New Starts Are Always Hard

My trauma started in childhood, and I am now 50 years old.

During that time, I struggled with many things, including abuse and housing.

I did not know what decent housing looked like for a long time after leaving home. I only knew old, run down, council housing, that was cold and in disrepair, and private housing was even worse.

Most of the areas I had lived in were violent and abusive. It wasn't secure until I moved.

I finally got a secure council house in 2010 in Bournemouth, where I settled until recently.

I had so much trauma when I first moved here, and I did not settle easily. To begin with, I had problems adjusting and getting on with the neighbours because they did not understand our difficulties.

But, I did in the end, and I discovered many supportive friends who helped me along the way.

It's a relief to be moving, because the house that we currently live in has always been in a bad way, however it is subsiding now, and it is in a worst state than it was all those years ago.

On the other hand, it is good; because this is also the place where I went through a secondry trauma before I fully recovered, which was much worse than the first trauma I had been through.

I also brought my children up here, before they were looked after whilst I was recovering, and that made me reluctant to move to begin with.

New starts are always hard.

However, they are also sometimes necessary.

I finally have a brand new home to live in with my husband, and for the first time in our lives, we have been offered a new-build.

We originally set out to buy a house before my husband had to leave work because of his disabilities, which put a damper in the works. We are just relieved that we can finally live somewhere that is warm, well built, and in a much better condition than the one we are currently living in until we move.

We have had to wait patiently since we were offered it in July, because there have been a few hiccups including a Forest fire which interefered with our move, set for August.

We decided to chance it, and hold on, because we knew that for our particular situation, this was a once in a life time opportunity that as council tenants, we would never get again.

Along, with the fact that this is a drastic life change, which we do need.

We have both had times when we were tempted to give up and bid on another property, but that would have got us nowhere, and we knew that we would have been hugely disappointed as the area we are moving to is fantastic.

We are closer to nature, town, and the local beaches.

The area is also flat, which is going to make it easier for my husband to get around in his wheelchair.

The garden and house are well-made, and it is going to be easier for us to maintain. The garden is also very private, which means we get much needed privacy along with full enjoyment of it.

An added bonus is we have patio doors on the kitchen, which is something I have always wanted, and it is air-conditioned with under-floor heating, something else we have always wanted.

Trauma can be a difficult thing, especially when memories of parenting and family are involved mixed in with the traumatic memories themselves. It can keep you stuck in one place if you let it, and that can be unhealthy.

I think we can become too attached to our homes when we have memories that were happy before trauma, and sometimes that can stop us from moving on.

However, as much as people can feel uncomfortable with it. Sometimes the only way to deal with trauma, is to attempt to move away from it and make healthier memories, which can involve moving to a new property and making new ones.

It can be hard, but it is necessary when change is the only thing that will let you move on, and protect your well-being.