satire
Politicians provide us with all of the comedy gold. We're only mere curators.
Campaign Killer
“Come on, Lester, you’re the one that’s supposed to have all the answers. Why am I sagging in the polls? We are down nine points to that unknown newbie. Time to earn all that money I’m paying you.”
Mark GagnonPublished 9 days ago in The SwampSam Altman at The Altar of Strong Opinion
I had lunch at McDonald’s last week. I was there mostly because I love the Fillet-O-Fish. I order it each time I visit. It tastes melt-in-your-mouth amazing, and it's healthier than the burgers, there’s a bit of fish buried inside all that deep-fried breading.
Scott ChristensonPublished 17 days ago in The SwampCalling Moscow - 20
This conversation happened on November 14, 2023, after Trump went through some of his records and stumbled upon a transcript of a 2019 call with Putin.
Lana V LynxPublished 27 days ago in The SwampCalling Moscow - 19
This conversation happened on November 10, following rumors of Putin’s death and Trump’s testimony in the New York civil fraud case.
Lana V LynxPublished about a month ago in The SwampStanding Up for Sitting Out
“You MUST stand against Hamas,” someone tells me, “Stand Up for Palestine!” another insists. After watching a dozen YouTube videos on the history of the region and the conflict, I still can not decide. Analysts from both viewpoints make perfectly rational arguments why their side is correct and just. I've spent hours flip-flopping from being terribly outraged at one side, and then the other, and feel I am no closer to making an informed decision on 'where I stand' than when I started. I'm exhausted, outraged, and want to shout at everyone. I need a breather.
Scott ChristensonPublished about a month ago in The SwampPresident Vows to Protect Nazis with Own Life
August 26th (Nashua, NH) – Your rights, freedoms, and liberties are all under attack, according to the President of the United States. At a press conference held after meeting with the governor of New Hampshire ostensibly to discuss recent events in the State, the President addressed the media and others in attendance with a fiery speech about personal freedoms. Said the President:
Protesters Invited Inside the White House, Fight Each Other Instead
August 7th (Washington, D.C.) – Protestors outside the White House yesterday found themselves the recipients of a unique proposition when the President of the United States invited them inside to discuss their concerns. Unfortunately for them, a lack of cohesion in the crowd made it appear that the opportunity would slip through their fingers. How this rare opportunity to meet with the President came about and the reverberations from the entire escapade has left the protestors, law enforcement officers, and members of the federal government reeling. Details are still emerging, but this is what we know so far.
On the Eve of Independence Day, President Leads Impromptu Tour of Homeless Encampment
July 3rd (Washington, D.C.) – On the eve of the country’s birthday, the President of the United States grabbed several reporters, a camera team, a security detail, and anyone who happened to be in the hallways, and took them on a walk around the nation’s capital.
Calling Moscow - 18
To my dear friend Rita, who works tirelessly on nuclear non-proliferation since late 1990s. This conversation happened on September 13, as Trump was seeking the details of Putin-Kim summit in the Far East.
Lana V LynxPublished 3 months ago in The SwampPresident's Speech at College Graduation Goes Far off the Rails
May 28th (Castleton, VT) – When the undergraduate student union at Castleton University voted to have the President of the United States be their commencement speaker, no one seriously expected the invitation to be accepted and the leader of the free world to appear before them at their little-known small liberal arts college in the middle of the woods of Vermont.
The Secret Wars the President Does Not Want You to Know About
May 14th (Detroit, MI) – Is the President of the United States a person of peace, or a purveyor of war? As details leak out from behind the scenes of the White House, the question is becoming more and more difficult to answer.
Moscow's Calling - 11
Part 2 for Benjamin, a future superstar of American neuroscience. Keep rising! Putin is in The Hague on trial for the war crimes. The judge is addressing him, “Is there anyone who could testify to your good character, Mr. Putin?”
Lana V LynxPublished 4 months ago in The Swamp