bipolar
Bipolar disorder; understanding the highs, the lows and the in between.
Blue slushie
Blue slushie Fame pAin shame the darkness in my eyes keeps me awake , vaping on my tool grey smoke blowing from my nose , my dad comes in my room says he is getting raw bacon ,boil potatoes in a pot frying stripes on the grill , need some more veggies (brocoli) to balance the deal .Still hungry grabs some more popcorn and a light blue slushie. Goes to the mall , the sun is shining through the glassY roof a brown dog goes woof ! Says he likes my class , I pet him his owner not too happy bout it , I’ll pass. A yellow guy maybe , still hungry Wendies or The golden arches ? Guess I’ll save some of my purple bills , I have sushi at my place . White rice fish and crab. My favorite condiments , I’m extatic. Watching the nba it’s the Phoenix suns with the orange jerseys , CP3 drains a deep three OMG , the crowd goes wild the game won by 1 .The confetti are dropping on the sweaty players they rejoice, i can see it all from my bed trought the pixels of my screen. Wow technology ! Kinda tired starts counting sheeps comfy in my bright Multicolored ikea sheets. One last look at my painting before falling asleep. I’m I dreaming , nope I wake up and go take a leak , sitting on the toilet I’m also defecating . Still sitting on my throne someone knocking on the door its my mum she passes me a Cripsy shrimp onigiri . I’m not really hungry but still wants some oranges , my favorite , I grab a teal plate and start peeling. Remembering walking in the forest surrounded by amber trees, stress and anxiety flowing away as the autumn leafs fall around me. My brother ask me do to the laundry , goes down in the basement the machine starts roaring the cloathes going round and round as my thought differ I start thinking about that girl that blocked me , pink thoughts around my head follows me , i queue up some Lil uzi , headphones on , neon guts playing I’m my ears I feel nostalgic, magic , light purple llama pianiata from that game I used to play, I’m a geek ! She said I tweaked maybe I’ll stick to gaming on my ps4. Even thought I only saw her 3 times. 2 time in the rain and once in the backseat of a cop car.
Lucas VincentPublished 3 years ago in PsycheDarker side of the Rainbows
Darker side of the Our Rainbows - Living with Bipolar disorder The golden hot flames raging war between the mind and heart cause the calling out with every fiber of my being, “I see your pain,” “I feel your pain,” “I see your struggles,” “I feel your struggles,” “I’m here, let me help you,” feeling the cold blackish winds carrying my anguished words away from their desires’ focus.
Jace DrakePublished 3 years ago in PsycheDarker side of the Rainbows
Darker side of the Our Rainbows - Living with Bipolar disorder The golden hot flames raging war between the mind and heart cause the calling out with every fiber of my being, “I see your pain,” “I feel your pain,” “I see your struggles,” “I feel your struggles,” “I’m here, let me help you,” feeling the cold blackish winds carrying my anguished words away from their desires’ focus.
Jace DrakePublished 3 years ago in PsycheAbout Me
Hi there to all! Welcome to my first blog post! Thanks for pressing on my post to read more about me. Well first, my name is Ariana and I was born and raised in Miami Florida, i have two siblings, two step siblings, I am a Pisces baby, and my favorite color is blue. My favorite number is eight, my humor is what is called sarcastic humor, I enjoy action movies, detective based tv shows, cooking, reading, and studying numerology for fun.
Ariana LeonPublished 3 years ago in PsycheDaybreak
As I travel through my fifties, I am feeling a bit worse for the wear. I'm tattered, worn and often having trouble telling up from down. Luckily, I tend to have a hopeful personality and still believe that there are many good things coming my way.
Juliette McCoy RiittersPublished 3 years ago in PsycheWhy is in patient so scary?
Words, They hold power even years after they've left the mouth. I remember being a little girl and saying whatever came to my mind, In fact I still do- But back then I didn't understand the weight that words have on one another,I didn't understand one simple sentence could change someones life. I just didn't get it. When I told my dad he looked like salami because he had so many freckles, We laughed it off, Because it was a funny sentence out of a child's mouth.
𝙺𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝙳𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚢 ☾Published 3 years ago in PsycheLiving Outside the Box of Regret and Shame
I guess for me my life could be compiled of many embarrassing moments. Embarrassing and regretful may be a mild expression for the feelings I have felt. For the last 10+ years I have lived with a Bipolar 1 diagnosis. I have revealed a plethora of characters that I didn’t even know I had in me. At one point I was so crazy I thought I was God and Satan simultaneously. I guess you never know your potential fully until you have gone through such a phase. I have been hopeless. I have been broken but the truth is that is the place where healing can come in. I choose to release the negative and let go of all the emotional drama that this drama queen has conducted.
Sara JamesPublished 3 years ago in PsycheMusic That Moves My Bipolar Soul and The Playlist That Steadies The Pendulum
I have always loved music. My Mother likes to say that I could sing before I could talk and my daughter Rosaleen inherited that from me. Long before she could string a coherent sentence together she could sing the full score from Frozen. In my day it was Snow White. Rosaleen is like me in so many ways. She looks just like me when I was her age. She has my eyes, my nose and my whacky hairline with blonde curls that can't choose any kind of direction to fall in.
Clara Elizabeth Hamilton Orr BurnsPublished 3 years ago in PsycheThis is Life
Occasionally, you meet someone who claims without trepidation that they want to know what you are thinking, seeing, hearing, feeling when they realize you are having a manic episode. Yes, a close friend, all one of them, wants to see inside your mind so they can better HELP you. God bless her. She meant well; I know that now, but it still stings when I think back on that all to predictable day. To this day I know she truly and sincerely wanted to help. I naturally hesitated but nonetheless, I let her in. Never again. My experience went a little something like this.
Serina MattesonPublished 3 years ago in PsycheThe Fight Inside
The screeching of the alarm clock pierces the stone cold silence of the early morning. As soon as I reach over to turn it off, my brain begins to start the battle of the day. The battle is always the same and always different. A so-called 'normal person' would be confused by that statement, but people with Bipolar Disorder understand very well. Part of me wants to get up, shower, eat breakfast and get ready to face the day. Another part of me wants to lay in bed and think about how awful my week was, and wonder if today will be more of the same. Should I just get up and do everything I can to have a wonderful and fulfilling day? Or should I just lay in bed all day with the curtains drawn, and not even give myself a chance to screw things up again?
Sapphire DeBrownPublished 3 years ago in PsycheGreiving
While the understanding of mental illness has come a long way there is still much more to be learned by all. The stigma attached to a person who is mentally ill is still greater than what the news reports would have you believe. Sure, the few studies that have been done say society is more accepting of the fact that mental illness is a disease and not a mere moral failing. Yet almost fifty percent of society said they would still be hesitant to leave a child with someone they knew was mentally ill. The big misconception that always infuriates me is most is society no longer believes we are violent. I’m not so sure of that. It seems like we may be rowing uphill with this particular fact. The studies do show that a person who suffers from a mental illness is 10% more likely to be a victim of violence than being the actual perpetrator. However, the horrible incidents of shootings that have happened in recent years that receive tremendous coverage from our news always make sure to report, “…and they are to be believed to be struggling with a mental illness!” Why don’t we ever hear of the great accomplishment of the mentally ill on the news? I am sure they are numerous. As far as the fear factor is concerned, not just violence but the entire disorder, I go by my own personal experience and say that those studies must be wrong to some extent. I have lost count of the times when I thought that I had a true friend, one that had accepted me as a whole person, bipolar disorder and all. They always think I am funny and outrageously fun. The time will always come unfortunately when I wander off the reservation into a manic episode, and they get a true glimpse into my mind. Guess what they do? They stand quietly, very still at first, then back away very slowly, then pick up the pace until they are in a flat-out run trying to get away from me. No more lunches together at the Waffle House, no more going shopping at the Bargain Ben on fifty cent day, no more phone calls. Complete desertion. All because I did not sleep for a few days which threw me into a state of complete mania. So, what if I did talk incessantly about the DEA camping out across the pasture recording every movement I took. What if I did go up to the couple at the next booth and lay a kiss on the hot guy sitting with his wife, who was young enough to be his daughter, so I made an error in judgment, causing his wife to reach over and grab my hair and start banging my head on the table trying to defend what was rightfully hers. Oops. Luckily, my friend grabbed me by the waist as I was about to defend myself and managed to forcibly drag me out of the restaurant and throw me in the car. When we got into the car, she started laughing so I thought all was good. She did recognize I was in a crisis and saw to it that I received the help that I needed. However, after I was stabilized, she became unreachable. That is just one of my experiences. There have been many, just not as severe. In the end, they simply do not like what they see, and people don’t like what they can’t explain or what they don’t understand. Honestly, though I do not like what I do not understand either.
Serina MattesonPublished 3 years ago in PsycheBipolar part 2
2007: After the first phone call and after I entered the hospital there in Panama City, FL, I was feeling more like myself and less with the feeling of danger. Carted off by my wife who came there to pick me up, she was tearful as she wrapped her arms around me. She then guided me to the Yaris that we had and together with daughter in tow left the hospital grounds headed toward a new adventure with this new folly, this new disease of the brain (at least that what I thought it was).
William L. Truax IIIPublished 3 years ago in Psyche