The Likeness

We drove up the snowy, winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. I was a little chilly and wishing the fireplace would already be ablaze with a welcoming fire and maybe some of my favorite cookies and hot chocolate on the table as if someone besides the Airbnb host knew when I was coming and had this special moment planned.

I opened the front door, surprised it was unlocked, and began to feel instantly just a bit woozy. The whole room seemed to wobble a little and, though the fire was alive, the room warm, when I scanned the scene, I did not see my imagined cookies. I slouched over to the couch, tired from the long journey, and closed my eyes. Only a moment later, a luminous figure appeared from what probably was the kitchen, holding the steaming cup, and, yes, those cookies.

I smiled a tired smile, and he assured me that I did not have to get up or do anything but rest awhile and be at peace. I was glad to hear that, although, "Who is this guy?" I wondered. Moments later, I was asleep, or so I thought. Was I dreaming? No, I remembered reserving this place online months ago, thinking that I really needed some time off. My body was "misbehaving" a bit, not as healthy as I wanted it to be.

I began to focus on its aches and pains, but actually, I couldn't find them! It still felt like I existed somehow, but I had not felt this good physically for a long time. Some unrecognizable part of me... my spirit?... my soul?... my imagination?... got up from the couch, stretched and looked around the room. It was even more beautiful than I remembered at first glance. Everything seemed to sparkle. The fire was still softly warming the room. The hot chocolate... maybe it had some weird drug in it? I looked around for the cup and saw that it was still full, and still hot!

And where is that guy? I decided to walk around, went into the kitchen. Nothing seemed strange there. It was very tidy and clean. No food in the refrigerator. I remembered that I had snacks in my car, so I went to the parking space near the front door. No car! And no driveway! I have to complain about this. I have been tricked. And where is my purse and my phone? I looked around; none in sight. I was beginning to get angry and very disturbed when the man appeared again seeming to come out of that same kitchen door.

"So sorry," he said. I just had to go out back for a minute to look at this beautiful sky. "Want to come?" Oddly, I felt like I really did want to come. When he opened the back door, it was truly magnificent, but different than I expected. "What is that beautiful blue star?" I questioned. "The Earth," he said and then became very silent. The whole night was silent. Yet, there was a glow about it all, including the glow of the man.

I looked into his face, this time searching for details. At this point, I wasn't even sure it was a man. A woman? Something else entirely? He extended his hand, and my automatic reaction was to extend mine. When it reached his, it was as if I disappeared or melted or some impossible-to-describe feeling that I am not sure I ever felt before. It was as if I had become all things, the blue planet, all the stars scattered carefully above me, the cabin, the fire inside, even the hot chocolate and its cup!

He allowed me the full experience, waiting for my acknowledgement. That "we" who drove up the hill. I thought I had been alone. But, no, there had always been the Other everywhere around me. Now, I knew this for sure. Yes, I had "died." And it was beautiful.

someone