You Don't Need Make-Up

I grew up never wearing much makeup and in my twenties, even less. Then there were children, I birthed two and my husband was a practicing alcohol/drug addict. When we were getting divorced and the judge mistakenly said, "And you have three children," I pointed at my soon to be ex-husband, laughed and said, "yes, I did have three, until today!" The ex didn't think that was very funny. How did I get to the point of divorce. I was married to this man for 13 years and we were together for 15 years. I knew from our early dating that he had a problem with alcohol. I was used to alcoholics. That is who I loved and continue to love. I grew up as a codependent, as the saying goes. And what does this have to do with makeup? Well, I am here to tell you.

When our youngest child was born, he quit breathing at one month. When I ran him to the hospital he quit breathing again. He was poked and prodded all night long and they finally arrived at an answer some time the next morning. They said, "your son has something we call SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome. This means that he can stop breathing anytime and for most they come out of this at age 2 1/2." I already knew he could die from this as one of his cousins already had. This changed my life at this point. I never smoked after this. Cigarettes or pot. I didn't know until he was about two years old that he was really allergic to smoke. Okay, what about makeup?

My life changed, I was all set to leave my husband as I was going to not allow my baby to die and I couldn't focus on both him and his dad in his active addiction. His dad agreed to go to marriage counseling. There she told us that she couldn't help us as long as there was a drug and alcohol problem, and she said, "it is just like pounding your head against the wall, we won't get anywhere." She then gave us a list for AA meetings and a list for Al-anon meetings and an assessors name and number. I knew alanon was for me and I started right that week. Next thing I knew I was going to meetings almost every day. He went to treatment several times in the next few years and it didn't take with him. He said, "I can't quit smoking pot and it takes me back to drinking every time." While we were still married he went to treatment 5 times. Okay, what about makeup?

It is recovery month, so I felt it was important to start there. My alanon sponsor encouraged me to sell Avon. She said, "you have been taking care of others most of your life and you really aren't taking care of yourself. I want you to have to take care of yourself. Avon, will help you to do that." Sometimes I wonder if it was because I smelled, or was always looking tired or that I really needed makeup as I looked so bad. I lost track of her, as that was probably 42 years ago now, so I will never know. By selling Avon, I started to paint my nails; both hands and feet. I noticed that is what people would buy from me and of course, I couldn't just sell product without making money, so I started to wear more Avon and sell more product. Next thing you know, I was wearing lipstick and eye shadow and again, customers bought whatever I wore.

When I took the kids and left the husband it was because, I was working a good program, so good that I was taking care of me and the kids and not paying too much attention to his addiction. He threatened to kill himself and I let his family and friends know he was threatening that. Others stepped in. I probably could have done that forever but I had children to consider. I was now sober/drug free as when I went to family treatment, they suggested I be assessed and then the counselor told me that I could feel free to go to AA. It took me a good year to really believe this though as I really didn't pay much attention to me and what I was doing over the years. Not drinking or using drugs made it difficult for me to stay in a marriage with a practicing alcohol/drug addict. Makeup?

Anyway, moving to the town I grew up in, and having a new sponsor and telling her what I was doing in my last town, she decided it would be good for me to sell Mary Kay and she encouraged that as extra income when I went back to school. My husband and I were back and forth and he was driving truck over the road. Well, I should say, he was sober off and on and that is why we were back and forth. I sold Mary Kay and loved certain parts of that. I loved that I could see how it helped women to feel better about themselves with facials and makeup. Again, I sold what I wore. I made sure women knew how important the skin care was. Even more important than the makeup. Again, it wasn't all for fun. I hated making the phone calls to ask for reorders, but I did by looking for ten no's as I would tell myself, I only have to get ten no's to be done for the day.

My husbands (three altogether) over the years have said, "you don't need to wear makeup." I heard that from the customers I had too and others in the community. I decided I would ask my customers to watch their husbands and see who they are looking at when they are out in public. Are they looking at the women with makeup on or the women without. Every one that got back to me said, their husbands were noticing the women in makeup. I made sure I told them that my husband said, "he is a one woman man, just not dead." In other words he would be looking at other women until he died, even though I was the only woman for him. I paid attention to women, who said, I dress more for other women, than for men. As women notice, men don't. They don't even know why they are looking at the women in makeup. It is just how they are made. They don't know they are doing that.

While selling Mary Kay, I had the opportunity to spend time with a Hollywood makeup artist. Fun times. Then other Mary Kay consultants always had fun tips. In that way, I could help others. It helped me to cover up the Bells Palsy after effect I have, as I knew what to do with makeup. Even though I am old now, I still enjoy wearing red lipstick and I have been told by a couple old busy bodies that I am too old to wear red lipstick. I don't care what they say as I enjoy it. Well, maybe I do care about what negative comments I receive as I dismiss all of the compliments I regularly get and even though I continue to wear red lipstick, I still think about those two women.

I know that I feel better when I have "my face on" and the only time I couldn't wear my face, was in treatment as I had to be myself and only myself. That really helped me to be okay with me no matter what. Makeup or no makeup. Hair decorations or no hair decorations, jewelry or no jewelry. I recommend makeup to all. It's fun and can help us look better longer and put a smile on our face.