Health + Wellness

I had battled for almost 20 years with crippling depression and PTSD. I felt that doctors diagnosed me but were not really helping me to cope and overcome.

What? That was my facial expression during my first cryotherapy session back in 2017. At that point the lady had told me that I wasn’t even a minute in, and I was already at -15 degrees, and it was only going to get colder.! So, what drew me to cryotherapy benefits in the first place?

One of my favorite poets, slam poets, spoken word artists, is Buddy Wakefield, his words have been a comfort to me inasmuch as a guide, he has inspired me to challenge myself beyond my comfort levels and to express myself in ways that I have either never considered before or that seemed impossible, to me.

So, to explain the photo, this was a test strip that I used to test the remaining paraphernalia I had left, after I had overdosed and nearly lost my life to fentanyl. Like most people I started with a Percocet prescription from the “doc” aka my dealer. Soon enough you realize these grab ahold of your life and they do not let go. Soon the dosages aren’t enough and you resort to buying your pain medication on the street. I lasted about 10 years of just using what doc prescribed, but soon enough I was searching the streets of a very dangerous neighborhood, basically racially profiling anyone I thought could get me what I needed. (I had heard from some friends certain blocks have guys standing outside selling them). After about 3 hours of paranoia and debating wether or not to get out of my car I met “T”. He was as friendly as your local deli lady, asked me what i needed and, let me tell you his customer service was bettter then Walmart’s lol. But anyway, I proceed to wait on the corner of a street where 15 other dealers are standing trying to get their money. “T” returns with the Percocet, something seemed different about them but I figured hey it might’ve got messed up during shipping whatever excuse you tell yourself because you value safety less then getting high when you an addict. I even approached it somewhat smart, did half my usual dose to make sure nothing was wrong with them... seemed to be working. I take my normal dose and two hours later I wake up in a hospital, with a breathing tube down my neck because it was laced with fentanyl. And my heart had stopped my lungs would not operate on their own, I was damn near a vegetable. I’ll never forget the pain on my mother’s face... I nearly lost everything I loved, and destroyed the ones who love me...

So, society as we know it appears to be tearing itself apart. The push for unity that drove our forefathers forward appears to be in reverse. I hate it!

As humans, we are going to fail, we are going to fall flat on our faces many times, and it's going to be messy.