This is my strength

Life isn't easy and never will be. If it was would it really be worth it? I say no it wouldn't. Now hear me out. If all you ever lived were happy days never once having a day of pain. Would you ever know what true happiness is? Not really no. The reason I ask is when some has had a hard life and you don't see how they could possibly be happy. Stop and remember it takes a form of darkness to also have light.

Now is where my strength comes in. I'm about to get really real. If abuse and violence bother you please turn back now.

So right now I'm 29. We are going to start at age 5. Now when I was 5 my mom was married to my stepdad, Michael. My father married Michael's mother. So he was my Step-dad/brother. ( Still with me. Trust me I know very weird.) Michael started to molest me. I was threatened with a blade held to my throat not to tell anyone. Long story short mom found out called the cops though never pressed charges. So yes he got away with it.

At 15 mom and I are living with her friend and her husband. I went from an only child to raising 4 girls because all the adults were too busy. Fast forward a year and a half. At 16 mom's friend's husband is drunk like most days. Dead of winter snow is everywhere. I spent an hour outside with their dog trying to get him to go potty. Gave up went inside and less than 5 minutes later takes a big dump on the floor. I'm a teen I say some crap I don't mean. Next thing I know he has a loaded cocked ready to be fired gun pointed at my face. Mom sits and watches. Them I'm told later "You know that is just how he is."

At 18 I found out was pregnant with twins I was so excited. Unfortunately at 16 weeks, I lost them. This was in July my father's birthday and the fourth car accident have been in.

At 20 was married. Two months before 21 I had my son. The joy and light of my life. Without my little man know or understanding. He helped me stand strong through my divorce from his father. when he cheated and choose another. When we were thrown out with no home to go to. My son was 18 months when I had to start over with nothing.

All of this has shown me take all moments no matter the feelings. Never let them break you. Let them build you. Every moment makes this life worth every struggle and every smile.

So if you ever have those moments you don't think you can get through. I want you to stop take a step back. Close your eyes and breathe. For this is just a moment it will pass. This is why life is so hard. these moments are meant to help build us and grow us. For me, this is a chance to help all that can. Also to show my little man that we can always find a way.

It won't be easy but I know it will be worth it. Fight for yourself. For what is important. For all your Dreams. Never give up never ever let a moment stop you from reaching for the stars!