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Plans Changing With Borderline Personality Disorder

Why We Are Impulsive, Yet Hate Others' Spontaneity

By Shaye GoodenoughPublished 6 years ago 2 min read
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Those with BPD can be impulsive. We may go out and spend all our money on new clothes. We may gamble it all away. We might suddenly decide to drive down a motorway at 3 o clock in the morning without a seatbelt.

However, if we have plans and an external force makes that change, it is not easy. By not easy, I don’t mean that it makes us a little grumpy for a few minutes, or that we begrudgingly go with the new plans and grow to love it. I mean that we don’t want to leave the house. We refuse to accept that what we had set in our minds is no longer happening. Even if it is something way better, for example telling me we were going to the zoo and then on the day telling me we’re actually going to Disneyland. No. It doesn’t matter whether the new plans are better, I don’t want to do them. Plus, the longer we have had the plans, the worse the reaction.

The same applies for last minute plans. It’s okay if we decide to do it, but if we thought nothing was going to happen that evening and then someone says actually we’re going to go out in half an hour, no. Again, this is like someone has grabbed you by the skull and shaken you until you’re almost unconscious.

The mental torment I experience as a result of other people’s indecisiveness or spontaneity is tremendous. I cannot adapt. I need to be given ample amount of time to adjust to a new idea and plan. I have to wrap my deafening thoughts around these new concepts.

So please, if you’ve made plans with a borderline, try to stick to them where possible. Also, please don’t lie to us about your plans. If you want something to be a surprise that’s fine but please don’t tell us at the last minute or lie about what we’re doing. We’d much rather you tell us that we’re going out but it’s a surprise, and just tell us what to wear and what roughly to expect.

anxietypersonality disorderadvice
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About the Creator

Shaye Goodenough

I want to improve people's knowledge and awareness of mental health. I love good food, good company and good music. I'm into anime, movies, gaming, singing, poetry and baking.

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