The world of Basketball detailed by the voices of the unathletic. Discussing play, culture, and, of course, who's the best. Trust the Process.
Exploring the Possibility of the Warriors Failing to Reach the Finals
A week ago, the Golden State Warriors feared losing the No. 1 seed to the San Antonio Spurs. Now, they find themselves a full three and a half games ahead of the No. 2 seeded Spurs. This is in large part due to Wednesday night’s spectacle of a performance by both sides, where the Warriors opened the game down 15–0 and were down by as much as 22, only to come back and win the game by 7 points. This came only a night after a tough road win versus the Houston Rockets, who they face again on Friday at the Oracle Arena.
The Most Finalisty Final Four Breakdown on the Internet
Horrible things happened along the way, but here we are — four teams remain. The original bracket breakdown I wrote became an immediate cause for embarrassment. My wife left me. My daughter asked that I not attend her parent/teacher conference. One of my sons publicly disowned me through an article in the local paper; which was weird because 1) it isn’t 1823 and 2) he’s only four.
In a New NBA Frontier, the Portland Trail Blazers Provide a Cautionary Tale
Even in the new NBA, where positionless basketball and over-priced free agents are all the rage, not having a direction for your team is a very troubling forecast. Although it seems as though they are trending upwards with the young and promising duo of Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum, the Portland Trail Blazers find themselves in a sticky situation. Let’s dive a bit deeper.
Your Racist Uncle’s Favorite NBA Team
The New Orleans Pelicans just became your racist uncle’s favorite NBA team. Obviously this isn’t true — his favorite NBA is the college team he roots for. Exploitation of a youthful workforce for the purpose of increasing anonymous white septuagenarians is as American as gerrymandering or government surveillance. Or your racist uncle loves the Celtics. Celtics fans are like squares. Every square is a rectangle, but every rectangle isn’t a square. Every racist basketball fan I know is a Celtics fan, but not every Celtics fan is a racist. The Celtics exist on a plane of historical “whiteness” that is truly rarefied air. In 2008, Joe Willett of Bleacher Report endeavored to make a list of the greatest white basketball players of all-time. Presumably, it was written on a stationary Confederate flag before being transposed digitally. The list is all Celtics. Squares and rectangles man, squares and rectangles.
The Worst Mock Draft on the Internet: Part II
Lawyer on Retainer: Bad marriage tier two — a bad fit Pelicans, Pick 7: Malik Monk, Kentucky The Ringer How pissed do you believe Anthony Davis is on a regular basis? I had the worst series of thoughts about AD the other night. I worried that he was brooding concerning the plight of his franchise. Then I pictured him in some jazz spot in New Orleans; his body folded into a chair, willing himself to be invisible. What if his unibrow is no longer charming to fetching young women? I bet he doesn’t even shoot at nerf hoops with nephews. He probably drives around NOLA and smokes cigarettes as he idles next to a playground court. Oh God, he’s going to get into voodoo isn’t he? Davis is averaging 27 points and 12 rebounds, with over two blocks and one steal a game. His team is twelve games under .500. Lays eh lei wonton Kangaroo lay! Last year, the Pelis drafted Buddy Heild to space the floor for Davis. Hield had a terrible, no-good first third of the season. It appears he has righted the ship to a degree, but may never be a championship caliber running mate. Speaking of…
Speak Softly and Drop Triple Doubles
Russell Westbrook is having a historic year, but not unprecedented…or should we say unpresidented. July 1, 1898 Kettle Hill Cuba
Everyone Is Breaking up With Melo
Carmelo Anthony entered the NBA in 2003. That year he also ente — nope, whoops — started dating something called a La La who was a “v-jay”. I promise all of those syllables made so much sense in 2003. They seemed…happy-ish? Our societal rules for observing celebrity couples have never refined themselves beyond the extremes of worship and schadenfreude. They were together and it was a thing and they got married on TV.
Are the Utah Jazz for Real?
The Utah Jazz have climbed nearly all the way to the top of the Western Conference, and if you have been paying attention to the music men, it shouldn’t come as a surprise. They feature an all-out superstar, Gordon Hayward (save the fact that no one knows who he is because he plays in Utah), a plethora of young talent, and one of if not the most stifling defenses in the league. Shout out to Rudy Gobert. The only question that remains: are they for real? This is truly a question that can’t be answered until the playoffs begin. We will, however dive into a few things that call the Jazz’s run into question.
If the Shoe Fits…
Under Armour has admitted a hard truth. They conceded that their flagship sneaker, the Curry 3, was not selling as well as they originally hoped. CEO Kevin Plank did his best to “business-talk” his way out of this harsh reality. Yet the perceptive reader/listener was consistently reminded that the corporate tongue is typically forked. Ironically, the Curry 3 might be one of the more unappealing sneakers a reigning MVP has ever worn.
Norman Powell Is a Vital Part of the Raptors' Success
Norman Powell adds a spark to the Raptors lineup when they need it most. He’s the go to guy off the bench, and hardly ever disappoints. This was evident in the series against the Bucks where he opened eyes with several impressive performances, especially in Game Five when he dropped 25 to lead the Raps to a big win over Milwaukee.
Between Me and Jusuf
Basketball talking types have recently engaged in a debate regarding the best young big men in the league. Karl Anthony Towns plays for the Minnesota Timberwolves and he is a very good player. Nikola Jokic plays for the Denver Nuggets and he is very good. People debate which of the two is better. People debate who is the better young big man to build a team around? Some people point to KAT’s statline — 25 points, 12 rebounds, 35% from three — on the year. Some people point to Jokic’s passing ability which hints at the paranormal. This is a real debate real people with real eyes and real brains have.
Rockets or Spurs: Who Would Have the Best Chance Against the Warriors?
The NBA Playoffs are in full tilt, and the action is as intense as any of us could have expected. Although there are those match-ups that are just as scintillating as they were advertised to be, such as the Rockets/Spurs and the Celtics/Wizards series’, there are also those that are somewhat disappointing. Although it is still very early in the series, this could already be the case for the Warriors after an easy victory in Game 1 against the Jazz. As we look ahead a bit to the finals, and assuming that the Golden State Warriors go on to finish off the Jazz, which team between the Houston Rockets and the San Antonio Spurs has the best chance at beating them? The answer will probably shock you.