finally lay you to your ultimate rest. I didn't know then that this was truly for the best. I wall you in behind these red bricks and wait for the sun to take you away. Morning cannot come fast enough. I hear your nails turn to stubs while you scratch aimlessly at the chamber door. My hands won't reach out for you anymore
By Anna Torresabout a month ago in Poets
Unwelcome
By what design am I meant to walk so cautiously with this burden? This unwholesome situation is so mentally exhausting. I let you inflict your trauma on me. I allowed you to infiltrate my core where you decided to off load all your misdeeds. Years spent undermining myself but you didn't help lift me up in any way. I provided a safe place but you were never the comfort I sought. You were a paradox I couldn't figure out. You were a contradiction that couldn't quite function. You kept trying to make me dimmer so you could shine brighter. I was inhaling your poisonous fumes and wondering why I kept asphyxiating. How can I disassociate from your entire existence? Why am I constantly at war with myself? This is the wrong kind of love and I don't want it. It keeps disrupting me and I have no need for it. Dying more and more each day until there was only a void left in me. Your selfish deeds can't keep dismembering and dismantling me. Please leave me as I am. I was overruled in the beginning but you will forever remain unwelcome now. Bargaining is done but you will never be forgiven. You will be laid to eternal rest with such vehemence. I can't continue to bandage my wounds with you still creating new ones. Vanquishing you will be an ordeal I must endure in order to survive. You were allowed here once. You have stayed past your allotted time. The clock counts down until the inevitable moment. Time of death is any minute now. You are most unwelcome from now until my grudge decays. This kind of love makes everyone unwell. Will I ever forgive you? Only time will tell
By Anna Torres2 months ago in Poets
Polytheist
I was the visionary with parallels always blocking my views. I didn't know it was you I had to confront in order to remove the blockage. I wasted time praying to you when you never heard one of my prayers. I was wrapped up in the all-consuming aura you perpetrated but you never matched anything I ever gave, you only took. You were the crack of light that never broke the seal you formed around me. There was an afterlife I had prepared for us but this world needed me free. The keeper of the dead let me go out of pity and out of spite. You wouldn't dare meet me in the middle because that would require actual consideration from you. There was always some thing I felt I had to prove. The pressure from conformity was only released when I forced you out of my life. The voices in my head criticized me worse than your nonchalance ever did. My suffering finally collapsed and collided with my outstretched hands. We grabbed a hold of one another and I threw that wretched suffering overboard for the final time. I smelled sulfur for far too long and I grew accustomed to it. I let the fear control me until I was afraid to accomplish anything. I was unaware of how conditional our love would turn out to be. I thought being hard made me unbreakable but I still ended up broken. You didn't want me to speak but so much has gone unspoken. I thought you made me heartless when it was me who had to conceal that precious commodity. Always the greedy one, stealing my peace and sanity when I had none to begin with. I wished for your blessings but only received silence. You projected your own insecurities onto me and I accepted them readily. My revenge from this possession is the exorcism of you from my life. I have uninvited you and expelled you permanently from my sight. It took a decade for me to see that you're not some kind of deity. Not some divine omniscient creator meant to deliver me from my sins. There are more out there than just you. And there are more willing to love me the way I needed to be loved. What more could you do for me that I couldn't already accomplish without you? Fear, I could do without. Worship myself, I could do again. I found out I could always start all over again
By Anna Torres2 months ago in Poets
Matches
I never marched in line although you wasted time forcing me to. Stifling a fire that was never yours to quench. Meddling in affairs of evolution and resilience. We were trapped in gridlock pointing our fingers permanently at each other. What was once endearing is now just abhorrent and unwanted. I called you Dreamkiller but it was me who granted you all of that endless power. Forever needing reassurance but not from you. The uncensored version of myself has yet to be found. Filtered, watered down, and sanitized by extreme measures. I had to hide my true self in order to adhere to your strict standards. I broke all the rules while you continued to establish new ones. You kept trying to put out this roaring flame but all you did was make it burn brighter. My light flickers and can be see from eons away. Telescopes have witnessed my emergence into illumination. You tried to bury me with dirt. It didn't work. You tried to ruin me with water. You might as well have not even bothered. You tried to ridicule me with other matches and kerosene. But lighter fluid is useless beyond me. You tried to force dynamite down my throat. But it was you who needed to implode the most. You tried to blow me out with fables and fairy tales mixed with hyberboles. I never rose to the occasion because it was all beneath me. You used your last ounce of strength to make your final escape. You tried to set me alight with unnecessary friction and temperamental heat. There's no where we could ever meet. My embers learned to combust long before you. You kept trying to halt my progress by silencing my spark. But I've erupted into the light while you cower back into the dark. I don't need gasoline to make me more powerful. I am more than just the chemicals you tried to exile me with. These scars you helped create are now my trophies. My smoke rises and my vapor boils. I am moving beyond the boundaries and fences you installed around me. I have expanded unscathed and I have become more. I am something you cannot recognize anymore
By Anna Torres2 months ago in Poets
Rex the lonesome king
I watched my kingdom deteriorate slowly until it became a nothingless void. Ancient Laramidia couldn't survive extinction status but I was already a dying carnivore long before the end. They all knew me as a predator but it wasn't all true. I walked the lonesome path because I didn't know how to allow anyone else to walk beside me. I looked in the reflection in the lake ripples but couldn't see past my own impossible flaws. I couldn't hug myself even if I wanted to. I played the role of an apex scavenger when I always wanted to be more. The reputation of this Cretaceous period lies solely within my fossilized monarchy. How could I be unafraid when I was simply pretending to be? How do we love ourselves despite our demons manifesting deep within ourselves? With a crown so heavy on my head and cruel irony forever tormenting me. Everyone else seems to be content with their bodies and self-image but not me. Why is self-esteem so easily attainable for everyone but me? I didn't choose to be like this. I didn't choose to look like this nor feel like this. I'm supposed to be a king on a massive throne but this throne is powerless to give me what I truly want. Acceptance of one's self despite contradictions and abnormalities. There are the dinosaurs that fly in the sky and they are happy and at peace. There the ones that roam in herds and can actually touch their loved ones. I am burdened to walk this path alone with no regard for my own admiration. What can I do when all I want is to be something more? My aspirations are dwindling. I cannot bear the weight of this heavy crown forever. I watched the twinkling stars evolve into morning light and hazy dewdrops. I spied out of the corner of my eye a comet in the sky. Maybe this will be the change I so instantly crave. Something to make me quit comparing myself to everyone else. When my world shifted completely, I was still left with this burden. I hope my ancestors do not carry this meaningless weight as I once did. It achieves nothing to be so preoccupied with hating your own worth. I questioned my own meaning and my own existence. My crown is heavy with self-doubt. I can only hope I learn to accept these imperfections and remember, I am worthy and I am enough just as I am
By Anna Torres2 months ago in Poets
Katana
You didn't care what happens to me. I stopped caring what happens to you. Transparency was never your strongest attribute nor was your hospitality. Because of you, I spoke melancholy fluently. I was the ocean trying so desperately to wave at you but you were the moon and you wouldn't look downward. I was in the spillways while you were in the clouds. Subterranean tunnels and hot air balloons. Gutterballs and solar flares. You were the gravity in the entire universe while I was dwelling in the mantle of the planet you developed amnesia about. I wasn't authorized to speak up and use my voice. You were the override that rescinded each and every choice. The vagueness didn't add to any absent conversation. Your deliberate attempts at lying were made straight to my face. I didn't believe in gullibility until the veil was lifted. I didn't know my loyalty and dedication were not reciprocated until the very end. Your words couldn't realign with any thoughtless action. Your absent mindfulness sliced through my peripheral vision like a katana. I was always prepared for self-sabotage but this all came from you. Every scenario played out in my mind except for this one. Any sword would have done less damage than what your intentions unloaded. My plans have more velocity and more fury than any blade from any bygone era. This is not my punishment nor my fault. This was the result of incompetence and incompatibility but I kept trying despite the obvious. What a Sisyphean endeavor but I chose to keep failing. You never had access to my heart because it was never yours to begin with. I knew inevitably this would run its course but I hoped it would end at my own choosing. You didn't take the truth with you when you left. The universe didn't throw a wrench into my blueprints. It threw a dagger into my coveted and prolonged suffering. What a weapon to use against my chainmail and unexpected resurrection. I have created my own katana, dripping with ferocious rage and the ability to conquer. Forged with ambition and a sense of renewed purpose. I am my own master and I will slay those who say otherwise. I don't have anymore to give you, not even a goodbye
By Anna Torres2 months ago in Poets
The Scourge of God
You punctured too many holes into my heart. I had to carry it in my arms like a sieve. I had to go numb worse than novocaine to preserve myself. I was forced to realize that we had simply run out of time. A prison made to keep us together out of nostalgia. I had my illusions but you completely shattered them. You had to prove you could do better than me. But loyalty cannot be bought, it can only be given. What drove us together was a spark that quickly dwindled. We called it love but settling resembles hope too much. You were too far away even when you were right beside me. I didn't want you closer, I wanted you to be something you could never be. You weren't searching for the truth like I was, you just wanted to cover up your mishaps. You couldn't fill the holes you created so you found a clean slate instead. The chasm in between just caused more space to ignore. You're no longer any of my concern. You told your lies in order to survive. I had to levitate myself in order to burn. Two worlds divided in order for us to finally die. I don't know when but this lesson has got to be learned. You were the salt in the wound I didn't think I deserved. You tried to take credit for all the accomplishments I knew I would earn. This pain isn't mine anymore, now it's your turn
By Anna Torres3 months ago in Poets
Pit of Doom
Memories of us are just hazy and incoherent. A myriad of conflicting personalities and pretentiousness. This is the end of all verses that have run of fuel. We have reached the pinnacle of martyrdom. I wanted you to try as much as I did but that proved to be out of your reach. I always strained more and further out than your body ever could. Our engine ran on hope and four flat tires. Our locomotive couldn't find the best route so we drove blind anyways. It's like you threw us down into this pit and wondered why I kept trying to escape. I wanted you to want to escape with me. To change every flaw in your corrupted design and be what you were supposed to be. Heaven forbid we change ourselves to accommodate who we claimed to love. Isn't that what love is supposed to be? How could I have accepted you as you were when I couldn't even accept myself? There's no hand reaching me to help me out of here. In order to get out, you descended and dug even deeper. You found the coward's way out and I salute you for it. Leaving me in this doom forced me to introspect. What could I do differently that I ever tried before? Why can't I just accept your resignation and be at peace with your departure? No, I must prove to myself that your retirement from this hell would not be the end of me. Just because you absconded into the twilight does not mean I was going to wait for you until dawn. I have renounced my oath and am loyal only to myself now. My memory will eventually forsake you but for now, this abdication is what drives me forward. No magical staircase was built but a rope was painstakingly made to climb out of here. This pit of doom no longer has any room for me. It has weakened its jaws and released its grip on me. You can make a prisoner out of someone else. I am no longer willing to be that sacrifice anymore. The void that is you got left behind. I can't hear your echoes anymore, I will pay them no mind
By Anna Torres3 months ago in Poets
Dethroned
I've returned from dehydration in the arid desert. I've resurfaced from forced hiatus in isolated Siberia. You held too much influence and power in just one useless finger. But I had the common sense to finally push you away so you wouldn't linger. A pariah speaking at a different frequency than me. We were speaking in tongues and alternating tones that neither of us could decipher. This vendetta will outlast us both. I've placed myself back on the altar and knocked you off your pedestal. Invincible and supreme, there's nothing more you can throw at me. You made me yield when I should have skyrocketed. The defeat you had orchestrated will backfire on you. The elaborate cage you trained me in couldn't withstand my wrath. I've destroyed the illusions you had set in stone. The firing squad is here to finish what I started. Execution by guillotine is a waste of energy. Trial by fire is the best way to go. I've yielded too many times and now the answer is simply no. I wasn't afraid to die with you by my side. I was afraid to live and not dare step out from under your shadow. The fearmonger in me sought more than anything you were ever gracious enough to hand to me. This isn't love nor was it madness. It was an excuse to stay stagnant that made my insanity completely pointless. I assumed we shared our sickness together but it was I who suffered alone. You made your exit so sudden that I was left with this burden to exist alone. You thought you had made this choice for me. I thought I would avenge myself but it is my silence that will speak volumes for me. My choice to remain supreme will perform the spectacle you will never witness. My ability to be invincible is the moment you will never see. Some people will tear themselves apart to find their worth. I always knew I was. I just couldn't locate it until I eradicated you first. You forced me to capitulate and emulate surrender. But I never acquiesced and I never will. The only armistice I agree to is emancipation. Keep your shield up and your armor intact. You may need it when I strike you down and step over your corpse to find my ultimate peace. Misery cannot find me. There is nothing more you can do to deplete me
By Anna Torres3 months ago in Poets
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