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The Blessing In Brokenness

You Are Not Your Broken Pieces

By Tiffani TalksPublished 3 years ago 5 min read
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The Blessing In Brokenness
Photo by Thomas Dumortier on Unsplash

As women, we have all been there before. You fall in love. Everything seems ideal. You feel like this is different.

Maybe, just maybe, I've finally found the one who my soul desires.

You start to let your guard down and let someone who was once a stranger into your innermost thoughts. You start planning your days with them. Those days turn into weeks, those weeks turn into months and before you know it...you're envisioning them apart of your world for the long haul.

But THEN...

Something changes. The vision of the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with turns into someone you now only love for their potential.

That tingling feeling in your stomach turns to turmoil as you start to uncover the painful truth.

"This was never meant to be permanent; this was just temporary."

You look back over the time you have invested and the pain that you have endured: the lies, broken promises, the infidelity, the psychological/mental/emotional/physical abuse and you start to question your OWN worth!

How is it even possible to be in this position?

Why do I feel so low?

How have I allowed myself to start doubting my own significance?

Those are just a few of the questions you start to ponder every day.

Society teaches women to be the rock, to submit to men, take care of the household and be the support system for everyone.

There is also the notion that a good woman will love a man through his brokenness and be the one to build him back up again.

Yet it's considered taboo to help a woman heal through her pain...in fact, we are called damaged goods.

So, what is the blessing in brokenness?

How can one possibly push past disappointment after disappointment?

The blessing is what happens in your healing and how you use your broken parts to come back whole and better than ever.

HOW TO START HEALING:

Your Past Does Not Define You

I know we have all heard the statement, "The past can not be changed but the future is whatever you want it to be."

Although very cliché, that one statement embodies so much significance.

You can't erase what's already happened. All you can control is what happens going forward.

So, first stop dwelling on your past mistakes. We are human. We fall short and it may happen ten times before we get it right. That's okay.

The point is not to stay there. Process the hurt, shed those tears, then dust yourself and get back up again.

Then, come back stronger than before and when you do decide to love again, give your love to someone who is willing to love you for all of you-even the broken parts.

Too often we allow the opinions of others to shape our existence, to live rent free in our minds.

I've been there.

To be told, "You're damaged." Like writing you off, as if to say you can't be fixed. Trying to make you feel as though you're beyond repair.

Sis-you need to be with someone who recognizes that even though you've been broken, you are still worth it. We have to stop wasting our greatness on those who can't love us through the difficult parts of us.

Take Time To Heal

This is hard but if you don't take the time necessary, you will never get past the hurt.

No one can tell you how long you need to take for this either.

If you've ever lost a loved one, you know there is no magic formula for grief. This is similar. No one just wakes up one day and boom, they are better.

You must truly take time to identify the reasons you are hurt and process it. It forces you to come face to face with what broke you and to examine the parts of you that have fallen apart as a result.

It's going to be painful, and it will feel like you are reliving it but it's not until we break ourselves down that we can build ourselves back up again.

Not dealing with it will cause it to resurface.

Don't try to preoccupy your mind, it won't work.

Moving on will not work.

The only way to get past it and heal is to deal with it head on.

Put Yourself First

I know what you're thinking.

Me, first?

Putting others before you is inherent as a woman.

Others needs seem to always take precedence over your own.

BUT if you don't value yourself, you will continue to become victim to the lies that consume you.

You are important and if you don't believe that, how can you expect anyone else to treat you as such?

Wake up each day with the mindset to do something for you. It could be as small as going outside for a walk or taking 30 minutes to yourself to listen to your favorite podcast/read a good book.

Small steps eventually turn into bigger steps and goals.

Remember you are not you past! Transform your future by showing up for yourself every second of each day.

Invest in YOU and I promise, you will feel better and even start to look better.

In loving yourself completely, you will notice a SHIFT.

You will become an unstoppable force.

And SIS, that is the blessing in your brokenness.

When you take something that was meant to break you, and you allow it to elevate you to a level that not even you knew existed.

Take those fragmented pieces and put yourself back together perfectly.

Don't let someone else define your story. You are worth it all.

THERE IS A BLESSING IN YOUR BROKENNESS

healing
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About the Creator

Tiffani Talks

"You can Do ALL THINGS" -God

Writing has always been therapeutic for my soul ❤️

Expressing my thoughts better on paper for as long as I can remember

My hope is to reach others and connect through my passion

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