Mental Health & It's Effect on Loved Ones

Let me first start by saying: "Everything written and expressed is based from personal experience. This is my family's story of Bipolar Disorder and how it has directly impacted not just my sister but each member of our family.

People talk about mental health disorders all the time. Those who live with it often share their stories of how to cope and manage properly. Very rarely do you hear stories of how those closest to the disorder are affected.

THIS is OUR STORY

If you look at my sister Rachel, the furthest thing from your mind would be Bipolar Disorder. She's beautiful, almost flawless to a spectator. She's a creative genius- her singing voice is out of this world and she's intelligent. She has everything going for her but yet it's a struggle for her to just wake up and be who she is everyday.

My sister had her very first manic episode at the age of 16.

And so it BEGAN!

We've been on a rollercoaster ride for the last 8 years. Countless hospital visits-sometimes voluntary and at times they have been involuntary. When she's in a depressive state, she can usually be controlled and is in the right state of mind but when she is manic, she isn't recognizable.

Mania is described as "a period of abnormally and persistent, elevated, expansive, or irritable mood and abnormally and persistently increased activity lasting at least 1 week and present nearly most of the day, nearly every day. It also has to be characterized by at least 3 of these 4 symptoms:

• Inflated Self-Esteem or Grandiosity
• Decreased Need For Sleep
• More Talkative Than Usual or Pressure to Keep Talking
• Flight of Ideas or Racing Thoughts, Distractibility, Increased In Goal-Directed Activity or Psychomotor Excessive Involvement In Activities That Have A High Potential For Painful Consequences

My sister usually deals with all four of these symptoms.

Could you imagine knowing someone their entire life and in an instant, not recognizing them? That is our reality every single time she is in a manic state and although it hurts, we know we can't take anything personally.

Rachel deals with emotions and experiences from Bipolar Disorder and it leaves a lasting impact on her. She recounts stories of visiting the psych ward and being around patients who have other disorders. She speaks of being afraid to go back and she often feels as if no one cares.

There are, however, many long lasting effects felt by those closest to the disorder:

Constant State of Worry

When you have a loved one with Bipolar Disorder, you are constantly on edge wondering how they are doing. It is hard to sleep at night because you worry about their safety and whether they are making decisions that can be detrimental to their mental health.

Oftentimes, people with Bipolar Disorder have other addictions. A lot of these addictions exacerbate the condition and contribute to periods of depression or mania.

Because my sister is an adult, she has been allowed to check herself out of the hospital multiple times. Usually she does this before she is out of a manic state and so she never really gets the treatment she needs to properly heal and manage the disorder.

As her oldest sister, I definitely worry but I also understand the panic our father feels because I have kids of my own. For him-the constant trips to the hospital with her gives him a sense of relief because he's at peace knowing where she is. When he's not with her and she's dealing with an episode, he dreads hearing that she's been hurt or worse-receiving a phone call that no parent ever wants to get.

Stress on Work/Family Life

Managing this disorder takes time and effort and most individuals dealing with mental health are in denial regarding the treatment they require. They are incapable of making decisions that are best for them. Consequently, it is up to family members to ensure that appropriate measures are taken for their health.

Having a supportive employer is vital to dealing with mental health. My father has lost a job in the past and recently has lost significant pay from taking time off to help my sister navigate the challenges Bipolar Disorder presents.

Moreover, when dealing with something of this magnitude, other family matters are neglected. If you have other kids, issues that they may be dealing with are put on the backburner. Responsibilities at home are put on hold until things are resolved with your loved one.

Feeling Helpless

No matter how much you do, you will always feel that it was never enough. Bipolar Disorder just doesn't disappear overnight. It is a medical condition that requires constant treatment and management. Taking medication appropriately, outpatient therapy, treatment for other addictive behaviors and having a strong support system is necessary for beating it. Unfortunately, most family members and friends can not devote the time it takes to monitor a loved one 24/7 and so it leads to feelings of despair and a constant cycle that just repeats itself.

Making the Decision to Help or Seek Help

When you aren't financially prepared, hospitals are not designed to help those dealing with a mental health crisis. They check you in and are ready to check you out the moment they see a glimpse of getting better. The last time my sister went to the hospital, she was back out again in 3 days. Manic episodes typically last for at least a full week, sometimes longer. There is no way that any medication she was administered had time to make any change in her symptoms during that timeframe.

Furthermore, hospitals allow mental patients to sign an AMA (Against Medical Advice) Form. This gives the patient the right to discharge themselves from the hospital even though it's been advised not to. This has happened twice in the last month with my sister. Given this information, it is hard to trust the professionals who are supposed to provide adequate care for those suffering from this disorder.

Although you know you aren't professionally trained to deal with the disorder, you contemplate sending your loved one back to places that aren't doing everything in their power to help. It is a constant battle of should we send them back into a system that treats them as a stigma or deal with this on our own?

Despite all of this, I think it's important to advocate wholeheartedly for your loved one. Let them know that their condition doesn't have to define or dictate their existence. Bipolar disorder is a condition but it is NOT a stain. With support from loved ones and proper management, those living with this disorder can continue to thrive and be successful members of society.