REWRITING MY HISTORY

2021, was difficult period for me because I went to depression and I tried to commit suicide. I went to depression because of my study pressure. My parents wanted to see me as a doctor. But I loved writing and reading books since I was thirteen years old. In the burden of medical preparation and training, I forgot who I was and what my passion was! I had utterly stopped writing and reading books. I was entered into a world where there was high competition and I stood no where. There was one such time in my life that I want to give up my medical study. Long years ago, I gave up on my writing career and later I want to give myself up.

I started being lazy, irritated, lonely, frustrated and breathlessness. I couldn't feel asleep. I was not having regular bath. I knew, what I was doing was wrong, but still I didn't stop myself from what I was doing. I was alive but I lived like a dead person.

One day, I woke up and saw myself in the mirror. I looked so ugly. I said to my inner self, "Dude, I need to change. I can't live this rubbish life anymore."

From the very next day, I changed myself. I had bath, a proper breakfast, cut my nails and did exercise. I followed this schedule for couple of two-three weeks. But I found myself again dragging into the darkness of negativity. My mind supported and motivated me to get up, do this or do that but my listless body do not want to get up early in the morning and my greedy stomach wanted to eat lot of junk food.

My laziness reason could be not having enough sleep and proper nutrient diet, that my body required. When I tried to stood up from my past and and sat to rewrite my history. I did a mistake in this process. My mistake was, I didn't gave importance to small things. Like, whenever I used to feel hungry, I would go to street shops and ate whatever was available at cheap cost or at home I would cook that could be ready in few minutes. My second fault was, I was too much engaged in my work and to achieve my goals, to be the next best Indian writer. In that hard work, I forgot, rest was important. Most of the time, I used to think about creating good novels and then typing them till late night with more than one cup of coffee. After finishing my work, when I go to sleep, I just think about publishing or about my next book. Then next day, when I woke up, I usually had headaches or saw a dream during my sleep. My third mistake was, I cut myself from my family and friends. I didn't have much explored the outer world. I just use to sit and write. My complete life was in my room.

So, for the next year, my resolution is that I want to improve my lifestyle pattern rather than achieving my goals. My plans for next year is to prioritize rest by having good sleep, hygienic food, keeping myself positive and enjoying life.

I will start my day with meditation for 10 to 15 minutes. It will help me to calm my mind and frustration. Then I will do exercise that will include jumping, running and gym. This can help me to boost energy, improve mood changes and induce sleep. After returning to home, I will read "15 yes". 15 yes is basically a chart in which I have written some positive statements. Earlier, when I used to think, I can't do this or I am not capable of doing this. Now, I changed those negative comments to positive comments that yes I can do it and I am capable to this.

My mind and body get tried so soon that I can't accomplish my daily based targets. This makes me feel upset and negative about myself. To get rid of my tiredness, I did a lot of researched and I came into the conclusion with the solution of my problem. May be I get tried so soon because of what I eat. Non veg, dairy products and fast foods are not so good although non veg and dairy product gives you lot of protein and carbohydrate. But still it could be the reason for your disinterest. Solution for this above problem that I fond suitable is by eating raw vegetables. Its been proved by science and many people have observed that by adding raw vegetable in your diet could be very beneficial. As it gives you more energy than non veg and milk products. Raw vegetables is even good for skin and heart.

On weekends, I will spend some time with my friends or go out on small trips to feel fresh.

Well this will be my 2022 resolution. I hope next year will bring light and happiness in our lives and everything will be back to normal. Lets begin 2k22 with good vibes only.