Everything you need for a long and healthy life.
It has been said, “sleep is deaths’ sister” you may be wondering why I may be saying that. It’s quite a scary thing to hear, especially right before getting into bed. Scientifically, our bodies go through regeneration and our heart rates are at its lowest. I enjoy seeing the statistics of the quality of sleep I get each night, my night time heart rate is normally 50 beats per minute. When awake and static by heart rate is at 65 to 80 beats per minute. The difference is quite significant.
We all love to eat delicious food, but delicious food involves high calories, fat, gluten, and many other ingredients that affect our health. Also, this is not good for our skin as well as our mental health. Some of us don’t have time to make use of healthy food ingredients in our diet, as it takes time for proper shopping and buying all the healthy stuff.
The First Kindness It’s the hardest kind, you know? For those of us with a history of trauma where we had to appease the powerful adult(s) in our lives, performative kindness is also instinctive. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. Are you okay? Let me help. Everyone is important except me, expect us. When a parent is dangerous, the only option is to perfect, to be sweet.
I was in fourth grade when my world broke apart in the shape of the office lady coming to my water-color covered classroom. My teacher, who taught all but two classes, was pulled to the side and delivered news that would reach me shakily. "Lydia, I need you to come with me, let's...take a walk?" she started questioningly. "Holly will cover class until we get back." she continued heading towards me, sitting in the back of the room nearest the open door.
You never know what someone is going through unless you step into their shoes for a day. Only then can you get a piece of what that person's mindset has to deal with. Only then do you realize the struggles that they face.
Have you ever wondered how a cancer patient really feels? What they really go through? Over time the word "cancer "has become a word that is whispered or never spoken of. Whether it is spoken about or not the reality is those who are diagnosed with cancer can not escape it's grasp. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and thought I would die for about 5 weeks, then after having a double mastectomy, reconstructive surgery and 19 lymph nodes removed (5 testing positive for cancer) the final diagnosis was stage 3 which I was grateful that I could at least try to fight for my life. I completed 7 months of chemotherapy, 6 weeks of radiation therapy, and am 2 and a half years into hormone therapy, that I have to be on everyday for 10 years. Here is the truth, our truth. Here's my story. Before March 3rd 2017 I thought a “Breast cancer survivor" was a woman who had breast cancer and did not die from it. Boy was I wrong! The word "Survivor" doesn't give justice to what it is we really overcome. Being a Cancer Survivor means so much more then whether we live or die. Survivor is about surviving, not necessarily surviving cancer itself but more about surviving the mental abuse that the effects of cancer will put you through, have you questioning and second-guessing every decision you once were so sure of. Being a survivor is about surviving the emotional abuse that to often leave you feeling crippled, but with no crutches. Try to imagine fighting for your life while everything you once new about yourself is being taken over by an unseen impostor, that confusingly... is you. Surviving are those moments when we begin to question if it's even worth it anymore and as were crying, alone, on our bathroom floor, we find the strength to get back up in order to be a wife or a mom, because no matter what we go through we want those around us to feel normalcy within their own lives. We become survivors every time we show up for chemotherapy, radiation , and for endless surgeries, some so painful that at times you will forget how to breath, praying for it to at least lessen just enough to catch our breath, even if its just for a moment. Over time the pain does lessen while little by little strengthening the way that we will view ourselves. Eventually becoming proud to wear our permanent badge of honor. finally being able to see that we are so much more than just our scars. But that won’t happen until we overcome everything we once never thought we could, like having my breast removed, possibly having my ovaries removed and put on hormone therapy to stop the estrogen in which fuels my cancer, leaving me to ask “if you take all of that from me, than how will I ever feel like I am a woman again?" Being a survivor is the moment we are handed the pen in which our oncologist gives us and we are told to place our signature on a form (before we are given chemotherapy) stating that we understand that chemo will kill some of us. You see for me, just like so many other survivors,our fight doesn’t have anything to do with whether we will survive or not, It’s the possibility that maybe, just maybe because of the fight in which we are fighting today it will give my children and your children a greater possibility to never have to wonder whether they will lose their battle to cancer because we already fought that fight for them.
2020 was a knockout year. Really. I figure we’re all going to be in the history books our grandkids bring home from school. I have this visual of my grey-haired self pulling old dusty masks out from a drawer, explaining what it was like to live through COVID, and then showing masked selfies, pictures of the infamous “six feet apart please” stickers, and the occasional riot. It was also my second year of marriage, the year I (unknowingly) gained twenty pounds from fast food delivered by whatever service was offering promotions, and the year we adopted our second fur baby. My wife’s grandfather passed away early in the year from the virus, a week before it was even announced. I cut my hair into a bowl-cut, shaved my wife’s head, and decided I was joining the “no bra” movement. We moved into our new house and have found a way to keep ourselves occupied throughout all of this insanity, but through the good and bad of 2020, I have a few things I’d like to do differently this year. Especially since this virus doesn’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
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