I step through the front door as the driver stands behind me with the last bag of my belongings. I’ve been released from the hospital because my case worker found a foster home with an opening that could take me in. Olathe, KS. Another place, another school. Ive always hated changes and starting over. Being the new person is always so awkward. Yet I have to because I don’t have a choice.
“Should I take my shoes off?” I ask the foster mother in front of me. She nods her head and I slip off my shoes. One glance at how clean the carpet is tells me that they probably don’t allow shoes on it. It’s better to ask and start off on a good foot with this family. I know how hard it can be to get into a foster home.
“Upstairs is the kitchen and living room along with some bedrooms including ours. You will be staying downstairs. There is a bathroom next to your room that you will use. I'll show you.” I follow her down the steps with my suitcase and bag of clothes.”All I ask is that you make the bed, keep the room picked up and the bathroom clean. I clean and do chores every week so you won’t have to unless you would like to help” I look at her and nod. I don’t say anything because it looks like she has something more to say.
“We are having a family get together for New Years” oh yeah, New Years. With everything that has happened in the last two weeks I didn’t even realize it was already the beginning of a new year. “ Would you mind staying downstairs while we celebrate?” At first I’m shocked. How could she even ask that right when I had just come through the door. Yet I can understand her too. I’m a stranger and her family is upstairs. I have no place here.
I realize she’s waiting for a response “oh yeah, That’s fine. I’m pretty tired anyways.” The beginning of a new year and I’m starting it off broken and alone. I can already feel that this year isn’t going to be good.
The weekend is over and I’ve settled in what little belongings I have. The foster mother takes me to Olathe East to get enrolled. I will be riding the bus to school and I should start tomorrow. Better to get it over with sooner rather than later. It doesn’t ease the anxiety in my chest though, no matter how hard I try to reassure myself. I spend the rest of the day unpacking and getting comfortable with the new environment. I get my school supplies and outfit ready for my first day. First impressions are important.
I take a shower and get ready for bed. I want to try to get as much sleep as I can though I know with my anxiety I won't get near as much as I need. I turn the TV on and flip through some channels. I'm glad they allow one in the room so I don't have to be out there. I don't want to be here, with these strangers. I don't want to start all over at another school and be the new girl again. I don't want any of this. But I don't have a choice. I lay in the bed and cover up. My parents decided they didn't want me and refused to pick me up. I close my eyes and as I fall asleep I wonder will I be able to live without them?
About the Creator
Paige Gray
20 year old striving to be happy and successful
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