Why You Should Tell Your Reflection 'I Love You'

Each morning, I try my best to maintain some sort of routine. I make my bed, brush my teeth, and follow through with a moderately elaborate skincare routine. I make my way to my magnifying mirror where I proceed to douse my skin in rose water, tweeze my eyebrows, and stare at any and all imperfections I can find.

I remind myself to say "I love you," aloud, whether I believe it or not. Some mornings start off rough from the remnants of a bad dream or an intrusive thought that disrupts my first waking moments.

Though, I am so fortunate that most of my mornings begin with a clear mind, the feeling of a brand new day, and the joy of waking up in this human body I call home.

We look in the mirror quite often - probably more often than we realize. We search for our reflections in objects that aren't intended to be a mirror - our phone, a window we pass by, anything really. The problem is that we live in a society where being proud to love ourselves often gives us the face of a narcissist.

Narcissism or Deep Self-Love?

The word narcissism has evolved to be a terribly overused insult that at times is thrown around carelessly in an effort to put others down. As a society, we almost feel inclined to consider an individual narcissistic if they are a braggart, or excessively pleased with themselves on a regular basis.

Society has blurred the line of what it means to love yourself and bask in our eternal glory. Self-love is often compared to and misinterpreted as behaviors that can be equated to being "full of oneself." Though, in reality, acting conceited may be a consequence of living in a state of lack.

With the word narcissistic, we apply specific behaviors and traits with the definition that we hold in our minds. Maybe it's sharing every second of every day on social media as a tactic to maintain a veil of approval from strangers and friends.

Or it may be taking pride in everything we do to the point where we feel that we are exempt from error or so prestigious that we do not even qualify for constructive criticism. I don't know about you but that sounds like narcissism to me. It does seem that way on the surface.

With closer examination, we can see that seemingly narcissistic behavior may be a cry for attention in an attempt to love oneself. Maybe an individual acts in a particular way because they never truly learned how to love themself.

When we put ourselves on full display or witness others doing so, we must realize that such behaviors do not stem from the feelings of being perfect or untouchable. In reality, these individuals may not think so highly of themselves and are in an ongoing search for outward validation in any sort of manner they can find it.

They may act as a "show off" because they are struggling to find contentment within themselves and in their own body. Despite this, on the outside they are portrayed as someone who has all their shit together in every aspect of life, is exquisitely presented, and appears to be of excellent physical and mental health.

Behaviors we often associate with a narcissistic individual may range from vanity to greed. These are not symptoms of exorbitant self-love, but simply the absence of such. They are often mistaken for narcissism.

Narcissism is consistently viewed as an undesirable way to live, and essentially something that most people want to avoid. This is when it becomes an issue of failure to love oneself. We equate the two demeanors far too often. Frankly, we forget to love ourselves because we believe or think others will contemplate our behaviors as indicative of narcissism.

Loving Ourselves

Sometimes, as an adult, it may be difficult for us to love ourselves. Some individuals were raised by caregivers who rarely gave them permission to appreciate their bodies and minds unapologetically and without reserve. Though, if you happen to fall within this category of people, it doesn't mean you have lost all possibility of loving yourself.

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

When you stare at your reflection, do you harbor over minuscule imperfections like a pimple or a wrinkle? It's okay if you do - we have all been there.

Do you also look into your eyes and give thanks for being alive and having this completely unique human experience? Are you filled with joy or brought to tears when you stare deeply into your own eyes - the window to the soul?

When I look in the mirror, I make a conscious effort to really look at myself and see me. It's so easy to lose sight of the beauty within ourselves and default to comparing our outer vessel to unrealistic portrayals of people similar to us in one way or another. It isn't our fault. We live in a world where we go through each day being bombarded with advertisements that try to sell us things we didn't realize we needed.

I challenge you to change the dialogue for the better with yourself when you stare at your reflection. Do you see a successful person who is driven by love, compassion, kindness, and strong will? A good friend, daughter/son, lover, companion?

Or are there days when your reflection rings as a lost soul who can't seem to get their life together? Someone who is doing their absolute best but still isn't good enough?

If you don't believe you are good enough and are repeatedly telling that to your reflection, then how will you rise above it? It will only make it more difficult to face your challenges, your doubts, your fears, and your hardships in life.

The Power Is Within You

In an audiobook by Louise Hay, "The Power Is Within You," I gathered some powerful techniques and tactics to improve my sense of self, bring forth feelings of oneness, and improve my relationship with my higher being.

I started to really spend time with myself, even if it be just for a brief moment. I learned to give myself a break and take a breather from time to time. When I had the urge to compare myself to others, I fought the conversation in my head and told myself I am good enough. I did it even on days when I didn't believe it.

Start by saying "I love you" the next time you look in the mirror. Look into your own eyes and say it with conviction. It may be difficult and it may even make you emotional. That's okay. That means you're breaking down some walls that have been built up over the years.

Learning to face them will put you on the road to loving yourself a little bit more. It will improve your now and pave the way for a healthier future with yourself.

Start small. Start with a smile looking back at you. Start with looking into your own eyes. You can do this.

Xo, Susie

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