Saved By The Sea

Mental Health Awareness has been at the forefront of many of our experiences in the last few years. When Covid-19 started to affect the world and countries enacted lockdowns for safety, many people experienced new challenges as the world stopped and we all had a moment to think about our lives in relation to the whole. We had spent so long on the hamster wheel of day to day living, shoving our problems deeper as we put a face on every day when we walked out of the door. Lockdown meant many of us realised that this way of life was causing us harm and that things had to change, that we could no longer live how we did before. For some lockdown increased their isolation and they found without others, they struggled to maintain good health. I think for all of us, it keenly bought home the fragility of the human condition.

This new focus on Mental Health hasn't come soon enough. For many years smaller service providers who rely heavily on fundraising to offer their help have only existed due to the good-will of their supporters. Unfortunately, many of these services fly under the radar and no one knows about them until you need them. Lockdown has impacted the funding of many of these services and they are under threat of closure or being unable to help as many people as before.

Today I want to tell you a story. Not my story, but my daughter's story which she has kindly agreed I can share.

My daughter, we'll call her Pie, has always struggled with Anxiety. She copes admirably, there are ups and downs and she fights through them all and comes out still with the same indomitable spirit every time. In true fashion after all the powerful women in my family, she is a Willow. We bend, we do not break. The fighting spirit of her Irish ancestors of 400 years ago shines true in this one. The Cornish Celt blood runs strong through my young warrior too. She belongs to the land and the wild places, a friend of the four-footed, finder of interesting stones, reader of the clouds, seeker of the extraordinary.

We were trying to find something to help build her self confidence around others as well as helping her on a sensory level. She doesn't like talking about her feelings, she is a quiet child, full of introspection although mention dinosaurs and be prepared to sit down for a two hour lecture! Surfing Therapy was suggested as she liked Forest School and so we were referred to The Wave Project.

The Wave Project has various clubs throughout the country, we are part of Cornwall's. They are brilliant people offering their time free of charge or for a small donation and in return offer a unique experience for both the attendee and their family. Many of the volunteer surfers drive for miles to help the children and I haven't met one who hasn't been a genuine delight of a person. We started our journey with The Wave Project back in 2019.

My daughter was referred for Surf Therapy, and with much trepidation, we turned up to our first meeting both looking lost and confused! We were fortunately welcomed by a surfer dude with the friendliest grin and he simply exuded an aura of welcome and safety. My daughter, who often couldn't deal with the pressure of school and couldn't attend regularly as a result, trotted off hand in hand with this magic man and met some other equally nice surfers who helped her into wetsuit and introduced her to the other children.

When everyone was ready (with no rushing and moving at each child's pace), we paraded down to the shore, adults carrying the boards and the children like turquoise shirted ducklings in their wake. No one was left alone, the quieter children paired with an adult who walked at their speed, easing them along.

They started with some warm up games, a great ice breaker and way of preparing for the very physical activity to follow. A lot of silly play encouraged even the quieter ones and soon Pie was giggling along with the rest. After ten minutes or so, the sea beckoned...

I lost my child to the Sea.

Not literally of course, but like me, her first love is the Sea. I remember the first day I fell in love with the Sea. I was fourteen, sometimes my father would drive us to the coast to watch the waves break over the harbour in rough weather and oh how I loved her. The absolute unbridled fury soothed my teen angst so much.

For Pie, it was the first time she climbed on a surfboard.

She is absolutely tenacious surfer. The water transforms her. She is her truest, happiest self and as a parent, I could not ask for more. She ran back to me after that first session full of a fire I hadn't seen burn so brightly in many years. She overflowed with words, she'd made a new friend, she really liked the instructors, did I see when she stood up? Did I want to learn shaka hands? It was glorious.

Every week her confidence soared, and she even started attending some sessions without me but with her new friend (who shared the same taxi). At home she was calmer and happier in general, Surf Therapy worked holistically as she had both an emotional and sensory outlet. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and at the end of our twelve session allocation, we were invited to join Surf Club.

To my shame, though I have my own struggles as a neurodivergent parent, we didn't start attending Surf Club again until this year. Pie is, unfortunately, struggling again as the move to 'big school' is a hard one. This time around she decided she wanted to have her own suit and this has now grown to shoes, gloves, a big dry robe and a wet bag! I am sure the only reason we don't have a board is she realises we really don't have anywhere to keep one! The anxiety mountain is bigger this time, but her continued confidence in the Sea helps, as well as the support from the volunteers. In her last session, she came back to me glowing as one of the volunteers asked when she'd be attending again so he could make sure he was on the same one. She'd taken quite a knock but still come up with as much vigour and enthusiasm as she'd started with an hour before. He was impressed, and his approval of her skills boosted her wonderfully! She gets on really well with a nurturing, personal approach and this is what the Wave Project offers. They are equally kind to parents, and I too gain much from my hours by the Sea whilst my daughter is in it. It's helped us both immeasurably.

My daughter is one of many children who struggle with their Mental Health. It's hard for many of us as adults, so imagine being a twelve-year-old girl with those feelings. As a parent, seeing my daughter struggle with Anxiety is heartbreaking because I have similar struggles myself, and it's not something you'd ever want them to face. Services like The Wave Project are so important because they offer so much on so little out of the goodness of their hearts. They are a lifeline for children and their families alike, offering not just therapy but a sense of shared community. Community Co-ordinators spend hours and hours arranging sessions and transport and all manner of things with the one goal of making life better for these kids. Bless her heart, not once has my Co-ordinator been cross at a last-minute anxiety cancel as they understand. There is no judgement, only acceptance.

The Wave Project Cornwall has kindly passed me these stats to share on how many lives they have touched in just this year. These families have only been able to be helped due to the kind donations of others and due to lack of funding, this help is under threat for 2022.

Here are details from the 21st April to 16th October Surf Club sessions

• 48 sessions (soon will be 54) ran in total .

• These sessions were offered across 4 beaches

• 101 Children on the Newquay Cornwall List (now 112)

• 76 Children attended sessions

• 49 Children attending 3 or more sessions

• 21 Children attending 8 or more times.

• 70 Volunteers involved

• 37 Volunteering 3 or more times

• 9 Volunteering 8 or more times

• 332 Attendances by Children & YP

• 332 x 2 hours = 664 hours of activity done by Children & YP

• Average 7 children per session

• 313 Attendances by volunteers

• 313 x 2 hours = 616 hours of volunteer time given!!!!

• Average 6 volunteers per session

As you can see, that's a lot of wonderful people helping a lot of children who benefit from a less conventional therapy than may be offered elsewhere. To be able to provide this service free or for the cost of £5 per session requires a lot of effort with fundraising before the surf season starts so sessions can be planned for the coming year. Every year the service receives many new applications as we face the fact that there is a growing Mental Health problem among our young people. We ask so much of them, school can be particularly overwhelming, and children like my daughter need a place they can retreat to where they can just be, free from demands, from pressure, and just be at one with themselves and the world.

This winter, The Wave Project are aiming to raise £22,000 through their Winter 22 Challenge to be able to help more families in 2022. They have already made a great start and through donations from local companies and parents, they have almost reached £5000 so far. I cannot offer much monetary aid in return for all they have given us, but I can give my words.

Any money made from reads on this article will be donated to The Wave Project. I also offer these keyrings via my Folksy shop (not seriously, just tinkering to help raise funds) and a £1 from each sale will be also donated to The Wave Project.

If you feel like you'd like to show support to this very worthy cause, you can make a donation to The Wave Project directly or join as a member from just £3 a month. One less Costa coffee a month to help a child escape their worries and find new meaning (my own weakness!). This also entitles you to benefits such as 10% off in their online shop!

If you'd like to run your own 22 Challenge event, please contact [email protected].

Hang loose and Dha Weles!